Do you buy clothes, furniture, plan for the future?

Boy, do I ever! I didn't even want to buy a new pair of shoes - just seemed like such a waste. I wondered why my plastic surgeon would take the time to do my reconstruction - why should he expend the energy? I hesitated to book our vacations more than a couple of months in advance - why would my poor widowed husband want to go by himself? You know the story...

Now from my vantage point of 10 years, I do allow myself to look a year or so ahead - and am even humoring my husband when he talks about retirement. Being superstitious, though, I'm still convinced that he will probably outlast me!

All my best wishes as you move through the many phases of recovery -

Julie

I am stage IV and have been so since shortly after original dx. I only hesitated to "live" for about 5 minutes. Then I thought f** you cancer and proceeded to live my life with joy. It's been 5 years and I'm still not dead 😜. My only advice is to buy travel nsurance that covers pre-existing conditions. Don't put your foot in the grave even one minute before you have to. Now, go treat yourself to something that makes you happy

I will be 5 years out in October. My sister, Stage 3 also, is almost one year out. We just had this conversation the other day. She asked me your same question.

I am JUST NOW able to plan a little more, buy a little more, plan vacations etc. It took me a long, long time. HOWEVER, I was able to buy a new couch almost immediately after chemo. I spent so much time on that couch I could not stand looking at it!!

IIIA here. I have spent my entire life living to the max. That has not changed. I did have two very rough patches, first when I found out I was upstaged from IIB to IIIA right after surgery and second, when I read the pathology report and saw that my initial grade from the biopsy listed as grade 2 had been revised on surgical path to grade 3.

My theory is that I could get hit by a bus tomorrow or I could be around for 40 years. If I am around for 40 years, I would be pretty mad if I got that far only to realize that I had spent the entire time waiting to die instead of living.

If you stop doing things or buying things that brings you happiness, if you put living on hold, then bc wins. If you keep living with joy, until you absolutely can't, then you have triumphed. That doesn't mean you can't have down periods or be overwhelmed by the stuff that comes along with bc, butwhy stop living before you have to? I have had a rich and fulfilling 5 years and plan to keep going. What's really sad is to imagine all the wonderful things I would have missed if I stopped living when I was dx'ed

Breast cancer has stolen bits of my body, but I refuse to let it steal my heart, mind and soul.

My doctors all assure me I am not going to be dying of breast cancer any time soon. I'm either IIB or IIIA, but I guess I'll never know for sure because I've had neoadjuvant chemo.


But, I could die tomorrow of something else.


I've taken the view for the last five or so years that when I do die, I don't want to leave my family with all my stuff to do deal with, and for that reason amongst many others I became a minimalist (well, a work in progress). I only buy what is going to make our lives better, not just for the sake of it. Nothing's changing now. I'll live my life and enjoy it, and I enjoy it much more without a house full of stuff I don't need!

One of my doctors the other day also told me (in regards to drinking wine) "we're not saving your life for you not live and enjoy it!"

Jojobird,

It's easy to have a fatalist attitude but like Caryn said, then cancer wins so I have and continue to make long-term plans. My latest is putting in a swimming pool. I hope to be around a dozen years to enjoy it, only time will tell. But when the day comes that i know I'm on my last leg, I don't want to look back and realize I stopped living by not looking to the future. I want to look back and think, I'm glad I made these memories and had hope for the future, so please don't let cancer steal what life you have.

Amy

I'm going through the same thing. I'm not sure if I should be planning my future or my funeral! My husband gets upset when I express my fears. My doctors just say "live for today, enjoy everyday you have." Yet every ache or pain I have, causes me to fear the return of cancer. I also am stage 3c, grade three...

So I do understand how you feel.

I said the heck with it and went out, bought a fifth wheel and plan spend as much time as I can with my husband and children. Beachfront on the weekends! I'm not going to wait till it's to late and say I wish I had! Try and enjoy your life. Create memories, we all have uncertain futures, with or with out cancer.

Definitely I felt this way. I am now 6 years out from diagnosis, and when I think about longterm plans, like my retirement, there's still always that "if" in the back of my mind. But at some point, I stopped letting that "if" hold me back from doing things. At age 49 and 5 years out, I started training for a more specialized profession - something I've wanted to do for a long time.

About the clothes, I'd say hold off or buy something cheap right now, unless the chemo hasn't affected your weight at all. Furniture? Depends on your finances. I myself was far too sick during chemo to have any interest in talking about buying furniture, but if that's not you and you have the money, why not consider it?

In 2004 I bought a really cool, hot car--a metallic gray Porsche--and took out a five year loan. I looked at the loan application where it said it would be paid off in September of 2009 and I thought, ha ha! My husband is going to get stuck with the last few years of payments because I can't possibly last til 2009. Hope he likes the car.

I still have the car, paid off for so many years I can't remember the monthly payments. It has taken me up and down the winding mountain roads around here, handles so well on tight curves. It has bailed me out of a couple of tight spots like the time the guy turned in front of me going the wrong way on a one way street and I grabbed the steering wheel and did an amazing quick maneuver and missed him. I have never been stuck in him, even in the snow and mud. I'm a realtor and have taken him bravely to many a construction site without getting mired in mud. He has carried hundreds of home buyers around to dozens of counties and has lots of miles under his belt.

I have cried in him, screamed in him with the windows rolled up, and thrown up in him a couple of times. He has been thru several sets of tires and little else. However, he is starting to show his age. There was the really bad hail storm a couple of summers ago, hail the size of golf balls pretty well banged him up. I eat lunch in him every day and there is a collection of frightening food items between the driver's seat and the console.There was the day I carted my microwave to the repair place and ripped the leather seat getting the oven out, but at 12 years old, he still gives me a cool feeling when I crank him up and feel his throaty growl, and zip him thru the gears until we are going really really fast, low to the ground, stable, heavy, handling solid, like a Formula One car.

,

Love your story weesa! Just picked up my golf, not quite a Porsche, but onwards and upwards 😀

My birthday was a few weeks after my bmx. My family bought me an iPad as a recovery/birthday gift. As my older dd was pregnant with my first grandchild, I went on an Internet baby clothing shopping spree. Boy, was that fun and that baby is now a 4 year old delight

There should be a "like" button here. I love the stories of hope restored.

I was diagnosed before my DIL became pregnant. My granddaughter turns three TODAY and my grandson is one. Blessings I did not know I would see. God is good.

Ladies,

Beautiful children! Besides my 4 year old granddaughter, I also have a 3 month old grandson. If I died tomorrow, the time I have had with my grandbabies has been the best thing ever. Of course, I have no intention of dying anytime soon 😊

Last winter I brought my kids out for an early dinner Valentine's Day weekend, of course there were many couples, maybe 20 years older than me out celebrating. I instantly thought I will never make it to 60, let alone 65 or 70, and started tearing up, trying not to cry in front of my children.

I haven't bought anything, or traveled. I'm still under treatment. I still save for retirement. I have been going through the purging of the clothes that I never wear, or just don't want anymore. I want as little clutter as possible, but I've always been that way. My house needs improvements, but as the primary breadwinner, I worry that if something happens, it will be after my life insurance expires in 10 years, leaving my family in a lurch with a mortgage and other bills.

Then I read posts like wessa's story about her Porche and I'm ready to say, "Screw it!"