Anxious & terrified

Mom2fourLittles · July 2016

I'm new here, I'm 36 years old with 4 kids under 6. I'm still trying to learn what all this means even though I've been researching nonstop the past few weeks. There is no history on either side of BC and I found the lump myself about 2 months ago.There are 2 areas graded the same which look like they may be connected and one is growing into the dermis layer of the skin. I recieved my pathology report and what I know now, I have IDC grade 3. ER+Pr+ and HER-. I'm meeting 2 surgeons in the coming week and was scheduled for a breast MRI. They say this MRI can stage this? Is that true bc I've been reading otherwise. I'm completely anxious and terrified. More so for my small children. I keep thinking the worst even though I try to stay positive. It's so hard to get a grip on all this when I'm active, feel great, and my biggest worry 2 weeks ago was potty training and little league. I'm completely terrified, angry, all the other emotions everyone else here I'm sure has felt. I keep reading survival stories and then get caught up in the ones that didn't end well. I need some encouragement. I'm gripping at anything right now.

Lovinggrouches · July 2016

mom, I was in your shoes in January. I had mri of breasts and it showed my cancer as 1.3 cm, where the mammogram (diagnostic ) showed it 8 mms. I went in with right breast and shoulder pain at 41 and they found cancer in LEFT breast. Come to find out, I had torn rotator cuff. Thank GOD for having the pain, because I would have not had mammogram until cancer was much bigger. I had lumpectomy with positive margin and then had to have reexcision to get clear margins. They took 3 sentinel lymph nodes and they were negative. I was 97 percent ER and 76 percent PR and her 2 negative like you. iDC. It's good because tamoxifen usage for 10 years will block the hormones from being able to feed the cancer. My grade was 1, so it was slow growing and ki was low. Be sure to ask for copies of ALL tests! I found positive margin on biopsy of lumpectomy tumor that 2 out of 3 of my doctors missed! I feel for you going through this with small children. I fought with anger, depression, anxiety, worry, crying spells. The surgeries were not terrible and i healed with no complications. I completed 20 radiation treatments. I did not have to do chemo. My oncotype test was 14. You will learn lots that you never knew before. I didn't even know what ER and pr was before all of this and the fact that there are so many different types of breast cancer and 2 people can have the same thing but treatments are different from person to person. Don't be afraid to ask questions! Prayers for you! Ask any questions you may have. This is a great site for support! Hugs!!!!

RMlulu · July 2016

Hi Mom - so sorry that you are joining us here, but this site and the women here are incredibly. Stay on this site the info is good.

Breathe, the waiting as all the pieces of data come in is the hardest. Try not to run ahead, follow your heart and not your fear. You can do this. Join new threads as your plan takes shape. There will be others who will come along side you as you take each step.

MRI will give info and a good picture of what you are facing. You may be a candidate for neo adjunctive chemo since you are grade 3 to reduce tumor prior to surgery.

Use your wait to set up a file, collect copies of all your tests, write your questions for you team, find out what services your BC center offers. You may wish to set up a caring bridge or meal train so that others may help you as you move forward. Just helps organize meals, rides, kiddo help, and share info. Accept help!

You've got this...just right now the roller coaster is headed up up up in the dark...soon you will have all the info and a plan...having a plan and moving forward in treatment gives back control. So breathe, hug those kiddos, enjoythe fireworks, and embrace those little things that make life family so special. You will be ok..youve got this warrior.

Ah, potty training and little league and mini van shuttle...it will be ok...in your pocket (((squeeze)))

Cindy

Anonymous · July 2016

Hi Mom, sorry you find yourself here but you have arrived at a good place, BCo. The posters here are supportive and you will get information, valuable information that you can use.

Relax and take a deep breath. Yes there are many survivors who post and that is great as it lets you know that having a BC Dx is not a death sentence. Yes, there are some who don't do well or have a hard time getting through the various treatments. You may find more of the latter because they know they can come here for support and answers from those who have been on this journey. Know that there are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of success stories out there but they have gone on with their lives and so you don't hear of those stories. Some of us who do well stay around for our friends who need to have hope so come ask questions, rant, let it out as you feel the need.

The journey will get easier as you get your treatment plan in place. Meantime take care of those 4 precious kids as one probably needs a diaper change right now.

edwards750 · July 2016

I feel for both of you. I am older than either of you but the fear factor is there regardless of age. It is distressing however to see so many young people with BC.

Staging comes after the Path report comes back and that usually happens after your surgery. I didn't have a breast MRI. I did have a lumpectomy and 33 Rads treatments. Taking tamoxifen and a month away from the 5 year milestone. I had IDC Stage 1a, Grade 1.

Having 4 little ones only adds to your anxiety but try and keep in mind they have come a long way in research and treatments for BC.

Reach out to family and friends for support and lean on them when you have to. It's not being weak it's realizing you need some help and accepting it when it's offered.

This website is a Godsend. It was and still is my lifeline and it will be yours too. It got me through some tough times and in the process I have established friendships too. There is no better place you can go where people understand better because we are all here for the same reason in various stages and grades.

Remember to keep the faith and keep us posted.

Diane

LoveMyFamily · July 2016

I have an almost 5 yo and a 10 yo so I was very freaked out on their behalf when diagnosed w idc a few weeks ago. Er+ works in your favor bc there are targeted treatments to block estrogen. You will feel better once you have a solid care plan. Try to take it step by step. Breathe deeply. Imagine all of us here on breastcancer.org holding your hand and taking the journey with you... because we are. ((Hugs))

Hopefloatsinyyc · July 2016

the MRI will help determine a possible stage, but as others have pointed out- they can't definitively do so until post surgical pathology. It is important however, that they gather as much info and have as close to accurate stage, so they can share treatment options with you and help determine what treatment plan is right for you. you found a great community here who will rally behind you!

Cgozz_ · July 2016

hi everyone.

My name is courtney and I have just been diagnosed w Dcis "low grade nuclei" not sure what that means on my pathology report, I have yet to meet my surgeon. I'm 26 years old and 38 weeks pregnant.

I am very scared. apt with surgeon is wednesday, she wants to induce my labor to get an MRI. Already did ultrasound and mammo. My tumor is 2cm. Right next to nipple. Surgeon said on the phone it is "likely" they'll have to take the nipple. I will do whatever it takes to get this out but I having a hard time accepting losing so much of myself at a young age. I am also so concerned for my new baby and 3 year old. Any support would be appreciated! Thank you ladie

grainne · July 2016

hi Cgozz. I'm so sorry that you are scared. All of us here know what that feels like. Truly, the worst part is not knowing what lies ahead. Once you understand what is going on and what the various terms mean and what treatments options and choices you have the fog will lift a bit. This is NOT a death sentence. Your new baby will be absolutely grand. We are all scared at first that our kids will have to grow up without us and the thought is just unbearable. Dcis is cancer that has not started to become invasive. Go on to the dcis thread to talk to others with this and seach on this site for clear information. it's hard luck to maybe lose a nipple but it's a price worth paying to stay well for your kids. I will be thinking about you.

nye1980 · July 2016

Mom2fourLittles, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I am 35 and am about a month into my own diagnosis. My immediate reaction was similar to yours as I have a four-year-old. That goes away and changes into something empowering and much more manageable. Waiting for test results is the absolutely worst. Imaging for breast cancer isn't that great, unfortunately. My first BS recommended an MRI when mammogram and ultrasound didn't show anything (but I felt a lump), but the second BS and the one I ultimately went with, didn't think the MRI was worth doing. And he felt like the mammogram showed enough calcification that he recommended a mastectomy anyway. We got a ton more information after that and once a plan was in place, I felt much calmer. You will learn to live the normal in between what feels like absolutely insanity. Sit with the feelings you have, but know that breast cancer isn't what it used to be and it is a well researched cancer with an array of effective treatment options. I wish you answers soon so you can take the next step on this journey and towards recovery.

ChiSandy · July 2016

This has me on the warpath about those recent gov’t recommendations that annual mammograms not start until 45 or 50 and that after 55 it’s okay to have them biennially. It is absolutely infuriating that younger women should have to wait till they can feel a lump or have other symptoms before they can get diagnostically imaged. Breast cancer, though not always, tends to be more aggressive in younger patients, which is what makes the current screening guidelines so senseless.

I was very lucky that back when I was 38 my HMO insisted all women members over 35 get a baseline mammogram. Over the years my doctors have been able to see and establish a pattern; and finally, when at 64 they saw a significant deviation in that pattern they jumped on it straightaway. I see so many young mothers here who are scared and confused and have young children who depend on them--and they shouldn’t have had to find their lumps themselves. I am infuriated that statisticians slice and dice the math and declare that for every 1000 mammograms only one life would be saved. We are living, breathing human beings, not statistics to be manipulated and analyzed. And for so many here, those potential lives to be saved are ones that would stretch long and rewardingly into the future and benefit everyone around them.

Christianna · July 2016

We have all been there... Anxious and terrified. What I would like to say is take a deep breath and trust the system. I am hoping you are in a good health care environment. The MRI is very helpful it will tell you and the doctor a lot more than a mammogram. Try to stay off blogs I love this site it has such great information on it. What I say to people is that each one of us is on our own journey so you cannot compare your cancer to anyone else. The treatment can be totally different than the next person with the same diagnosis. My prayers and thoughts are with you I will answer anything you might need to ask as well as I can from a sister survivor!

Anxious & terrified

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