Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

19349359379399401404

Comments

  • termite
    termite Member Posts: 241
    edited August 2016

    Welcom to all the new ladies,

    Sandra, keeping you and your family in my prayers. It was great that you were able to meet minustwo and Jan.

    Di, prayers your way for you health

    Anne, so sorry for you loss. Keeping you and your family in my prayers

    I havent been on for a while but trying to keep up with the post every few day. We had son and his family her this past week. Just found out he has been on medication for depression for a few months now. Not sure what is causing the depression at this time but hopefully he will stay on the medication. Finished finding our diningroom furniture now I have to finish up the living room.

    We met a lot of our new neighbors on our street last week. One of the couples that have been here a little before us invited about 20 people from our street (most of the street is new people). It was great to meet them but I am not good at remembering peoples names.

    I meet my new oncologist on Wednesday. This makes me very nervous.

    Hope everyone has a great week.

  • ElizabethAM
    ElizabethAM Member Posts: 245
    edited August 2016

    My condolences, Anne.

    My thoughts are with you, Sandra. I hope Mike will rebound soon.


  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited August 2016

    Termite, depression is an illness, not a symptom. Occasionally, it can be situatiional (grief, loss, diagnosis of a serious disease, injury, disability, rejection, etc.) but most of the time there is no "cause" other than a chemical imbalance--either an insufficient amount of circulating endorphins in the blood or endorphin receptors in the brain, or something inhibiting those receptors' ability to access the endorphins (mainly serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine). It can start as early as childhood and as late as any time in adulthood (postpartum being the most common in women, aging the most common in men). Instead of searching for a "cause" and possibly second-guessing how it could have been prevented" (there is no way to prevent it), be glad your son has found help. I say this as the daughter of a depressed father, mother of a depressed son, and as a postpartum depression sufferer. Effective treatments weren't available to my dad until his final months of life, but my son (now 31) and I are doing well, courtesy of regular counseling and "better living through chemistry."

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited August 2016

    After 5 major depressive episodes, I have elected to stay on antidepressants. My psych is going to have to pry them out of my cold dead hands. With me, the episodes are not triggered by events, they just come.

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited October 2016

    Elizabeth, Hi and Welcome!!

  • Anneb1149
    Anneb1149 Member Posts: 960
    edited August 2016
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  • Anneb1149
    Anneb1149 Member Posts: 960
    edited August 2016

    This is my younger brother's FAceBook tribute.

    Today, we lost a very special guy, my brother Bill. To say that he was loved by many would be a great understatement. There are so many words to describe him, but I believe the most truthful would be to say he was a kind and loyal gentleman. He was the greatest listener I have ever encountered. I don't believe I ever met anyone who knew him that didn't like him (a lot), or who didn't look forward to be in his company again (and again). A great singer of Irish songs. A brave and proud member of the NYFD. Our Lord undoubtedly knows he has taken from us one of His best works. He was a magnificent older brother who always set a very high bar for me to try to reach. My heart grieves for, and with, his wonderful wife Noreen, his two beautiful children Kathy and Billy, his four Grandsons and my two sisters. He will be sorely missed by so many. God Bless you Bill. You blessed us all with your presence.

    Anne

  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited August 2016

    Anne - thank you for sharing. Wonderful tributes.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    I will not pray that each day be a perfect day, but I will pray not to lapse into indifference.I will not pray that each time I shall build both strong and true; but imperfect, I will pray for impulse that I may build anew. - Elbert Hubbard

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    Thank you Anne,

    He was a very special warm and kind person. How wonderful it must have been, how special to be in and a part of his life while he was being a huge part of al of yours. May everyone keep those beautiful memories forever.

  • bonnets
    bonnets Member Posts: 769
    edited August 2016

    Anne, Just read your brothers Obit. Wish we were going to be home, I wud attend his wake and meet you. Small world. My son-in-law's father undoubtably knew him as he is active in the Goshen Fire dept. We live between Goshen and Middletown and my husband was a long time Goshenite. I know you will miss him.

  • Anneb1149
    Anneb1149 Member Posts: 960
    edited August 2016

    Hi from a very tired sister,

    It is10:30 and we have just gotten home from the viewing. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen (except on TV when somebody important dies). We ( my sister and I) got to the funeral home about 1:40. Shortly after we got there, people started coming...and coming...and coming. The line of people did not have one break from 2-4:45.We were supposed to break at 4:00. We walked to a restaurant and were back to the funeral home by 6:45. Again,the line of people didn't stop. Most of the night, the line went out of the building and all the way around the side of the building. And no one who came claimed to be just a "friend". They were a close friend, a close neighbor, a close co-worker. A group of firemen came in full dress tonight and saluted him. I asked my cousin why some saluted him and others didn't. He said it was just a sign of respect. I think there were supposed to be bagpipes tonight but it was too busy. I cannot count how many hands I shook today. One thing that made it easier for my brother and I was that Billy did not look like Billy. The others had all been there while he declined in health, but even they said it did not look like him. Since he worked at the funeral home for many years, we finally decided they did the best they could. At first, we were saying that he should have been easy for them- they knew him so long, they didn't need a picture to go by. There just wasn't enough left of him to even shape his head right. His son,daughter and their spouses didn't move all day except to leave for dinner. His two high school grandsons stood with their parents the whole time. We took some breaks to sit down, and someone brought in a stool for his wife to sit on, but the rest of the family stood the whole time. Again it was amazing thing I have ever seen.

    Bonnets, if your son-in-laws father knew my brother, he definitely knows my cousin, Jerry Killenberger. He was (or still is) the fire commissioner for Goshen. He is married to the cousin I have mentioned who is more like a sister than a cousin. They are my favorite people.I went to their house for dinner the night after I got here. Actually, I went over to visit and invited myself to dinner.

    I am one overtired and sore puppy. Heading to bed so we can be back to the funeral home by 10am. Gonna be a tough day.

    Anne

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    There is no more searching test of the human spirit than the way it behaves when fortune is adverse and it has to pass through a prolonged period of disappointing failures.Then comes the real proof of the person.Achievement, if one has the ability, is a joy; but to take hard knocks and come up smiling, to have your mainsail blown away and then rig a sheet on the bowsprit and sail on—this is perhaps the deepest test of character. - Harry Emerson Fosdick

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    Anne, I'm so glad you are getting some rest. So glad for the update......sounds like while knowing your brother had always made deep and loving impressions on everyone, that it turned out much bigger than you or maybe anyone thought possible. Sending loving strength to you and the entire family for well being.

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

    - Helen Keller -

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    Don't expect perfection and things to go the way you want them to when it comes to people, business, your prospects, and your social life.When things don't go according to your desires, when the weather of life is foul, be creative and consider what may be the higher reasons why this is happening and why you must adjust.Perhaps it's to gain forbearance, patience, inner strength, flexibility, or the ability to withhold criticism while serving as a loving model. - Michael Goddart

  • ohiofan
    ohiofan Member Posts: 206
    edited August 2016

    Deepest Sympathy, Anne.  Your brother will be truly missed.  What a nicely written obituary.. 


  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    Hard times don't create heroes.
    It is during the hard times when the 'hero' within us is revealed.
    - Bob Riley

    Look well into thyself;
    there is a source of strength which will always spring up
    if thou wilt always look there.
    - Marcus Aurelius

  • sandra4611
    sandra4611 Member Posts: 2,913
    edited August 2016

    Di, it's so good to see you posting again. What an awful time you've had! Sepsis! C-diff! Poor kid. I'm not surprised with a possible MDS diagnosis. Your symptoms have always been similar to Mike's. Let's hope you have a better time of it than he has. Nice memories of our time in Seattle and Alaska. I'm so glad we got to meet and spend time together. Please stay in touch.

    Mike is no better. He still has diarrhea. The paralytic ileus has led to an infection in his gut. Today they stopped the research chemo to see if that is contributing to his decline. They don't think it is, but need to be sure. He continues to waste away and eats nothing. They are reluctant to begin TPN (feeding tube) because it is an avenue for more infection and he has no means to fight anything. He barely talks and doesn't have the energy to raise a cup. He fell again too. Yesterday the decision was made to let me in the room. I have to be in gown, mask, hat, gloves, and shoe covers just like the doctors and nurses. I have to pull Mike up to sitting, lift him to standing, and get him to the bedside commode...quickly! When he has to go, it's right away. I'm trying to keep hoping. It's getting harder.

    My son Ryan began having problems again yesterday so he is coming to Houston tonight too. He and Allison get in about an hour apart. I'm looking forward to seeing them and know they will be glad to not only see their dad, but to go in his room now.

  • ChiSandy
    ChiSandy Member Posts: 12,133
    edited August 2016

    (((Sandra, Mike, & Ryan)))

  • DaraB
    DaraB Member Posts: 945
    edited August 2016

    Same... big hugs Sandra.

  • ElizabethAM
    ElizabethAM Member Posts: 245
    edited August 2016

    Big Hugs Sandra from me too.

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited October 2016

    Sandra and Mike and Family, hugs!

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    I'm keeping the (((((((( hugs )))))))) coming !!!!!!


  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    Truth is not defined by
    how many people believe something.
    Ask. Question. Think.
    Decide - for yourself.
    - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited August 2016

    More hugs here (((((((Sandra, Mike & Family)))))))

  • Jo6202
    Jo6202 Member Posts: 372
    edited August 2016

    Wren, good to see you are still out there. I don't post as much anymore but still read to keep up on what is going on.

    Jo

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a person who won't cheat, then you know you never will. -John MacDonald

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited August 2016

    Morning gals.... I know I don't post very often, but I read what is going on all the time.... So sorry Sandra.... Just hang in there kid.... It's just un-imaginable what we have to go through sometimes....

    And Anne.... sounds like a beautiful funeral.... At least we can know that their suffering is all over... It was kind of a relief for me, knowing that my Grandma wouldn't be "cold" anymore, even without me keeping her leg-warmers on her.... with Mom.... so much pain! But we sang "You are my Sunshine" to her.... knowing, we thought, that she could hear us.... With Dad... I just wanted to talk to him until he went to his eternal sleep. I whispered to him that it was okay to "let go".... that Mom was waiting, and I would go back to his house, and see him in the morning....

    When I got to his home, they called, and said Dad had passed away..... It's never easy.... but at least I had my time alone with him, combing his hair, and telling him how much fun we had growing up. We all get our time..... it's just so hard on the ones left.....

    Thinking of you all..... And Jackie.... You are the most loyal, stead-fast woman I know! YOU take care of yourself now.... xoxoxo

  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited August 2016

    Love that avatar, Chevy. I'm so glad you came today. It seems ( they just seem to pop up when not expected so often ) that we do go through times when their is illness going on for many. I don't know if I mentioned to anyone here that my cousin just passed on from pancreatic cancer, and my ex-husband is in hospice ( not long to go I'm sure ) from lung and kidney cancer. We were extremely fortunate to be able to remain friends through the yrs. I'm sad that it comes to this, but we don't get to choose.

    Just underlines the importance of making the most of the time we have with those we cherish.


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