Expectations were too high :(

Options
Clpayton
Clpayton Member Posts: 5
edited August 2016 in Breast Reconstruction

Hello. Im new here. Glad i found this group. Hoping to find an outlet of people that get it..lol. my husband is great but...well....he's a man....need i say more?

I just had my tissue expanders swapped out for saline implants in July. I was really looking forward to this as the previous 7 months had been hell. I was a 44DD before and was excited to go down in size and have a more appealing look. I had the largest implants allowed put in 800cc.

My first look after surgery was awful, I cried like a baby because they looked deformed and the "side boob" my P'S said would be fixed was not.

I'm a stress eater so over these 7 months I've gained 20 pounds that seems to have found its way right under my boobs and it sticks out more that my boobs. So all in all I'm really unhappy and don't know that there is anything I can do.

I went bra shopping the other day, the lady was really nice and measured me as a 44C and helped me fit and pick out a few bras. I came home put one on and within a few hours it was hurting me. The underwirea just didn't fit around my boobs and they were digging into my chest wall between my boobs. The other one I bought was non underwire and it fit ok except it was wrinkled where my nipples used to be.

After this experience im even more upset because i need to wear a bra to look normal. Without one my boobs seem lopsided and then there is the sideboob. I read that you need to wear a bra to keep them in place while scar tissue heals but I can't find one to fit me comfortably. One of the things I was looking forward to was not having to wear a bra.

So here I am 45, overweight, cancer survivor but severely unhappy with how I look. I know I should be happy and grateful that I'm here but instead I am mad at the world. Is this normal?

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited August 2016

    Oh no, where are you located? Maybe you should have another plastic surgeon take a look.

    I dont know about implants but if a reduction was done properly you shouldnt have side issues. Did you have any liposuction or fat grafting done yet?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited August 2016

    Clpayton-

    It's totally normal to feel this way, especially if you're not happy with the way your reconstruction came out. High expectations are one thing, but it sounds like there might be some issues worth having another plastic surgeon look at. We agree with Meow, is there any way you can get a second opinion, to see what can be done? We realize in the grand scheme of things, this might not seem like something to get upset over, but this is important too, and it's important that you feel as comfortable and happy with your reconstruction as you can be!

    The Mods

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Yaniza
    Yaniza Member Posts: 140
    edited August 2016

    Yes you are normal. Don't forget that although we are grateful to have survived we are all injured and healing emotionally as well as physically takes a long time. Reconstruction is supposed to help the process. When it doesn't help it hurts very much. You are young. It isn't too late to fix this.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SanFranKitty
    SanFranKitty Member Posts: 145
    edited August 2016

    I'm so sorry you've had such a bad experience. Have you tried coobie bras? That's mostly what I have been wearing since my mastectomy. They are very comfortable and fit a wide range of sizes. And they only cost $20.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Clpayton
    Clpayton Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2016

    I am in Indiana. I haven't talked to my P'S since my post op appt about 10 days after my surgery. He did tell me that if the side boob didn't go down we can do liposuction or cool sculpting, but we didn't talk about a follow up appt. I need to call and talk to them I guess. My breast surgeon and my OBGYN both said that "they look really good" so maybe I'm just being overly critical.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Clpayton
    Clpayton Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2016

    thank you. I will google them right now!!! Do ypu recommend wired or wirefree?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited August 2016

    I had extra fat on one side and my PS was able to lipo it at the exchange. Also I find the cheapest Walmart sports bras to be the most comfortable. I hope you get the results you like. It is a process, I guess. Gentle hug.


    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SanFranKitty
    SanFranKitty Member Posts: 145
    edited August 2016

    I have heard both wire or wire free from different people. But if wires are hurting you that's not good :(. Try something more gentle.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Clpayton
    Clpayton Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2016

    I'm sure she wasn't. I went n to lane bryant. Thanks for the threaday I will check it out.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • inks
    inks Member Posts: 746
    edited August 2016

    The Lane Bryant may not have been familiar with fitting with breast implants. Here are some good instructions to get you measured correctly if you have implants http://www.herroom.com/measure-bra-size-with-implants,904,30.html . I love their selection in hard to find sizes as well. Another good site for hard to find sizes is http://www.freshpair.com/. and a great UK site that ships to US is http://www.figleaves.com/us/. They all have hard to find sizes and beautiful styles. I have some asymmetry as well after my implant reconstruction and radiation and I find that soft and sports bra type bras look hiddeous on me plus they feel so frumpy. I need a good 3 piece constructed bra or foam padded. Wacoal and Freya are great brands and you can find ones that look good and even sexy too. And if you are measured correctly then you can have an underwire as well. Don't give up yet!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • leftduetostupidmods
    leftduetostupidmods Member Posts: 620
    edited August 2016

    You absolutely need a bra fitter who knows about reconstructed breasts to fit you. Where I live there is no Nordstrom but the girls at Victoria's Secret know all about it. They spent over half an hour with me trying various bras of various brands and sizes to figure out which works the best. Do not go by the regular measurement - the reconstructed breast does not sit in a bra the same way a natural breast does. To give you an example, by regular measurements I should be a 32 I (32 band 42 overbust) but in fact depending on the brand, 34 DD or 32 DDD fits me like it's painted on me. There are only two brands that fit the shape of my new breasts. Also, avoid wire bras and if you must wear one for any reason try no not wear it more than 2 hours - it carries the risk of deforming the reconstructed breast. You shouldn't need a bra, actually, breast reconstruction is done with all kinds of slings that it's like you're wearing an internal bra.

    Ask for any and all touch-ups to the surgery you think you need. The insurance will pay for all within 2 years from the first surgery. I had 4 revisions before I was happy with the way I look. Lipo and fat grafting should fix many problems.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SummerAngel
    SummerAngel Member Posts: 1,006
    edited August 2016

    I often wear underwire bras all day without a problem. I had mine fitted at Nordstrom.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Clpayton
    Clpayton Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2016

    update: I called my PS office today and spoke to his nurse. She scheduled an appt to come in and see him for 9/14. Said that if it's not feeling or looking right then they need to see me and not to be alarmed if we have to go back in and tweak things. She gave me a lot of pointers in finding a bra ( many of the same ones you all have given) and said I don't have to wear one if I don't want to. So. I'm going to go to Von Maur which she said has breast reconstruction bra fitters (we don't have Nordstroms) and see what they come up with. Feeling a bit better...that's ks for all the posts it has all helped me feel better and not so alone.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories