Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

LG you are not crazy. People just don't realize it until you go through it all the stress and worry that is involved. Emotional ups & downs. I told my husband today that it had been a long 3 months since my mammo beginning of March that kicked it all off. He thought it had gone by quickly. Mine was very early stages, but it doesn't stop me worrying about recurrence or it showing up on left side. I try not to go there, but it's still hovering in the background. I dread my first mammo in 6 mos.

Hugs! Trish

1step: Can I borrow your image and repost?

LG: I'm sorry things are getting overwhelming. DH is out of town all week and evenings when the girls are in bed I spend a lot of time thinking too much. The spot where they took the lymph node feels lumpy and makes it hard to sleep unless I'm really tired. So I'm up at 1:30 am reading the boards.

I have not done genetic testing. Apparently my insurance requires counseling before they will approve the test. I will probably just opt for the hysterectomy due to family history. It is a difficult thing to have a hysterectomy. I watched both my mom and my sister have them in their 40s for non-cancer reasons. Both really struggled. Definitely talk to someone you think can help you through it with medication or other things like counseling.

People say the dumbest things. DH is an amputee (missing his right arm) and my kids are adopted from China (obvious trans-racial family). We hear all kinds of stuff from adults and kids alike. It has made me more introverted. I'm sure the hysterectomy comments will be one more thing. Hang in there!

Been gone for a while and it's hard to catch up on everyone!

Will be thinking of you Peggy when you do your memorial. I just got back from another delayed memorial for my cousin who died in February when I was still in chemo. They held the funeral in Idaho, cremated him, but had an ash scattering service in his home town of Salinas, CA which they set the date for me to be able to come. It was performed by his brother (also my cousin) who is an Army chaplain and was very moving. Flew with my sleeve and wore it most days with no problems.

Sandy - what a trip! I was lucky to get TSA Pre both ways when I flew to SF, so no real problems other than an hour delay leaving Midway.

Heathet- chemo, as you've heard, is different for everyone. I do have mine logged in on my blog very detailed on the first round (Check #12 for the beginning,) but your mileage may vary.

One month anniversary of finishing rads for me. I had two bad burns on my upper chest and underarm, but they turned the corner on healing right before I left for SF. Now they are just pinkish and tender. My stamina is returning, and as soon as I get through my colonoscopy tomorrow (Yuck!) I will be starting Anastrozole. BC never ends, does it?

Update Andy & Noreen did not make their connecting flight. Now they will come in 5 hours later than planned. At least they will get here. There's something about Salt Lake that produces impossible connections. DH and I had the same thing happen to us. And our airline (Delta maybe) was as unhelpful as could be. This was about 9 years ago. At least they are on another flight and it IS today.

HUGS!

Our Rabbi Emeritus (100) and his wife (101) celebrated their 75th this week!

Melclarity, thanks for the words of advice. I go to a monthly breast cancer support meeting, but no one really talks about anything. I can see why the navigator said that not many people usually show up. They just have a guest speaker, the ones that know each other already chat with each other, and then it's time to go

Trish, me and you have the same worry. I too worry about recurrence, I guess we just have to learn to live with it. I guess some worry all their lives and are cancer free 10 and 20 years later- others have stage 1 with no major problems or chemo, and it comes back as a later stage within 6 months to 5 years. Prayers for us both!

Thanks Molly, so glad your mammogram came out ok!!! Now for many more good ones!

Ejmann, thanks! It's nice to always hear from people who understand! I try to always realize that people just think they are making me feel better, so I don't stay mad. Most of them mean well lol!

Heathet, rock that pixie haircut! HUGS!

There's no doubt ladies, those with positive genetic testing and Her2+ status have alot of worry, good news with Her2+ is Herceptin, theyve come along way!!! its good news!!!

Lovinggrouches - In terms of recurrence though...there's no way of knowing. 4yrs ago I had DCIS only, I had aggressive treatment for it considering my Mum is the only relative with Cancer, so no history in the family. I had radiation and Tamoxifen for 4ys, checked yearly by my BS..to his surprise it recurred late last June in between visits. It appeared in my lx scar and was Stage 3. Ive since had Chemo and it threw me into menopause so am now on Arimidex and not Tamoxifen,cant do rads again. Recurrence is super hard on so many levels. I had no node involvement which was a bonus. This is the only reason why my MO and BS are pushing for a Mx as preventative. Its the million dollar question really...all you can do is listen to your professionals. Im glad to say 5 months on I have a new pixie cut and 3 weeks into a rehab for strength training. Kicked its butt!!! for the last time Stay positive, stay focused and proactive! and most importantly keep moving. We are not defined by this experience but boy has it changed me in terms of honoring me and my existence for the first time in my life and whilst still a very selfless person, am putting me above everyone else at times and thats the key!!!

Just. Had. To. Made me laugh!

Heathet, I'm right behind you with the port insertion. Mine is next Wednesday, June 1. Did you have general anesthesia or just local? I had my bloodwork today and I'll schedule my pixie cut for sometime next week! I have a horrible cold/flu and I've been spiking a 101 fever every night since Monday. Today I felt better almost all day, so hopefully it's on its last legs. If not, then the port will have a little extra time to heal.

Hello to everyone. Love and Hugs!! I'm too beat to write any more tonight.

I am SO UPSET!

The painting that I posted above is 5' X4'.  It is a truly amazing painting.  My son painted it and I am not saying that the painting is awesome because my son painted it.  My son had the painting hanging in an art gallery and the curator recommended that the painting be sold for $3000.00.  The painting is really that good.  The picture/post of his painting does not do justice to how great it actually looks.  It is magnificent.  It is a very large painting.  My son is 17 years old and he is not known in the art world.  If he were known then the painting would be worth a lot more. 

My son wanted to take the painting home from the gallery because he wanted to "finish" the painting.  His friend tied the painting to the top of his car.  The frame broke and the painting flew off of the car.  My son's friend did not even stop.  My son was not in the car with his friend when the painting flew off of the car.

My son thought that his friend was joking.  No such luck.  My son could not believe that his friend did not stop to retrieve the painting.

The painting is gone.

I don't even know how to react or what to do.  I feel numb.

We went back and looked for the painting but it is no where to be seen.

I called the Road Ranger service but I have to call again in the morning.  FHP doesn't answer.

In addition, my son found out today that he got a C (final exam grade in 2 classes) on his "jury" for theatre because his teachers felt that he wasn't creative, that he wasn't dressed well enough (brown dress shoes don't match a black suit) (he doesn't own black dress shoes)(they are lucky that he even owns a suit) and that my son must "pull himself together".  He has had a relapse of mononucleosis.  He has been sick all semester.  It is amazing that he is even attending school with his illness.  I am furious!   In addition, I can't afford better clothes and shoes.  I am a single parent with no child support, a ridiculously expensive commute to/from work, and exhorbitant medical expenses due to my bc dx.

I can't help ranting.   I feel like crying.  I feel so awful for my son because he lost his painting.  His painting is like his child (please G-d - don't let him have real children yet at 17!).

I am shaking right now. Today was my screening full-body skin exam. The derm noticed a raised pinkish oval spot (that she didn't mention at my initial dermatitis consult in Feb.) on my right temple--says it's probably a benign “seborrheic hyperplasia" (oil gland gone wild) but biopsied it anyway to rule out basal or squamous cell ca. (Removed the oil gland itself for good measure). But I was shocked when she found a mole on my back that I'd never seen before. She showed me the photo she took: very irregular border, asymmetrical, mixed pale tan and golden brown (sort of like a miniature ginger patch tabby cat). Said it was probably a dysplastic nevus and removed it all plus a small margin. But she couldn't rule out melanoma without a path report.....which will take a week. Meanwhile, no showers for the next couple of days--will have to “wash” with wet wipes. And there’s no way I can change the back-mole dressing myself, because I can’t reach it even if I could see it. I’ll have to catch Bob as soon as he gets home, before his first cigarette and glass of wine.

What has me freaking out is how suddenly the nevus appeared. I'd have said merely that neither I nor anyone else had noticed it before.....but it was in almost the same spot as the sebaceous cyst I developed in Dec. and for which my PCP prescribed Keflex rather than drainage (it was too solid) or excision (would have been too wide). He surely would have noticed a mole in that area. And I can't help but wonder if radiation passing through my breast might have reached through to my back and caused this: after all, each of my 16 radiation treatments was boost-strength.

I have several risk factors: very fair skin, a slightly-less-than-second-degree relative (my dad's half-sister) who died of liver mets from melanoma; and several blistering sunburns in my youth. But I have very few other moles or freckles.

It would be horribly ironic to have caught my IDC early and done everything right.....and end up having had the treatment for it give me another, more aggressive, cancer. I am hoping for the best--that it's only a dysplastic nevus; but it developed so fast and looked so variegated. And I will now have to be “mapped" every 6 months for the rest of my life--perpetually waiting for “other shoes to drop” for now and forever, not just for bc.

Needless to say, all plans for our trip to Italy are on hold (and I am not following through on looking for upcoming gigs) unless and until I get good news. I’m hoping that the worst case scenario is stage 0 melanoma, with no further treatment beyond a wider excision of clear tissue for safety’s sake. If it’s thicker than 1mm, they might have to do a SNB.....hello, truncal lymphedema. I don’t even want to think about adjuvant treatment.

614, that's tragic about your son's painting being lost. Some friend. And those teachers are cruel. Judging him because he doesn't have black shoes and he isn't trying? Anyone who has had mono or cared for someone with it, knows how debilitating it is. Do complain. You have nothing to lose.

Sandy, first congratulations to your rabbi and his wife. That's awesome. And on your skin spots - ARGH! That' very scary and worrisome. Aren't you glad you had your body scan? Fingers crossed that that one spot is not cancer. It's all so unfair!

Heathet, glad your port insertion went okay.

LovingGrouches, Your cancer support group sounds like the one I went to - once. One gal dominated all the discussions. Her cancer was worse than anyone else's, her treatment more extreme, her life more upset, yadayadayada. The moderator was useless in stopping that gal's mouth. I could see no point in returning. I have always gotten great support here and it's all I need.

Moondust, EVERYONE is getting sick this month. #2 son comes here with a cold. #1 DIL comes with a cold. I'm getting over whatever bug/allergies I have had. Hope you feel better PDQ!!

Sons and DILs here and it feels wonderful. The kids live far from each other and all 4 haven't been together in 19 years! #1 DIL was active duty Navy until a couple years ago and that made it difficult. But all is well. #1 son said it is like a non-homecoming arriving home this time. The house doesn't feel like the one he grew up in. He's got that right. Once I took down all the photos and packed all the books, the house was no longer "mine" - just a house, not a home. #1 son also said if there is a more boring airport than Salt Lake City's he doesn't want to go there. 5 hours of mind-numbing nothingness. We decided it would be preferable to be stranded at Las Vegas' airport! Today is putting together the displays for the memorial tomorrow. No matter how the displays turn out, the kids will enjoy seeing all sorts of photos of their dad that they've never seen (because I hadn't [or don't remember]) so it will be fun.

Have a safe and fun Memorial Day and remember those who are no longer with us.

HUGS!

finally checking in after a long time on the road...

Peggy: Books and photos really do make a home, don't they? Thinking of you for the memorial service tomorrow. Will be there with you in spirit. I am so glad that you are surrounded by family and that it feels wonderful. Blessings to you and to your husband's memory....

but no, you wouldn't want to be stuck in the LAS airport. Trust me on this. My guess is that at least SLC has bathrooms clean enough to use....

Sandy: so sorry about the mole worry. In your pocket until the results come! That is very scary and upsetting, I know.

614, that is a beautiful painting. And I'd consider complaining to the administration about someone who marked down a student for dress in that way: if it is a factor that matters they should pay for the damned shoes!

Moondust, feel better!

Hugs to all;

Octogirl

Peggy, thinking of you this weekend. Enjoy having your family together and I hope you have a wonderful day honoring Chuck. Welcome back octogirl! Enjoy the long weekend everyone.