Having a scan? Waiting on results? The waiting room is open!

Picked up the report from my CT scan at lunchtime. Everything is STABLE!

Having bone scan on Friday.

(BTW, for the first time ever, the barium "milkshake" caused major gas and explosive diarrhea. I made it to the clinic restroom in time after the scan, but wow--what a mess I had to try to clean up.)

Stable is great. HOW AWESOME.

>Z<

To clarify, "stable" for me indicates NED. The mets in my lungs show on the scan, but haven't changed significantly in years. There's a thoracic issue that's probably COPD and a several cysts in my liver and kidneys. The last sentence states "No identifiable metastatic disease or recurrent neoplasm."

I'll take it!

Tina

hang in there singlemom. be ready for the possibility of an ambiguous report that takes a few weeks to sort out. seems quite common. let us know how it goes ..

>Z<

holding you close to my heart.

Brenda E

Great news Tina! Woohoo, Here's a Happy Dance for you! (Although sorry about the desperate rush to the bathroom.....that must have been a heart pounding event.Now that it is over and you have a chance to BREATHE, Go celebrate!

Great post Z, you are such a positive influence. I agree with everything you said.

tuckersmimi, I definitely felt shelled shocked by my Dx and definite PTSD which still has lingering symptoms. Random things can send me into a tailspin. Including some bad medical reports I have had so far. But then I regroup and dust myself off. There really is no other choice if you want to live well during this time. This is the best place to come and get information and support. Most times just reading others experiences and how they cope helps me calm down tremendously.

As Z says, it is a different era than just a few years ago. I have many friends and acquaintances who are amazed at how well I am doing a year later on just AI drugs. There are many more in the pipeline. As hard as I know it is, I feel 100% better when I try and take it one day at time. I stay busy and try to do fun things to keep my mind occupied which helps immensely. I know a time will come when things get more difficult and I hope I am able to adapt. For now I am grateful for being mobile and able bodied. I hope your scans go well too. From some of the things you said, it does not sound like anything earth shattering will happen. As far as chest discomfort, I can tell you from experience that stress alone can cause chest pains that mimic heart trouble. I hope all of this is true. Best luck to you and please check back to let us know how you are doing.

RonnieKay, I have had a history of shortness of breath problems and chest pains. I think it all started in pre-menopause. I have had a couple of echos when I too wondered if I was having a heart attack, but it was always called "anxiety". It also took me a long time but it is slowly subsiding. Nothing like a bigger problem to take your mind off of the previous one right!? Haha! Wow, 11 months seems like a good stretch without a scan, but I think I would lean on the side of the Dr. on that one, as we all know that scans aren't good for us either. Just curious but what treatment are you on now? Last night we went to a James Taylor concert which brought me great happiness! One of my favorite things to do is a live concert.

Artist and RonnieKay - I've had anxiety attacks since I was pregnant with my first son..... I used to wake up in the night gasping for air and convinced I was dying. OR Id be driving and out of the blue - same thing. No rhyme or reason as to why I would have them...I am sure subcounscious stress working it's way out. When I have mine all the air literally leaves my windpipes... it's like my heart stops for several beats and then goes again, and suddenly my lungs realize there is no air. It's terrible.  Anyway - just wanted to add my two cents on the whole topic. I still get them (OBVIOUSLY) but no more frequently than I used to. And wow RonnieKay - I find it amazing that your doctor said you don't have to be scanned. I'm sort of jealous! I am still getting CT and Bone every six months, although I have also been stable for 3.5 years and TM's are always in normal range. Maybe I should talk to my oncologist about that. My next one is in September.

Love and hugs to both of you and to everyone else here!

XOXO

Andi

Artist- James Taylor AND Sting? Wowzers! I have loved Sting since the Dream of the Blue Turtle days. I'm sure I was the only 12 year old rocking out to Moon over Bourbon Street! I saw him once solo and once with The Police. Wish I would have spring for the Sting/Peter Gabriel tickets. I bet it was fantastic!

My favorite Pandora station is my Carol King station. It's heavy on JT and Fleetwood Mac and CCR. I think I live permanently in the 70's/80's!

Just scheduled my August scans (CT, bone, echo) and suddenly feeling uneasy. The area where I had a hip met has been reminding me that it is there...not really pain just a small ache off and on. I've been trying to exercise more, so I'm blaming it on that. TMs are still low, so expecting good news from scans, and trying to squash the little voice in my head that says "but what if...?".

Best wishes to all who are waiting...

May 18, 2016 08:10PM NineTwelve wrote:

Hi everyone. I haven't posted in a while, because my family situation blew up, in a big way. Currently my mom is in hospice, after her stroke. My dad, brother, and I go visit her daily, though she can't speak or swallow. It's horrible to watch, but it's what she wanted. She insisted on the feeding tube. She really wants to keep going. I don't understand it, but it is her will.

I had a new PET scan yesterday and I will get the results on Friday. I really feel like my cancer is back, and I can't shake the feeling.

Hello, again. I posted the above back in May when I had my PET scan. My oncologist wasn't worried when we got the results, showing activity in the main tumor sites (right breast and armpit), but he referred me for a new mammogram and sonogram. With everything going on in my family, and no one to remind me, I forgot about the mammo. Two months later, my oncologist's nurse called me to say where were those mammogram results? I had to say, no one called me to schedule, and I just forgot about it.

I thought the PET scan showed everything still stable... Fast forward to this morning...

Today was my mammogram and sonogram. The radiologist said it looks like there is a tumor on the chest wall, under the primary tumor, which is why it wasn't seen on the PET.

I don't know what to do now. I guess my oncologist will call me?

what happens now?

Thanks, artistatheart. I just got off the phone with my oncologist. Progression. We are switching to Ibrance (which he calls "Imbrance") and Faslodex. Still no question of surgery; he ruled that out. It's just as well, though, because I have no one to help me through the recovery. And I need my work, because it keeps me from spinning those worry wheels. It keeps me distracted. Helps me feel like I'm valued.

I am more calm now, though the tears are falling. I am numb.

Funny how you don't just get the bad news once, with this disease. You get to do it over and over. Fun times.

Gang, I have a question--does anyone else get anxiety for the month or so leading up to their tests? In some ways, I wish I'd had a mastectomy just to end this hell. My mammogram is tomorrow, and an MRI in a month. I feel like these tests ruin my summer, and I have to medicate myself with Xanax just to muddle through. It is sheer misery. Today is a wash, I am shaking, feel sick to my stomach, and have to force myself out the door for meetings.

I was a Stage 1 node-neg patient, but I was young, so I always feel like the axe will fall.

I just wonder if I should be seeking more in terms of counseling and medication. This is ridiculous and such a robber of my time.

Edited to add: I will be six years out this summer.

Hi zarovka, thank you for the words of support. I've been spending hours poring over the Ibrance and Faslodex (and the Ibrance & Faslodex) threads. I feel better today. (Fuck you, Cancer, I'm not dead yet.)

I have the book you mentioned. I'm also getting some help from the book Breast Cancer: 50 Essential Things to Do. Something that really resonates, as I deal with my helpless dysfunctional parents, is the foreword, written by Dr. Christine Northrop. She describes the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) study, that concluded unmet childhood needs set the stage for future illnesses. She goes on to quote Lewis Thomas, "I have come to believe that cancer is the physical metaphor for the extreme need to grow."

Maybe that's a topic for a separate thread - because things can get pretty heated when we start talking about cancer as a metaphor (journey, war, wake-up call, etc). So I won't go there. It means different things to us at different times, I guess.

One thing that's not controversial: without this forum I would be so lost. Thank you all, again. I can never say that enough times.

NineTwelve - Funny that you should mention that relationship between your childhood emotional "journey" (forgive me) and cancer. I am sure that many people on this forum had wonderful parents and still ended up with cancer. However, that very emotional post-diagnosis period brought up a lot parental issues for me. I had about 25 sessions with a coach/therapist/spiritual guide during that period to work through it. Certainly the cancer feels like a metaphor for a lot of pain and disfunction that I need to get rid of.

When the side effects of my treatment aren't getting me down, I find myself oddly happy these days. Today I spent the afternoon biking around after pokemon and giggling with my daughter. I ran into someone concerned about my cancer, and I had the strange feeling of not being serious or concerned enough in the face of their sincere concern for me.

I believe that this odd happiness is a result of taking advantage of that extremely emotional time to access and release some fears and experience that normally are not available to me. You seem to have some awareness of emotions and pains. You might do well to work through the relationship, metaphorical or otherwise between the cancer and your personal history. At a minimum I feel free of a lot of emotional pain as result of that process and that has got to help with my healing. It is one of these strange opportunities that the cancer experience provides. In any case, I encourage you to pull the thread on that insight you had Lewis Thomas's words.

>Z<

Good luck on your scan today, gramen. Sounds like you're making the most of your life right now, even with all the worry and - wow - a scan every six weeks! I guess I could get used to that, but it blows my mind. The courage I see here really inspires me.

Yes, now is the time for treatment to kick that cancer to the curb!