Modified radical mastectomy a week ago

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silviah
silviah Member Posts: 46
edited July 2016 in Surgery - Before, During, and After

I'm new to this forum... just had surgery a week ago, today. Physically, I'm feeling ok...not too much pain, mostly if I sneeze. I'm recenty (5 years) married. We are still waiting to hear back from the doctor and now we have a 3 day weekend.

Is it normal for my husband to be on my nerves? Am I the only one? I feel so guilty. I know he's going through this too.

Any suggestions?

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited July 2016

    silviah,

    You are recovering from major surgery. You have been through a lot, both physically and emotionally, so you may not be relating to family and friends as you normally do. Why is your husband getting on your nerves? Whatever the reason, fawning over you too much or not enough, let him know what you need from him. Honesty is important as neither of you are mind readers.

    May I ask why you had a radical mx? This type of surgery is almost never done anymore and is far more debilitating than the simple or modified mastectomies almost all surgeons do. Glad you're feeling well physically and give yourself plenty of time to heal

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  • silviah
    silviah Member Posts: 46
    edited July 2016

    exrbrnxgrl,

    I guess I feel like he is being insensitive. Leaving dishes around & clothes on the floor. I have asked, but it still doesn't get put away. I ask to the point of my frustraton and i just end updoing it myself. He knows this about me. He has invited his family over for a 4th BBQ. That is stressing me out too. I told him that I am not ready to entertain, he said he "needs" his family. I could jusy cry. But like I said, I know he is going thruh this too.

    The reason for the radical, there were 4 "lesions" in my left breast. One was right under my nipple, to the point it was actually sucking it in. A mastectomy was a better option there. My initial ultrasound did not show anything in my lymph nodes, but during surgery the doctor sent one node to pathology that turned out positive. He said a few others looked "if-y", so he did the dissection as well.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited July 2016

    I hate to keep harping on the radical mx, but it is almost never done anymore and is a surgery that would take a great deal longer to recover from. It involves not only the complete removal of the breast, but all of the underlying chest muscles (pectoral) and a complete axillary node dissection (clearance). Taking all of the chest muscles is particularly debilitating and disfiguring. Mastectomies themselves, are very common, but not the radical type. I don't mean to question you or your doctor, but this is pretty archaic and if you did indeed have a true radical, you most certainly should not be entertaining or doing housework this soon

    As for your husband, can your surgeon, nurse or a social worker speak with him to make him understand that you need this recovery time? Yes, you really need it! As for the holiday BBQ, set up a cozy nest in your bedroom and let your husband and his family have at it. This is not the time for you to be entertaining. If your husband wants and needs this BBQ, then he needs to be responsible for everything, period! If he doesn't understand this, after having your medical pros point this out to him, he is indeed being insensitive

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  • silviah
    silviah Member Posts: 46
    edited July 2016

    Ok - I was wrong.....I did not have a full radical. My chest muscles did not get removed. Sorry - I'm not totally familiar with all the terms.


    Thank you for the suggestion about the doctor...we go on Tuesday.

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  • rvgirl2016
    rvgirl2016 Member Posts: 67
    edited July 2016

    Silviah,  I'm 3 1/2 weeks out after my mastectomy.  I went to a nephews birthday party on day 10, but I didn't have to do anything but sit, eat and chat.  I would've killed my husband if he had invited a bunch of people over to our house after only 1 week!  I'm surprised his family didn't try to talk him out of it knowing about your surgery.  I agree with exbrnxgrl, just stay in your bedroom and take a long nap

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  • Hopefloatsinyyc
    Hopefloatsinyyc Member Posts: 211
    edited July 2016

    Welcome to the boards. There is a June surgery thread and you are welcome to join us there... It often helps to have a sisterhood around you that are all in this recovery from surgery stage together.

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