The Hermit Club

I am joining the hermit club. In between surgery three weeks ago and the scans and tests and all that has gone into leading up to chemo, I just want to hide and watch British detective shows and period dramas and snuggle my dogs. I've always been solitary and a home body but I just don't want to talk to anyone else right now about this besides my husband! I don't know if that's healthy but I am so tired of updating people and seeing their reactions and trying to explain how I feel to people. Maybe I will snap out of it, but for now I'm hiding and I don't want to feel guilty about it anymore.

Even my family, who are taking a break (mostly) from disfunction and caring for me with such support and love-it's hard to talk to them thinking about how much I love them and feel like I am causing them pain. My mom has a hard time finding good outlets for her emotions and so when I call her she just cries and I feel like I'm consoling her when it should be the other way around. When she visits (she's 3 hours away) she's great and goes into high gear taking great care of me and my husband. When she's back home she feels powerless so gets so upset and it's not very comforting. I have a lot of empathy but no energy for it.

I especially feel guilty about how much my husband is doing for us right now. We do have an excellent support system and he is doing a good job of taking care of himself and me. He actually says every day how proud he is of me because he says I'm coping. I see it as just checking out and not being strong enough to get myself up and around and be superror positive all the time.

Anyway there's 400 something pages here on the topic so I figured it would do me some good to try to relate to other hermits a bit.

Lindzanne welcome to the thread and sorry you are here. There is no right or wrong way. You are scared , numb and overwhelmed ,home is your sanctuary and where you feel safe. My husband was very emotional as well, he even passed out in the surgeons office, but he was there for me, the same as your Mom is for you. I know it's hard being the strong one, take one day at a time.

I found it hard to keep motivated, but I tried to keep busy just to keep my mind off negative thoughts. I am also a big fan of British detective shows, have you checked out acorn tv. I have enough cross stitch projects done to supply everyone in my family lol.

Thank you all for your kind replies. I feel validated.

I don't feel quite so much like a crab, or maybe I feel a bit proud to be one now? 😂

Jazzygirl I do think having a specific job for my mom would help. I do think I'll ask her to come help after chemo treatments so my husband won't feel bad about going to work if I'm feeling sick. I haven't started yet so don't know how it will affect me, and I'm going to try to work through it, but I know it will make her happy to just come do whatever is necessary and I will be very grateful for her help. Right now in this "in between" stage there's just a lot of hurry up and wait.

Lookingforward I have heard of acorn TV, very grateful for it right now!

Me! ;o))

Haha I just had my first chemo today so I think my 4th of July plans are that triathlon, Jazzygirl!

LOL Jazzygirl that will be me tomorrow at least!

Lindzanne- hang on to your hat, it will be quite a ride. Things that used to stress me don't anymore, because chemo and surgery made me feel more grateful than ever. Survivor takes on a new meaning! Hope you can rest a lot this whole week and beyond.

Happy 4th of July Hermit buddies

Happy Canada day Lookforward! I went to college about an hour from Vancouver and we used to hop in the car and drive up some weekends since we could get into bars and clubs younger than in the US. One night unwittingly we landed there on Canada Day---we could not figure out what the heck was going on! Traffic at a standstill, wall to wall people everywhere cheering and carousing, I remember a drunk guy roller blading through the traffic waving a giant Canadian flag........we finally figured out what was going on and got a parking space and had a great time celebrating Canada. Ah, ignorant Americans!

If anything I can pretty much walk down the block from our place to get a great view of the fireworks in Seattle over Lake Washington, we shall see!

Finally got much needed rain yesterday.

Teka- that is great news about Footprints and getting a new service dog. She was so heartbroken when Faith passed unexpectedly. Thanks for sharing that as I have not heard from her in awhile. I am going to reach out to her via PM.

Sandwich looks yummo! Sorry about skunking.

Happy Canada Day Lookingforward!

Lindzanne, it sounds like your area is beautiful. I am in love with Seattle.

happy 4th of July neighbors!

(1) in hot chocolate.

(2 and 3) in s'mores.

I thought I posted this already but when it comes to marshmallows I have no shame--I'd happily eat 2-4.

Wishing I had an appetite for my favorite 4th guilty pleasure, bbqed hot dogs! Things were already kicking off here last night, fireworks all over the neighborhood, bbqs, me snuggling my poor little terrified dog--least favorite day of the year for him!

My sister is visiting, even though she's mainly just helping me get through these gross post chemo days (day 4 for me) still feels special. My little brother may come over and BBQ with her and my husband and who knows, I may feel up to my hot dog after all!

Hope everyone has a great day!

Lindz- holiday's are tough when you don't feel well. I went through treatment from around Thanksgiving into the spring and pretty much enjoyed nothing during that time. The good news is, you will feel better after and be sure to have a hot dog when you do!

Have your own holiday, post chemo holiday just for you! Enjoy all the foods you missed!