Diagnosed on 513/16 and getting married 6/12/2016

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Maegtexas
Maegtexas Member Posts: 8
edited July 2016 in Just Diagnosed

Hello!

I'll begin with my short journey so far- on Wednesday 5/12 I felt a lump and had my first appointment with OBGYN on 5/14. She explained that the hard and painless lump I was feeling was a cyst but that she would send me for an ultrasound. On 5/13 I had an ultrasound, aspiration, and biopsy. The doctor and nurse kept telling me not to lose sleep because I didn't have a family history and I am only 26. I was told the results would come in today (5/19) but I got the call yesterday that it is cancer.

Today I had a surgical appointment and was given a few options. Chemo and then lumpectomy or mastectomy and radiation. I'm getting married 24 days from today and I told the doctor I just want to be able to walk down the aisle and mentally be fully present on this day.

They are recommending chemo first to shrink the tumor. The doctor said that most people don't experience major symptoms (nausea, hair loss, etc) during the first round and that I should be fine by wedding time if I get in before then.

Can anyone please tell me how their experience was first undergoing chemotherapy? I know many may be thinking it's dumb to worry about my wedding when I'm fighting cancer but right now it's the only positive thing I'm looking forward to and I really want that day to be about my nuptial, NOT my illness. We are going to cancel our honeymoon, I would just like one night where I can enjoy myself before I really get into the thick of things.

Thank you in advance for all of your help!

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  • Scwilly
    Scwilly Member Posts: 489
    edited May 2016

    I am so sorry you have joined us here, BC is such a indiscrimate disease and does not look at our calendars or take notice that you are so young. You have joined a very supported group of women and men who can advise you for all sorts of questions you might have, or even just be there to support you through this.

    I was DX at the beginning of November 2013, and had my first chemo 14 days afterwards. I was concerned and wanted chemo asap preferably the next day as my dx was stage 3 IBC, but the doctors assured me this was fine and they kept me busy with scans, heart tests etc. I have 4 doses of AC (Adriamycin/doxorubicin and Cyclophosphamide) every 2 weeks. For me the symptoms did increase each dose - and the 3rd and 4th courses made me much more tired. I strongly recommend taking side effect drugs. I had Emend (which you take the morning before chemo and then for two days) and Zofran (Ondansetron) for around 5 days as required, both for nausea. I didn't feel nauseous and was never sick. The only time I had slight nausea was when I stopped Zofran early, I didnt do that again. I also had Nuprogen shots, one a day for 5 days after each chemo. These were to boost my white blood counts.

    Sleep and getting some fresh air are also essential to get you through this. Also - get all the help you are offered as this is the time to be the center of attention (as much as you would like that is)

    I had my first chemo on November 18th, and my hair started to come out on November 29th. I remember the date as I was in the carpark of my sons school waving him off on the school bus to travel to Clovis to run in the California State XC meet. I just pulled through my hair and some came out. We joined him later that day, and whilst I was worried it would all fallout quickly, I didnt get much more unless I pulled. So it was 11 days from my first chemo. I didnt find my hair came out quickly, and I didnt need to wear a wig/head-covering for at least a week. I know others say it takes until after their second chemo.

    Its hard to say how you will feel, as everyone reacts differently. Your attitude will help you through your day, and I would say the first week of treatment is the worse and you will feel so much better the second week ( I even went skiing for 4 days just before my last dose) Timing your treatment to be at least a week before your wedding will give you the best chance of feeling well on the day.

    Congratulations on your upcoming Nuptials!

    Sarah


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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited May 2016

    Maegtexas,

    Sorry you find yourself here, especially at such a young age and right before your wedding. I did chemo first, and it wiped out my lump and the cancer in one compromised lymph node. As a result, I was able to get a lumpectomy and avoid mastectomy/reconstruction. My boob has a scar but it otherwise looks pretty normal and has retained sensation.

    As far as how starting chemo before your wedding will go..... Your doctor is right that if you have your first chemo infusion before your wedding, your hair will probably still be there. But there's no guarantee that you'll feel like partying at your wedding. I did four infusions of AC, and 12 infusions of Taxol, and I worked through them. But, I was lucky and didn't have many side effects. Still, even though my side effects were mild, I wasn't exactly bursting with energy. I would get my infusions on Wednesday, be OK and on a steroid high through Friday, and then the side effects would hit on Saturday. For AC, my worst side effects were fatigue and spaciness. For Taxol, it was fatigue and mild diarrhea, which I managed with Immodium.

    In any case, there's no guarantee that you will have a mild reaction to chemo. Plenty of strong women have found themselves hospitalized with infection, dehydration, and other problems because of chemo. The fact that you're young is an asset, but no one -- not even your doctor -- can predict how you'll respond to your treatment.

    Best wishes! Hope you figure out your treatment and have a wonderful wedding!

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  • ABeautifulSunset
    ABeautifulSunset Member Posts: 990
    edited May 2016

    If it were me, knowing what I know now about the treatment and side effects, I would, without a doubt, havemy wedding before I started treatment. It's only a few more weeks, and honestly (but please ask your doctor) a few weeks wait at this point us not likely to make a difference. Good luck, and congratulations on your coming marriage.


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  • debiann
    debiann Member Posts: 1,200
    edited May 2016

    I am so sorry you are in this situation. I would have to agree that I felt awful after starting chemo, even the first cycle. I would want to postpone chemo till after the wedding if at all possible, unless of course the MO feels that would be putting your health at risk. Hair falls out about day 16, but starts to feel weird a little before that.

    If you do have to start chemo before your big day, ask to go back for extra fluids two days after your infusion. I didn't start doing that till the 4th round, but it did help me feel so much better.

    Congratulations on your marriage and prayers for you.

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited May 2016

    No way would I do chemo before I got married. I can't imagine a few weeks would make that big of a difference. Sorry you are dealing with this before your big day. Congratulations!

    Diane

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited May 2016

    Maegtexas - Your post doesn't say if your tumor is estrogen positive. There are some clinical trials now on treating estrogen positive tumors with antihormonals prior to surgery. Perhaps you can speak to your doctor about starting Tamoxifen prior to your wedding. Estrogen positive tumors, tend to be slow growing so waiting the 3 1/2 weeks until after your wedding may be reasonable. If your tumor is triple negative, it may be more aggressive and delaying chemotherapy may have greater implications. You indicate in your post that you had a surgical appointment. The surgeon doesn't generally decide the medical treatment for BC. You should insist on an appointment with a medical oncologist. He or she will be better able to discuss the risks of delaying chemotherapy with you.

    I agree with ElaineTherese that no doctor can truly predict how you will feel after your first chemo. While the side effect of nausea and vomiting can be well controlled with medication, no one can predict the fatigue that you may feel. Every patient responds differently. I personally experienced very significant fatigue after my first AC infusion and less fatigue with each subsequent infusion. I experienced almost no side effects while getting Taxol. But others have had very different experiences.

    I hope that you come up with a plan that your comfortable with and that you get to fully enjoy your wedding day!

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited May 2016

    Dear Maegtexas - We're so sorry you find yourself in this situation, but wanted to say welcome, and congratulations!! We hope we all can help you and hope you find what you're looking for in this wonderful community.

    Please continue to let us know how you're doing!

    The Mods


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  • keepthefaith
    keepthefaith Member Posts: 2,156
    edited May 2016

    I think I would wait to start chemo after the wedding, if that was an option, also. You may be one of the lucky ones, who have very few SE's, but then there are others who end up with infections, allergic reactions, etc after the first round. Granted, they are very manageable and treatable, but for me, it would be hard to focus on my wedding if I were worried about what effect the chemo would have on me. Even if they are minor SE's, you need to be at your best and have a memorable and joyful experience! My experience with chemo was not too bad, personally. I hope all goes well for you. There are other forums here that may be helpful for you as well. Congratulations on your wedding!

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  • anotherNYCGirl
    anotherNYCGirl Member Posts: 1,033
    edited May 2016

    Maeg,

    Speak to your oncologist about your schedule. Although I was not the bride, I was the mother of the bride, and I began chemo around 4 weeks before my daughters wedding.

    My onc worked out a treatment plan for me. I was given a first regular dose of A/C, but then instead of getting the full second dose, I was just given one drug (cytoxin) for the next infusion. It was much easier to tolerate that way. Also, the 3rd infusion was postponed a couple of days so as to be monday after the wedding instead of friday before.

    Although I did lose my hair, I felt FINE. I had a terrific wig, and I had my make up done professionally for the first time in my life. No one would have believed that I was undergoing treatment.

    I hope your oncologist is able to work out a plan for you, too!

    Hugs from NYC


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  • reflect
    reflect Member Posts: 576
    edited May 2016

    So sorry this is happening to you. You don't mention which chemo you will be getting, but I started with AC and my first round was easier than subsequent rounds but I was not feeling great for sure. You must hydrate like crazy, and use the antinausea drugs on a schedule, not wait for symptoms to begin. If you have a safe choice, postpone until after your wedding. You'll want to be focused on taking care of yourself during chemo. Wish you the best of luck!

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  • AmyQ
    AmyQ Member Posts: 2,182
    edited May 2016

    I was dx February 7 and didn't have first chemo until April 9 so I think waiting a couple of weeks to begin chemo would be fine. I'm with Debiann, I had side-effects right away with the first round so my advice is to postpone your chemo until after your wedding. Another thought, chemo does a number of your white blood cells and neutrophils - you don't want a weakened immune system and celebrate with a few hundred germ-carrying guests. I think that's another reason for postponement. Good luck with your decision and I'm very sorry you are facing such a dilemma and right before a great day.

    Amy

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  • Moissy
    Moissy Member Posts: 550
    edited May 2016

    Sent you a private message.

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  • Maegtexas
    Maegtexas Member Posts: 8
    edited May 2016

    Thank you everyone for all of your insight and great advice. Today I had my first appointment with the medical oncologist. She said I am considered stage II due to the size (3.5cm) of the tumor.

    The doctor has a feeling I will be considered triple negative (still waiting on the HER-2 results) so that may end up changing the plan we put in place today. Apparently this means it's aggressive and I unfortunately cannot wait until after the wedding to begin treatment

    She mentioned fertility and possibly me needing to freeze eggs (which I hear is expensive) but this is time sensitive and I just don't know if it can wait before I start chemo. Is anyone familiar with infertility after chemo? She said there's only a 10% chance I'll be infertile but would still like to give me doses of Lupron throughout treatment. Anyone have any experience with this drug?

    Monday I have an appointment with a fertility specialist. Tuesday I have CT and bone scan. Wednesday is MRI. Thursday is to discuss final chemo plan and hopefully surgery appointment to discuss port placement will be next Tuesday.

    She said that the current chemo plan may change if my HER-2 comes back positive but this is the plan so far: 4 rounds of AC followed by 12 weeks of Paclitaxel.

    I realize I will probably feel like crud at the wedding which really sucks but I'm holding out hope for enough hair for the wedding. I'm looking into cold caps now- at least just for the first round to see if it does anything.

    I may be naive and idealistic but it's all I can do right now to not fall apart before the big day.

    Also- didn't even think of the immune system suppression and the wedding being a bad combo. I'll speak with my doctor about this ASAP



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  • JoniB
    JoniB Member Posts: 346
    edited May 2016

    Megatexas - I wish you a long and happy marriage and good health. As far as fertility, I work with someone who froze eggs and then didn't use protection after treatment and became pregnant. So her chemo did not end up affecting her fertility after all. Best to plan for the "just in case" anyway. My wish for you is a healthy futire and a beautiful wedding day.

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  • CJSharma
    CJSharma Member Posts: 464
    edited May 2016

    I wanted to give you a big virtual hug. All I can say is that you caught it, and caught it fairly early from what it sounds like. You have a wonderful man who loves you. It may not be the wedding of your dreams, but it will absolutely be a unique one. Side effects vary. Once you have a plan in place, read all about the side effects of those drugs and the timing of those side effects and plan a start date so that your wedding date will fall when you are feeling your best. I'm on AC and I do have many days when I feel pretty much normal. As for your wedding guests - ask your doctor - but mine was clear to say that that was not a huge deal. Of course, I get the Nuelasta shot, so by the time I'm feeling normal, my white blood count is fairly normal, too.


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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited May 2016

    Cold caps are a good idea, though I hear that they don't work as well with AC as they do with Taxotere/Carboplaitin. Ask the ladies on the cold cap message board if anyone had any success in saving their hair on AC chemo.

    Hope you get good news from the fertility specialist!

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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited June 2016

    hey honey we were planning our 2nd marriages when i found the lump i had chemo before surgery n Lmast then we got married no honeymoon then i did rads for 7wks then we went on Our Honeymoon. Sweetie Praise God i am a 22yr Survivor keep Hope N stay Positive.msphil idc stage2 Lmast chemo and rads n 5yr on tamoxifen.

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  • Maegtexas
    Maegtexas Member Posts: 8
    edited July 2016

    imageI just wanted to come back and say thank you to everyone who replied. It turns out that I am indeed triple negative (BRCA negative). Because of this IVF was not an option because I needed chemo ASAP. I had one round of AC before the wedding and somehow felt amazing on my wedding day. Since then I have had 2 more AC treatments and have my last on this Thursday! After this it's 12 weeks of Taxol and most likely BMX in November. I used cold caps for my first three AC treatments but am not going to continue. I'll attach a photo of the wedding date! Again, THANK YOU. When I first posted I was terrified but I have found so much strength through talking to other women.

    image

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  • anotherNYCGirl
    anotherNYCGirl Member Posts: 1,033
    edited July 2016

    GORGEOUS photos!! Congratulations and all BEST BEST wishes!!

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  • lekker
    lekker Member Posts: 594
    edited July 2016

    Stunning! Congratulations!!!

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  • grainne
    grainne Member Posts: 245
    edited July 2016

    hi. Just dropping by to say how beautiful you look. Many long and happy years to you and your new husband.

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  • Maegtexas
    Maegtexas Member Posts: 8
    edited July 2016

    thank you!!

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  • twintwin2
    twintwin2 Member Posts: 54
    edited July 2016

    I just want to say that you both look stunning and you are an inspiration to me as I near my surgery date next week. Congratulations to you both and I wish you all the best!

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  • Scwilly
    Scwilly Member Posts: 489
    edited July 2016

    I am so happy to hear how things went. You look beautiful, Congratulations. Thank you for sharing your pictures with us.

    I wish that your treatment is successful and that you are comfortable and have minimal side effects. Time may feel slow, but it will pass. My 9 months of Chemo, Surgery and Radiation seem like a lifetime ago.

    Best wishes

    Sarah

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited July 2016

    So happy you were able to feel great on your wedding day! And as everyone said, you are beautiful!

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  • msphil
    msphil Member Posts: 1,536
    edited July 2016

    CONGRATS TO U BOTH GOD BLESS. msphil. idc stage 2 0\3 nodes Lmast chemo rads n 5yr on tamoxifen.

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  • suzydthatisme
    suzydthatisme Member Posts: 28
    edited July 2016

    My gosh, you are the most gorgeous gal!  Good luck to you and many congrats on your new life together!

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