Thought this might interest you too, dear Rosevalley. I'm hereditarily hard of hearing, but only got hearing aids 6 years ago. Now I can hear the birds.

much loving kindness always, Stephanie

When 'The Talk' Is In Sign Language, There Is Clarity And Confusion

August 24, 2016

JACQUIE LEE

Daniel Fishel for NPR

On a Saturday morning, a group of adults gather in a circle in an elementary school classroom on the campus of Gallaudet University. Each wears a name tag — and on that name tag is a common sexual term: "Ejaculation." "Orgasm." "Condom."

One by one they introduce themselves by the name on their tag. Not in spoken words, but in American Sign Language (ASL).

These are parents and caregivers who have — or work with — children who are deaf or hard of hearing. The moms and dads are bashful at first, but after signing for a few minutes, they're laughing at themselves.

Let's face it: Talking about sex can be awkward. Having "the talk" is hard enough — but throw in ASL, and a lot of adults — whether it's a teacher in the classroom or mom and dad at home — can be completely stumped.

While the speaking world has convenient euphemisms for much of this stuff, in ASL some of the signs are, to put it mildly, pretty graphic. And that can make teachers and parents very uncomfortable.

"There's a fear of, especially in ASL, the signs being pretty explicit at times, so desensitization is really key,"

continued at:

http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/08/24/46629954...

Sorry you didn't like the book Stephanie- Funny I didn't get the impression it was a thumbs up on the military machine as much as the mechanics of making a tribe. Under what circumstances do folks make a tribe- disasters coming together (earth quakes), war and conflict, economic collapse etc. What circumstances cause people to act collectively and not individually. Having adopted an older kid with clear PTSD from being abandoned multiple times before the age of 4, I appreciated the PTSD comments and how PTSD symptoms are hard wired to protect us. I thought the book was good as far as he went with it. I would like to learn more about Colonial men and women leaving society to stay with the Indians.

We almost bought in to a co-housing situation here in Oregon in 2007. It is a big regret that I didn't go for it. I would have been much better off. I was so shocked by the advanced breast cancer diagnoses and it being the same side as my Grandmother that I figured why move- I would be dead. I ended up 10 years down the road. Who would have thought. I really wanted the community part of co-housing. We have no relatives here in Oregon, all family is East or in CA. The community was so popular that the wait list is years. I think we would have been better off as a family and certainly for DH as a single parent. What you give up in privacy and individuality you get back i n collective living, shared experiences, support and common purpose. We took the safest economic route which was to stay put in our ranch house in our neighbrhood. We have some friends here that are helpful but people by and large keep to themselves. Folks at DH's job have really helped us during times I have crashed.

I think that is true of our society. There is this individual bent to modern society and not a collective mind set. I"t's not my business what so and so does. I would be intrusive and need to butt out." This isolates folks. I see it with older folks, single parents and families under going crisis - illness, job loss, mental illness etc... People are afraid to intervene, check up on folks- just pop in to connect. This contributes to high rates of disconnect and depression. Poorer more rural, less "advanced" societies are far more connected. They have to be to survive. Maybe next life time I will get to experience community. I lived the entire house in the burbs, garden and stuff... it's nice but you can't take it with you and it's very labor intensive. Funny but community costs more to buy in to collectively owned lands and gardens and buildings but you get more.

It is very good to read and dust off the cob webs in the grey matter! I miss having a good conversation with another adult about ideas and topics. Even listening to bantering back and forth like on PBS gives me food for thought. Sometimes with chemo brain and electrolyte shifts from draining and being low.. back up... low... etc.. makes me a little stupid.

I am grateful for this last 6 days. I got the Gemzar chemo and while it made me tired I did not crash Friday and puke. I have been able to eat and do most things. I am tired and my legs seem weak, hips sore, but I can putter along. So this week has been pretty doable. It will be interesting to see where my markers are and how the cancer is responding. I guess I just take it week by week and see how it goes. It is life lived in the moment.

This is such a strange ride isn't it? Never know where you stand it's just take it day by day. Lovingkindness to all.

PattyPeppermint - Why are teenagers so icky?? My 15 year old happily confided that she had been yacking for a long time on FB to a boy. I said nice what's his name? She refused to answer. Shook her head no and signed None of my business. I said it is my business and I need to know. SHe refused to sign or write his name. I took her phone away. Not everyone on FB or the internet is what they seem and needy lonely teens are prime targets. I told her if she didn't like the rules feel free to live some where else. She sat on the front porch. Came in for dinner, no apology, no name. I said no outing tomorrow with your friend, if you can not cooperate. Refusal. Oh well so sad for you. Poor choice. It is your choice to cooperate. Drama.. it's a good thing she has me to deal with and not my Dad... whew the butt would have been tanned! So rude and disrespectful. I would never have refused to answer. I still have the phone too. She might be the most stubborn 15 year old in the Pacific Northwest. It wears me out.

I love the title... could be my life. Teenagers suck.

I asked my college age kid when she was staying with a friend at a hotel in Seattle and going to a concert for the address and cell phone number of her friend. She was taken back. I said out of respect for me and how much I love you; Please give me the information so if you go missing I can help the police find you. She thought I was insane and silly. I said humor me. No one loves you as much as I do and will go looking for you the minute you are late. I am not following or checking up I just care about you. There are lots of creepy people out there. Now she tells me where she will stay. We watch her cat. :-)

Dang it, Rosevalley,

I was just about to ask what book you wanted to read next for our mini book club and whether others would like to join us when Ruth popped up with a book on parenting. Parenting, like war and mental illness are untrod territories for me. I feel competent only to read and take mental notes about life in these zones. I can sympathize, but not empathize and don't feel I can comment - except in a literary way.

To mix metaphors from land-based to water - I'm out of my element and in over my head when trying to get a gut sense of the author's orientation and intent.

Still, I'm absolutely with you about reading and dusting out the cobwebs in the gray matter. I'm isolated for different reasons and so treasure every meaningful, in depth connection with others.

Maybe that's part of what draws me to being with others who know they're dying?

We can cut right through the bullshit to the chase.

Like eating the heart of a watermelon.

Am really mixing metaphors now - better stop while I'm ahead.

Rosevalley, am just delighted that this cycle is easier on you and continued healing meditations that it kicks back the cancer.

You truly have ninety-nine lives!

Loving kindness for all, Stephanie

Good morning, dear Rosevalley!

No book reports yet, though I'm reading a good one, Mark Nepo's Inside the Miracle: Enduring Suffering, Approaching Wholeness

I used to read everything Nepo wrote with great devotion - he suffered aggressive cancer and treatment over 30 years ago - but found he became repetitive after a while and began skipping books. Am so grateful that I requested this one from the library! We've both changed and though his themes aren't new to me, his poetic style is quite refreshing and further open my mind and heart. I so enjoy relaxing into the mystery!

When it's the right book at the right time, my whole body gives a big sigh and smiles.

Finally made it out to the garden with a camera and while the plant photos were a bust, here's Mabel, my landladies' dog friend. She's still under two years old, not quite a puppy, but knows how to frisk and have fun with a bit of bone. Right after this pose, she rolled over onto her back and asked to have her tummy rubbed. Her energetic, youthful, playful spirit is always refreshing!

Rosevalley, I hope your good days continue to unfold and that you're around just as long as the life force and your spirit conspire (breathe together) to keep you here.

And may we too encourage you to stay the course until it's time to travel on.

Great loving kindness for you and everyone, Stephanie

This song came to mind. I never saw the film, but the music plays on my sound track every year when the big leaves are blowing off the trees and down the streets:

rose. Big hugs today.

I am tired and sooo cold today. It is overcast, drizzling and maybe 68 degrees. I have jeans, sweater and fleece and a hat on my fuzzy head. I am still cold. It was a good day until my DD3 started talking about next summer. I politely said honey Mom won't be here next summer. She started to cry. She said, " I will miss you." I said," I will miss you too." I said, " it sucks and I am sorry but cancer decides not me." Why lie. I have been laying low and having constant bone pain twinges in my hips and back. I took a pain pill. Of course day 2 I always feel kind of slammed. They moved my chemo up a day and I will most likely have to decide if I add carboplatin and trudge on. Still pulling off liters of ascites.

I can't believe it's September 1st and I have the space heater on and turned the heat back on. Where did summer go already?? My tomatoes finally turned red just a few days ago..

You know honestly I get so much support and love from your encouragement and well wishes that when I feel down and struggle it gives me hope and strength to read your kind words. Things will be hard, as this is a hard path we must tread, but through the kindness of family, friends and fellow cancer patients like you all the path is so much less hard. I am grateful for each of you and your kindness. Blessings on us all. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

Flannel pajamas? Electronic blanket? Sending WARM thoughts.

Rose, I'm still keeping you close, in my thoughts and in my heart. I'm still holding hope for your peace of mind, body, and spirit. In lovingkindness always, Brenda

Rose - here's some Tiramisu at the Four Seasons!

I am visiting family in Minneapolis. Yesterday my SIL took us out to thr best brunch ever. The restaurant was set up like an English Country House.