Any young adults with no family taking care of your loved one?

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abb25
abb25 Member Posts: 3
edited May 2016 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

My mom was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer that has no spread to the spinal fluid and is under Cedar Sainis Care. With all the good and bad her strength always makes me cry...she's the most amazing soul

But on my end, I dont have any blood family besides her and I'm terrified. Being 29, taking care of all her appointments alone and needing to work in-order to pay for life.... I just feel burnt out and depressed.

Is there anyone here in a similar situation as mine?


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  • Jenwith4kids
    Jenwith4kids Member Posts: 635
    edited May 2016

    I'm so sorry for you. Have you reached out the American Cancer Society? Or the child-life team at Cedars Sinai? I know you aren't a child, but I bet they can put you in touch with someone. You need to take care of yourself too.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited May 2016

    Abb25-

    We're so sorry, it sounds like you're very overwhelmed with all that is going on! Jen is right, it's so important to take care of yourself in the midst of all of this, even though it might not seem like a priority. She has some good suggestions about where to reach out for help; you also have the support of this entire community here for you! Please use these forums as much as you need, everyone here knows what you're going through and there is always someone around with an ear and some supportive words.

    The Mods

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  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 4,924
    edited May 2016

    Abb, bless you for being there for your mom. Please ask the social workers at Cedars about support for you, both practical and emotional. That's one reason the hospital social workers are there, and they are usually full of helpful ideas and resources.

    Also, here are some in-person family and caregiver support groups in your area:

    http://cancersupportcommunitybenjamincenter.org/ca...

    And of course, BCO is a great source of online support 24/7.


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  • GoldenGirls
    GoldenGirls Member Posts: 608
    edited May 2016

    I am older than you (early 40s) and though I have two siblings, I am the only one looking after my mother 99% of the time. I am right in the throes of feeling overwhelmed by all that comes with being the only caregiver to a mom with stage IV cancer and know how you feel.

    These past few months have been especially trying and just when the chemo made her stable again, her new treatment has given her debilitating pain and in recent days a whole other slew of crazy symptoms that are bringing her down physically and emotionally. I'm the only one she calls for anything and my brother's hardly even call her to see how she is, let alone step up and help unless I tell them to.

    Like you, I go to all of her appointments, am running all of her errands, and constantly trying to be her cheerleader and help raise her spirits all while trying to work so I can pay for living. On top of all that, having to see the realities of her situation and be all about the cancer 24-7 makes it impossible to feel relaxed or even just normal for a little bit. I also seem to have reached a point where the couple of people that would listen when I needed to talk are no longer interested in listening and one of them even seems to be passing judgement because until you've dealt with it first hand, it's very easy to believe that you'd never complain or get frustrated helping a loved one. It is a very isolating position to be in and I really feel for you.

    This site has helped me a lot. Being in Canada though, our resources are different so I don't have any suggestions in that sense.

    Feel free to message me anytime you want even if you just want to vent to someone who gets it.

    Hugs

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