My wife was just diagnosed.

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Swami7774
Swami7774 Member Posts: 24
edited July 2016 in Just Diagnosed

I'm sorry if I can't add much to this broad right now but I and my family have just gotten the devastating news. No real details yet; we're going to see an oncologist later today.

I just don't know where to turn. Please forgive me barging in.

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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited July 2016

    Swami,

    I am sorry to hear that your wife and family have to go through this. Once you meet with the oncologist, you may feel more reassured about your wife's future. Breast cancer is very treatable; unless your wife was diagnosed at Stage IV, her prognosis may be quite good. Moreover, even if she is Stage IV, her cancer may be "contained" for several years.

    You are not barging in. Everyone is welcome to post on these message boards, even if it is just to vent or get things off your chest. ((Hugs))

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  • Scwilly
    Scwilly Member Posts: 489
    edited July 2016

    Swami

    I would like to add my support for you and your wife. This is definitely the worst time. Just being diagnosed is so awful. I remember the horrible fear and being overwhelmed with what had just happened when I was first diagnosed. I haven't ever cried as much before or since. It does get better. Once there is more information, once her treatment plan has been defined you will definitely all feel much better and begin to see how your can get through this time. I am 2.5 years out and feeling so much better, through all my treatment and back to almost normal.

    This is such a wonderful resource and you will find lots of advice and people who support you. There is a topic for husbands whose spouse has been diagnosed where you will find others who are or have been in your position. Check out the All topics tab.

    You will also find a great wealth of information all over the site, and should not feel you are 'barging in' - you are welcome everywhere.

    Let us know how you and your wife are getting on.

    best wishes

    Sarah

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  • grainne
    grainne Member Posts: 245
    edited July 2016

    this is where you turn to. We know exactly how you feel. At the minute, you don't really know very much. There is a huge spectrum of breast cancer and it will take at least a couple of weeks until you know what you are dealing with. Some types have an excellent prognosis. I haven't heard of anything that isn't treatable in some way, even just by way of containment. It will take you both many months to get used to this . There are threads on this site for every type and stage of breast cancer and some really knowledgeable women who are happy to answer the questions you forget to ask the medics. We all know the initial reaction of disbelief and sheer terror. . Please keep posting. Every good luck to you both.

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  • Swami7774
    Swami7774 Member Posts: 24
    edited July 2016

    I'm in tears just reading all of your wonderful notes.

    We're meeting in a few minutes with a breast care doctor at Sourh Shore Hospital (near Boston), and Monday we're getting a 2nd opinion at Mass General.

    I feel like we're stuck inside a nightmare that won't end

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited July 2016

    Swami,

    We too are so sorry to hear of your wife's diagnosis, but you surely came to the right place for support, answers, and advice. Please keep us posted on the information you find out about the diagnosis, and we'll all be here to help you and your wife through!

    --The Mods

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  • Denise-G
    Denise-G Member Posts: 1,777
    edited July 2016

    I am very sorry. It is all so overwhelming and so frightening. Once you have a plan in place and know what your wife is dealing with, it does get easier. Sending all the best to you and your family!


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  • grainne
    grainne Member Posts: 245
    edited July 2016

    we are watching and waiting with you both.

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  • LoveMyFamily
    LoveMyFamily Member Posts: 58
    edited July 2016

    it's devasting to have a cancer diagnosis in the family... hope you get good news from your doctors, i.e. that it's treatable. Hang in there!

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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited July 2016

    Sounds like you're on the right track already, getting two opinions about your wife's diagnosis. Take care!

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  • Sjacobs146
    Sjacobs146 Member Posts: 770
    edited July 2016

    Swami, do not be too afraid. The good news about Breast Cancer is that it is very treatable. Most likely this wil be a small bump in the road and your wife will be with you for many years.

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  • Scwilly
    Scwilly Member Posts: 489
    edited July 2016

    I just wanted to add. These first days are for finding out all about your wifes diagnosis, but dont panic if it feels you are moving slowly. I had dx of an agressive atage 3 cancer and was desparate to get on with treatment, and was worried about the wait for chemo. My surgeon reassured me that it was ok and that they would be keeping me busy with tests/scans to see exactly what was happening. Also, many of us look to anti-anxiety meds to help get through this time, or try to keep distracted - walks, movies, meals out. Avoid being drawn too much to Dr Google! There is a lot of bad information out there. This site has lots of good knowledge. Two consults should also help your wife choose doctors with confidence.

    Sarah

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