So many twists in the last three months

I am not even sure where to start this story.

I'm posting on behalf of my mom, diagnosed stage 3-C October 2012. 8 rounds chemo (A/C, taxotere) radical mastectomy, radiation, local recurrence a year later (oral chemo, more radiation) and then a recurrence in a pleural effusion (still localized, surgery followed by oral chemo, which she is still taking and will continue to take as maintenance until it stops working) --We thought we avoided lymphedema -- and honestly, with everything else that went on, life was good without it. But a few months ago, my mom's affected arm blew up.

That was the start of the issues.

I adore my mom's doctors. I have the utmost respect for them, and believe that she is being cared for very well with regard to the cancer. Since this spring, though, I'm not sure we have found the right balance to treat her whole.

After the first swelling, we met a lymphedema therapist who wrapped, ordered a sleeve and taught my mom exercises. That worked for a bit, but then there was a flare up. So we ordered a better compression sleeve, and it took 6 weeks to arrive. During that time, she spent too much time wrapped, causing muscle cording and decreased mobility. Increased levels of depression.

We have been monitoring tumor markers and they are starting to elevate. (52 a week ago; they should be under 38.)

We also got a clean CT scan, which the oncologist is treating as a gold standard. It's my understanding that the inflammation from the lymphedema can elevate the tumor marker number. So we will continue to monitor, but he picture had nothing to show.

Right now, my mom is exhausted. She can't keep her interest in anything. She goes from one malady to the next--last night she got a bout of stomach cramps that she is swearing are caused by eating sautkraut (which I fed her to get some vegetables in her). Three days before that, she got a few bug bites that she can't itch because of her arm wrapping. She's on an antibiotic to knock out what could be the start of a lung infection in her affected side (no masses/fluid, but a bit of a darkening. No doctor seems overly concerned, but with the fatigue, they figured they would give this a shot.)

I don't know what questions to ask anymore. In nearly four years, this is the first time my mom has looked this defeated. None of my tactics--nurturing, playfulness, or even my company--seem to bring her any kind of comfort. All I want to do is get her back to at least enjoying a night of television. At the moment, all she does is sleep lightly on her recliner, day and night. She'll attempt conversation, but it's clear she isn't connecting.

She's not hungry, but will eat crappy food, and hasn't the energy to walk the dog down the block, so I can't even get her into the sunshine. She's also dizzy, and we seem to have boiled that cause down to muscles in her neck being so tense from the lymphedema therapy; when the muscles get relaxed get dizziness leaves

With the scan results, I was over the moon--we are in the clear! But all I can think about now is that there is something eating at her insides and we haven't found it and don't know how to deal with it.

Or there isn't, and lymphedema sucks and is really causing this downward cycle, which, I think, would be worse.

Any words of advice? Questions to ask any doctor or therapist? I'm calling the oncologist this morning, but I'm already anticipating the 'continue the course' outcome.