Need to be talked off the ledge!

Dear Scared - I'm so very sorry you're dealing with this, especially after going through your late husband's illness and death.

I don't have any secrets to share - I've spent plenty of time on that ledge and despite efforts to stay busy (distracted) and do pleasant things, think positive, etc., for me it came down to just dealing with the passage of time.

If you can, you might want to talk with your MD about some Ativan or similar to take the edge off and help you shut down your mind so you can sleep at night, if that's an issue. Exercise may also help.

You might also call to ask if there's any chance you could get your results any sooner. I had mine in 2.5 or 3 days. Hang in there. I know it's awful and I deeply hope you do get good news.

Edited to add - the initial biopsy report was not totally complete but it did give me the information I needed to have some idea of what I was facing. The complete report took a few days longer. It's possible that your facility doesn't plan to release your report until all the testing is finalized.

I am so very sorry you are dealing with this, and at such a young age. I do not understand why "the professionals" feel bound to guestimate what is and is not cancer. They cannot know. Even if they think they know and it acts, feels and looks like something they have seen similarly, they CANNOT KNOW until it is in a dish and a pathologist has looked at it (and from recent news, even then some people get second opinions).

They assured me mine had a very unlikely chance of it being cancer...that it looked nothing like cancer *should* look. They were wrong. They assured me the MRI is 99.9% accurate. They were wrong.

It is nerve racking to wait for any result, never mind cancer....ask for anxiety meds if you need them to get through the wait time. There is no shame in it.

As for people who have "beaten" cancer....Julia Child died at 93 from a viral infection. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at 54 (I think) back in the "dark ages" of cancer treatment. There are many famous women who are still alive, 20+, 30+ years after a breast cancer diagnosis. Gloria Steinem is 82, still going strong and was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 40s or early 50. My gyn (in WIi) was diagnosed at 31 with 2 small kids. She is 65 and traveling the globe to offer free women's health care now that she is "retired."

Don't assume you have cancer till you are told you have it. There will be plenty of time to be angry, worried, scared. Right now, enjoy your family and friends and don't presume the worst till they tell you.

Best to you!

scared7755 I know how you feel. My cancer experience to date is my husband and father who both died last year after two years of treatment and relapses and a friend who died last year after a much shorter time. Going through the assessment process I was in the same place you are. You're brain is saying there's no cancer until the lab says there's cancer. No matter how bad the images may look they can't know for sure. Sit tight. If it is cancer you have plenty of time to melt down then.

Now that they know for sure with me I have to try and see the differences between my cancer and theirs which is something I'm not good at yet. I am finding it much easier being the patient than being the carer so that may be some solace to you. In the absence of a father Itry to embrace my children with strong role models who share the same values as me so even if I'm not around to raise them they will be raised in a way important to me.

Blessyour heart Scared. The fear factor is something we all truly understand and empathasize with. Believe it or not the TBD phase is the hardest.

I got my biopsy results in a few days. Thing is I already knew. The mammo showed one breast was bigger than the other. I had never been called back in after leaving the facility until then so I was braced for THE call.

We all hope and pray it isn't BC but remember even if it is you can handle it. We are all testaments to that.

So enjoy your family and do take meds for anxiety if you need to. No harm in that at all.

Keep us posted and keep the faith.

Diane

I was you - I was diagnosed with BC at age 34 with a 9 month old at home. Here I am, 24 years later, alive and kicking.

I agree with the suggestion of a little Ativan to get you through the next week.

Joan

Also, masses that are mobile sway toward benign. It is unlikely that you have cancer, but if you do, look around and see the vast majority of us are very much alive and kicking butt. "You got this"....whether or not you "have it."

Im not sure what is meant by irregular margins? Do you mean edges?

Scared....YES you can beat this.It is not an automatic death sentence but we all know how scary it is! The beginning of this process is the worst. I promise you will feel better when you have all the facts and a treatment plan. So far your stats look encouraging. Try to stay positive and don't hesitate to ask for meds to get you through this tough part. Good luck. We are all here for you.

Scared, I'm sorry this turned out to be BC, but the happy news is that a stage1 BC isn't likely to kill you. As my MO said to me, "This next year is gonna suck." And it has, but I continue to fight and am mostly done with treatment now, except for taking my AI and one more preventative surgery. It's been almost a year since my BC was found and I am thriving. I am back to my baseline activities, and probably would have gotten there sooner if I hadn't had so many complications from surgery.

I won't lie and say that everything's all right. I don't know when/if I'll ever go another day without the word "CANCER" being part of my thoughts. It doesn't help that my DH has recently been diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer; he will have radical surgery next month, so we are both sort of shipwrecked right now. But we have our Xanax and the occasional rum & Coke to help us through. (that reminds me--need to buy more rum.)

I'm so sorry it turned out to be cancer...you've joined the club no one wishes to join. A biopsy can only tell you so much information and give you a preliminary staging. I'm sure they will want to do a lumpectomy or mastectomy (depending on what they determine) and you will move from there. I agree, once your treatment plan is in place, you will feel much better about all of this, as much as anyone can.

There are new treatments down the pipeline. So, focus on getting through treatment and see which doors and avenues open up for you. Allow yourself time to grieve and process what you are dealing with before you start thinking about the next 20 years. Day by day and time flies by quickly.

I'm so sorry it didn't turn out to be benign! We've all been there and it can be overwhelming. However, your stats are excellent - Stage 1 and ER, PR+, her-2 - and the odds are you'll end up on the right side of the equation. Day by day, day by day as soon as you have a plan, you will feel better PM me if you'd like to talk more. I was also diagnosed when I had an infant at home