Auditioning New Oncologists

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MaineRottweilers
MaineRottweilers Member Posts: 156
edited August 2016 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

Arg! My fabulous oncologist just told me that he's moving on. We are both really sad about it, we have a great relationship, but he has a fabulous opportunity and I don't want him to feel guilty about this change.

I would like to give him a gift, nothing extravagant but something meaningful. Any suggestions?

Now, the real problem. How do I search out a new oncologist? If I have to change, I do not wish to just settle for his replacement. What questions should I ask? What qualifications would you search out? I need a little help getting started. I did ask my MO who HE would take his wife to so I guess that's a starting place but I am going to audition a few before selecting. This is nerve wracking. Things were going so well.

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited August 2016

    Hi Maine, Sorry you are losing the Onc that you love, that stinks! I still don't have that warm and fuzzy relationship I crave. She is OK but I just don't get the feeling that she is truly invested in my well being. Then again I a fairly new at all of this so many I am just needy? Anyway, in my case, the first thing I would look for is a expert in BREAST oncology. Mine is not, as I am from a pretty small town. So sometimes I question how up to date she is on MBC.....good luck on your search.

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  • Kandy
    Kandy Member Posts: 1,461
    edited August 2016

    So sorry you are losing your oncologist, that is nerve wrecking. I would agree that you should look for a breast specialist. Besides that, I think it is very individualized as to rather it is a match. Think about what is important to you and ask his opinions on it. See if y'all match. Such as, how aggressive is he or she. How often do they scan, do they draw tumor markers. Things like that. I would like to give you my opinion of someone asking a physician something with comparison to their wife. I have a long history of medical background, so I guess this is more than my opinion. Physicians get questioned all the time with this comparison. They actually despise it, and most are offended by it. It implies that they would treat their wife or family differently. Most physicians really care about their patients and do the best they can for each one. Just a thought. I wish you the best on your hunt for a new one.

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  • Tigwin
    Tigwin Member Posts: 275
    edited August 2016

    sorry you are losing your oncologist. I currently take a two hour train ride and then Uber 30 minutes to see my oncologist. I would not trade her for any other oncologist. She is the best out there in breast cancer in Southern California. My thought is, this person is saving my life, I don't care how far I have to train, über or drive, it is worth it. Good luck, don't settle till you find the one you know is the one you trust with getting you well


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  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited August 2016

    I lost my oncologist this year (he moved on also). Broke my heart. I have been with that doc for 12 years! The city /practice I am at is trying to have each oncologist specialize in specific cancers. So there are 2 docs. I was assigned the Doc who started the practice. Older. Very knowledgeable, but I do not click with him WHATSOEVER,

    I am at a loss right now if I leave the practice (I was given warnings from other patients do not go to the other doc available ) So do I go to the guy with all of the experience and start looking? I don't have a lot of options in our city and I won't drive 2.5 hours for treatment/docs. I like the cancer center itself and my new ORTho Oncologist is the bomb!

    Good luck.


    oh, I didn't do a gift or letter. He is still in the office, just doing hematology patients and clinical trials. A would think a letter or card would not be out of place.


    Janis

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  • Lynnwood1960
    Lynnwood1960 Member Posts: 1,284
    edited August 2016

    My onc left at the end of this month, I have had her for 8 years. I do not want to leave the practice, I know all the nurses, lab techs and office staff and they are all great. I made an appointment with one of her associates in the practice. I wanted a woman doctor. I have made a list of questions for when I see her next week. Some of them include the following...what is your philosophy on the future of MBC treatment, employment while on treatment, pain management, physical limitations, frequency of scans and office visits, and bloodwork, supplements, opinions on statistics on life expectancy, and how quickly do you call with test/scan results. I am considering this as an interview and based on these answers, I will know if she's a fit.

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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited August 2016

    Tracy,

    I am sorry you are losing your onc. I was in danger of losing mine several months ago, but I followed him to his other practice. The office was only 5 minutes farther than the previous location, so the commute was not an issue. I have a good relationship with my MO and hope he stays for a long time. I do miss my infusion nurse. She was wonderful. I always felt like I was being enveloped by a warm hug when she saw me coming down the hall. I am getting used to the nurse at the new center, but still....

    Deb has some good suggestions for questions. The only thing I would add is that you should make sure that your expectations and your potential new onc's mesh. By that I mean things like is there anything that would make you want to stop treatment. I talked to my mo a while ago to let him know that I expect him to tell me if I reach the point when treatments will no longer be effective. I will still have the choice to stop or continue, but at least I will make an informed decision.

    I think that the interview process will be beneficial, but you really won't know if the choice is the correct one until you have been his or her patient for a while. There is always the unexpected. If you decide you are not as compatible as you had hoped, you can always find someone else. You are the boss.

    Good luck.

    Lynne

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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited August 2016

    One other thing. The choice of a gift can be difficult. I recently read a post from someone about gifts. She had given a donation to a local cancer organization in her MO's name. He was appreciative. There are organizations that help with research, assist cancer patients experiencing financial hardships, provide house cleaning services when a patient needs help, delivers meals, and on and on and on. You would have to do some research to make sure the money is used effectively. Otherwise, a nice note of appreciation can be heart-warming and can be a welcome gift.


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