family not talking about it to me

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silviah
silviah Member Posts: 46
edited July 2016 in Family and Family Planning Matters

I had a modified radical MX on my left, which included lymph node dissection on June 24th. We are still waiting on results.

I know everyone deals with things in different ways, but my husband's family is "ostriching" my diagnosis and possible treatment. I am the type of person that reaches out to people to see if they might need anything or just to let them know I am here if they need an ear or shoulder. I think his family thinks if they don't talk about it, it will all be ok. My husband has even prepared a BBQ for today - so I have to entertain his family a week after my surgery.

Is it normal not to reach out to someone??? I am just about over it.

Right now, since we don't have a course of treatment, I have asked my family and his not to tell others. I kinda figure since I have no control over this disease, I can at least try and control who knows. I especially don't want it on Facebook. Or should I say "Fakebook". I hate that I have to ask - but seems people want to make this more about them than about me.

I also understand that they are going through this as well - but I just wish they would give me the courtesy to do what I ask. I sound so bitter when I read this back, but, sadly, this is it right now.




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  • mustlovepoodles
    mustlovepoodles Member Posts: 2,825
    edited July 2016

    perhaps they think you don't want to talk about it, since you told them not to tell anyone. Or maybe they don't know what to say. I have 4 siblings. In the past year only two of them have reached out to me, once each. I don't hold it against them. They're scared. Scared for me, scared for themselves. Theyre afraid theyll upset me. They're afraid it could happen to them. I just offer it up, sometimes, to let them know I'm still okay.

    I agree with you about Facebook. I kept it off Facebook entirely. I didn't want to be the object of idle gossip.

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  • silviah
    silviah Member Posts: 46
    edited July 2016

    I think they don't know what to say...to me. But they have no problem telling anyone else. I can't hold it against them....I agree. I'm sure they are scared too.

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  • Clauclau
    Clauclau Member Posts: 88
    edited July 2016

    I Hear you!

    I reached out to few of my best friends and decided to omit from public and definitely no FB! I later found out that the hairdresser was gossiping with ANYONE who was getting a hair cut about my situation. I got so mad! It's such a delicate moment in MY life that I decided to vent out on FB about relationship, trust, betrayal, and lack of forgiveness... To make a long story short, the hairdresser got the message through others, I deleted her from my FB friends and everyone that heard from me is walking in eggshells with new.

    And that's how I took over MY story...Lol

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