Calm one day then going out of my mind the next....

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Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited October 2016 in Waiting for Test Results
Calm one day then going out of my mind the next....
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  • Amlere
    Amlere Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2016

    I had a wire guided biopsy last Tuesday and I have got only 3 days to wait now for the results...I was so calm yesterday as I had told myself that nothing is going to change today...so I may as well just get on with my day...today however...the usual anxiety is here....my brain is working overtime...trying to prepare myself for the worst results.I am 43, a single mother of grown up kids of 21 and 24.....I get told that 'We'll. . if it is the worst...there will be a plan so there is really no point worrying yet....eeeeek!!! I'm sorry but I can't help the worry and I can't stop it....no matter how much I want to.

    Keeping busy isn't easy to occupy myself as I am still sore...I need to know my results and 3 days would usually fly by wouldn't they...but lately waiting has stretched out to feeling like 1 day is a week..

    I really feel that I am going out of my mind...emotions are all over... I tell myself to get a grip as I have not been diagnosed yet....but then that word....YET....sets me off again....

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  • Luckynumber47
    Luckynumber47 Member Posts: 397
    edited August 2016

    Does it help if I say that everything you are feeling is completely normal?

    I have never been one to take pills for anything but I'm convinced that the radiologist that tells you that you need a biopsy should also hand you a prescription for anti anxiety meds. Worst time of my life! I was sure I was going to die. Why are our minds so intent on only imagining the worst? The good news is: it won't be the worst. It might even be good news. At least you'll have concrete information and can get on with your life instead of being stuck in this twilight zone.

    Do everything you can to keep busy - clean closets, paint walls, scrub toilets, pull weeds, go to the gym, and before you know it the waiting will be over. I found an audio book at the library with guided meditations. It was awesome. That man's voice was so calming. I played it over and over. Really helped, kind of drowned out all those crazy thoughts in my head.

    Best wishes for a good outcome!

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  • Amlere
    Amlere Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2016

    Hi, Luckynumber47

    Thanks for responding to me,

    Already today I am feeling so frustrated so I have started to get busy, I am in the dark here, other posts that I read go into detail about past biopsy and mammograms and scans explained to them, I haven't had anything explained except to be told that I have a black mass, they do not know what it is, even after the vacuum assisted biopsy, which is why I had the wire guided method afterwards. ..I am usually so organised and work to know every detail, but I just couldn't find any questions to ask, no words to say, I am just going through the limbo not trying so hard not to cracking haha...not funny...but humour has to work right?

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  • Luckynumber47
    Luckynumber47 Member Posts: 397
    edited August 2016

    My favorite stupid joke was: "so happy to get all this off my chest".

    I guess going through multiple biopsies will make you the resident expert here. I'm glad I don't know anything about the wire guided biopsy. Sounds scary...Shudder....I had an ultrasound biopsy on one side and MRI biopsy on the other. The MRI was bad enough but then they added needles. So fun. That's where I learned the benefit of Xanax. You really might think about getting a prescription to get through the next week. It takes a while to digest the info (if they ever figure yours out) and figure out how to move forward.

    I'm normally really anal about wanting to know everything but I sometimes wonder if it helps with all this - whatever is going to happen is just going to happen and I'm just along for the ride.

    Call them in the morning. Surely they have your results by now.

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  • Clairen
    Clairen Member Posts: 22
    edited August 2016

    i feel your pain. I had a duct excision yesterday and have to wait until next Wednesday for results. My boys are 5 and 7 years old so i really dont need a cancer diagnosis (already have crohns disease). The waiting is just awful. I think im past the constant meltdown stage now (until Wednesday)

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  • Wicked
    Wicked Member Posts: 141
    edited August 2016

    Luckynumber, I'm stealing your joke! That is so good! I've had 5 breast biopsies at this point- 1 FNA, 2 stereotactic core, and 2 wire-guided excisional biopsies (one of which ended up technically being a lumpectomy). I'd rather be told "you have cancer" than be told "you have to wait for the results to find out if you have cancer." Waiting is THE worst. And honestly, if you have never gone through this, you don't understand. At all. So glad we have this forum. Amlere, I like your approach of telling yourself, "nothing is going to change today," because you're right, nothing will change until you get the results. I might be stealing that approach as I wait for more test results in this odyssey.

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  • Amlere
    Amlere Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2016

    Hi,

    So it's now the night before my results day...I'm over the panic stage and now trying to accept that what will be, will be. Hoping for the obvious but just got to wait 1 more day....to make it worse the appointment isn't until late afternoon. I have managed to keep the date a secret from family, mainly to not put them through the whole day of the worry and also so that if I need to digest...I get my time alone...so not long now.

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  • Wicked
    Wicked Member Posts: 141
    edited September 2016

    Good luck, Amlere! Let us know how you are doing.

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  • aven
    aven Member Posts: 36
    edited September 2016

    "I haven't had anything explained except to be told that I have a black mass, they do not know what it is, even after the vacuum assisted biopsy"

    Do you have access to the mammogram or US reports that led to the biopsy? BIRADs rating? I spent the waiting period running ahead of the doctors in diagnosis, just trying to understand the language and figuring out things about breast cancer. Not sure it made me less anxious, but I know a few more things now...

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  • Amlere
    Amlere Member Posts: 5
    edited September 2016

    HI Everyone.....

    I got the All Clear....no pre cancerous...no Cancer...

    Thank you for all your support, I wish you all the best of luck..my celebration has been short and quiet in respect for you all and others fighting this awful journey. Love to all xxxx

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  • Clairen
    Clairen Member Posts: 22
    edited September 2016

    great news!! X

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  • Lindaerwin
    Lindaerwin Member Posts: 21
    edited October 2016

    i understand what you are saying, I feel the same way nobody can really make us feel better till we know what our diagnosis is. I cry slot and I didn't even go for my biopsy yet I go Oct 16 for core needle biopsy so I am waiting on that then I will have to wait for those results it's a terrible feeling sometimes I just wanna give up and say why bother but we can't we must go on. This site helps to know that their are others out their going through the same as me. God bless us all.

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