How much to say to loved ones? Unnecessary worry?

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Peppa1210
Peppa1210 Member Posts: 11
edited July 2016 in Waiting for Test Results

I am currently waiting an appointment with my BS for a biopsy and have become increasingly concerned since I last told my parents/family about this lump I found. All of this began with visits to find out why I have been so fatigued and nauseated and experiencing a plethora of other strange symtpoms. Since my last obgyn appointment I have gotten sicker and sicker, going from an active young adult to a sore, tired and unable to take care of my daughter. I am very concerned because of the additional swollen nodes I found in my neck and under arms as well as excruciating back and arm pain.

I feel like I am falling apart.

I want to tell my family how worried I am but I feel bad about worrying them too if it is something else.. any input or personal experience?

Comments

  • PattyK52
    PattyK52 Member Posts: 7
    edited July 2016

    When I was told I had invasive breast cancer after my biopsy I seemed to have all kinds of symptoms! My MRI saw several spots so I quickly decided I wanted a mastectomy. I had the mastectomy, which honestly to me wasn't horrible. I went back to work a week later. When they got the pathology back afterwards, they found no cancer, it was all taken out with the biopsy! I am just saying, I think when you start worrying you feel all kinds of symptoms that are most likely nothing. I would wait on telling anyone.

  • marie5890
    marie5890 Member Posts: 3,594
    edited July 2016

    Since nothing has shown up on imaging thus far, and you haven't had a biopsy yet, I wouldn't say anything. Most biopsies, especially when nothing is seen on imaging, usually are nothing.

    Don't put the cart in front of the horse. Do things in an orderly and logical manner.

  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited July 2016

    Hi!

    I told my husband about my worries but no one else in my family until I discussed my plan of treatment with my surgeon. Once it was confirmed that I had BC and I had a plan, I felt like I could let my immediate family know what was going on. That was also when I informed my boss and made arrangements at work to reduce some of my responsibilities.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly. It might be BC; it might not. In the meantime, you may want to ask your doctor about anxiety meds. I have Ativan on hand to help me get through stressful times. I just have it handy; I don't take it very often.

    Best wishes! I hope your doctors find out what's going on soon.

  • Hopefloatsinyyc
    Hopefloatsinyyc Member Posts: 211
    edited July 2016

    lean on everyone here until you have a firm diagnosis... That would be my recco. Cancer is such a scary and helpless word for so many- that worrying about worrying others made me stressed!! As if waiting for a DX wasn't bad enough! When the time came where I knew enough information about what I was facing, I shared with those I loved.

  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited July 2016

    When I found out that I needed a biopsy I only told my husband. I did not discuss my cancer diagnosis with anyone else until I had met with my breast surgeon and had a plan in place. I think this was kinder to my kids and my elderly mother. They were concerned, of course, but I was able to reassure them that I was not going to die. I told them that the next year was going to suck--and it has--but that I was going to do my best to be okay.

    Please continue to come here. We understand your fears better than just about anyone else right now. If you find out that you do have breast cancer, well, then you do and you will deal with it, whatever your treatment plan requires.

  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited July 2016

    I hope the biopsy can be scheduled ASAP. Waiting for appts., is the worst.

    If you can get anti-anxiety meds, go for it. I waited for 6 months, I felt I could tough it out. Big mistake.

    This website is a lifesaver, you can rant and be honest. Be kind to yourself, ask for help if you need it with your child. I did not talk to anyone about my biopsy until I got my results. Well, my hubby knew.

  • AmazonCatwoman
    AmazonCatwoman Member Posts: 36
    edited July 2016

    I am awaiting an appt with a breast surgeon as well and am still in the diagnostic process. I told my mom about the first hard area I found but did not give her any details and have not told her about the newest concerns in that same breast. I told my boyfriend about the first and second hard masses and had him feel them and look at them because they are both now visible. I have not pointed out a couple other changes in my breast. He knows about periodic piercing pain though because it was so bad that I reacted really obviously to it. I have also not told him anything I've read about BC or my breast changes in particular. The only person I have shared with in more detail is another woman I know in her 20's who is a 5 year BC survivor and that only came about because I wanted to know if she had any experience with the breast surgeon I was referred to. I don't want to worry my family or my boyfriend unecessarily. My mom only needs to know the basics because she is my mom and I love her and just can't keep this from her entirely and my boyfriend who I live with just a little more to support me and understand a little better why I may be more anxious and emotional during this wait. I don't want anybody worrying more than they need to. That wouldn't be good for them or me. When I have for sure answers about what is or isn't going on, then will share that information with them.

  • Peppa1210
    Peppa1210 Member Posts: 11
    edited July 2016

    This is such great advice. Thanks so much. I have calmed.down a little. My appt.woth BS is not until 7-27 so I'm just keeping busy ':)

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