Would it Have Helped???

A_Guy · June 2016

As I have written about extensively, I recently lost my girlfriend to this terrible disease and I am devastated. Shipwrecked.

Of course, as we all do, I keep going over and over in my mind things that I could have done differently. I won't rehash all of the holistic therapies that we tried, but there were many. Curcumin, Avemar, Chinese medicine, naturpaths, acupuncture, etc. The last being medical marijuana oil.

Toward the end I found out about clinics that offer complimentary treatments, including one about 40 miles away in Boulder. However, she was too sick to make the trip there due to a delay caused by other medical appointments. I found out about it too late.

Here's my question, and it's not an easy one. I wonder if there is any way that she could have been saved. Maybe that clinic, or a special clinic that I heard of in Georgia, Mexico, or somewhere else could have turned it all around. Or, do such places and therapies just delay the inevitable? Part of me wanted to believe it, but another part thought that if it worked, everyone would be doing it.

labelle · June 2016

It is not an easy question. Even mainstream "proven" therapies like chemo and radiation and hormone therapies don't work for everyone all of the time. There is no reason to believe any alternative therapies will save everyone all of the time either. We all just do the best we can with the hand we are dealt.

I lost my mother to BC ten years ago. Could a different treatment plan have made a difference in either a cure or a longer or better quality of life for her? That is simply a question no one can answer. I just try to remember we (our family) and she did everything we could given the resources we had and what we knew at the time. That is all anyone can do.

I do know how hard it is to loose a loved one to BC and all the "what ifs" that go around and around in one's head. I hope in time you will heal and be able to put these kinds of thoughts to rest, but it does take time- lots of it.

KBeee · July 2016

I am sorry to hear about your friend. Unfortunately when the beast that is breast cancer has metastasized to multiple organs, it most likely would ha been delaying the inevitable. It sounds like you were a good friend to her, and in her final months, that was likely more important than any therapy any place could have offered

Anonymous · July 2016

I don't know enough about the latest research on alternative treatments to comment, but please know you did everything you could do with the knowledge and information you were given at that time. I've been a caregiver to my spouse, who died from cancer in '96. I second-guessed myself for years--did I miss something else we could have done? Would it have made a difference?, but I finally realized HE also had a part in his treatment options, and even if I had tried to get him to go in a different tx direction, he would have chosen the path he chose. Cancer is aggressive, mean, and sometimes wacko (we can't figure it out), which is why we can't always treat it with either trad or alternative meds and make it go away forever.

You did great at loving and caring for your girlfriend. That was the biggest gift you could ever give her. Hang on to that.

Love,

Claire in AZ

barbe1958 · July 2016

If she was under the care of a Medical Oncologist, that doctor would have done everything in his arsenal to save your girlfriend. Not only is it his job, it's his passion and the reason he became an oncologist. So please don't second guess her treatment, you probably eased some of her symptoms with your holistic care which would have made her journey more tolerable.

Have you discussed your feelings with her oncologist? Did she refuse something that was offered and that is your dilemma? As someone above said, even if you threw everything at it, you might be in the same position today. The "what-ifs" can drain us emotionally and distract us from the love we had for someone.

Remember the good times and forget the bad. You had a gift for a short period of time that some people will never have in their lifetime.

A_Guy · August 2016

Sorry about the delayed response from me. I really appreciate yours. I guess there wasn't much more that I could have done. It's been 2 1/2 months today. This is so awful.

Would it Have Helped???

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