My partner may be on the way out

She dropped the bomb this morning that she needs a break. That she's burning out. I'm 3 weeks post op from a bmx. She had to leave 1 week post op to go on a work trip. She's been away from this off and on because she travels for work. There are plenty of breaks for her. It's only been three months since this started. But we only met three months before all this started. I'm the one who has to live with this day in, day out and go through the pain / changes. But she's the one who is burned out. I get it, but at the same time I don't. It's a casualty of this situation I suppose. We were too new. Naive to think we would be the lucky ones to make it out in once piece. Over promising the future. too much. too soon. Maybe she didn't want to be the one who left on hearing the news. The trouble is, I don't want to wait for her to make up her mind if she can "handle" this. I don't want more uncertainty in my life than I already have. The fact that she is questioning her ability to make it through seems to give me my answer. I don't blame her for it. I can't protect myself from how cancer is ripping me and my life to shreds. I can't change that.

She wants to "talk about how we can craft this into a speed we are both happy with". Well, I can't. I can't control how these chips fall and the speed at which they're hurled at us. I can't give that to her. I can't change the physical and emotional changes happening to me. It makes me wonder if she has the maturity and stamina to handle this. I'm not asking her to. i just don't want her to stay out of obligation. so she doesn't have to be "that person" who dips in the middle of treatment.

To be honest, I have no desire to be with anyone who is there while it feels good for them and then fades out when things get hard and they feel "burned out" so they can go at their own speed. It's not their fault. It's a type of person. one that I seem to attract. one that I cannot have in my life anymore. It's not the type of character I'm looking for if I'm going to invest my time and life with someone. I need more stability than that. especially now.

All this makes me just want to turn around, walk away and make the best of this situation on my own. To control what I can in this situation and at least protect my heart from months of uncertainty of whether she'll bolt for the door at any second. I already feel such a deep betrayal from the words she shared. I don't know if it can be fixed. And it's no one's fault.

I know there are some of you here who have been through this. Please tell me how you looked up and made it through.