April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

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  • Fran2014
    Fran2014 Member Posts: 140
    edited May 2016

    Thanks-I do think as the weeks go on with the radiation I will be definitely asking for some help with driving my butt up and back due to exhaustion (not to mention to help me laugh a bit). Dizz-hope it gets better soon.

  • AndreaC
    AndreaC Member Posts: 220
    edited May 2016

    Fran, that sucks about the radiation issues...I can't tell you how sorry I am for all you are going through....again. Life sucks sometimes. We are all here for you though, please feel free to vent...

    Today I see my BS for an assessment of my seroma on the right side - it's small and I don't think it needs to be drained, it's not bothering me...but my family doctor wanted the surgeon to check on it. So there you go. It will be nice to see my surgeon anyway, she's great.

    Beautiful sunny weather here on the west coast. I got back from Spain and Portugal on Friday but have been sick with a bad cold since...today I actually feel like moving though so I will do some gardening. The yard is so overgrown it's ridiculous.

    Andrea


  • Fran2014
    Fran2014 Member Posts: 140
    edited May 2016

    Hey-what's everyone been up to??? NJ is still "chilly" & I'm anxious for the warm weather to finally arrive (so if I'm complaining in July/Aug. you have the right to remind me about this post). All status quo on my end. Trying to decide on a radiation oncologist-really liked one dr. here in NJ (at ProCure) and now headed to Univ. of Penn on Friday for a 2nd opinion (apparently Proton radiation is quite a complex process). I did ask the other dr. if there was any chance the radiation would damage or "pop" my implant (he actually did not laugh which I give him credit for) and FYI- the answer is "no, but there may be a slight difference in size b/w the left and right breasts after radiation-REALLY????? Hope everyone is doing well

    Happy

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited May 2016

    Hi Fran, glad to hear that things are moving along for you. So what is proton radiation all about? Also, how did you find your reoccurance? Take care...

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited May 2016

    Fran, It sounds like you are getting some answers. My radiated side is much tighter and higher than the other side. My implant feels hard. Hoping the proton radiation is abit gentler.

  • Stephmoen
    Stephmoen Member Posts: 563
    edited May 2016

    feeling lost spiraling back into a depressive obsession with Cancer symptoms this time for the brain every time I feel something i convince myself it's cancer sometimes I think I wish I would just die in an accident or something quickly the thought of lying in a bed having my children watch me die makes me sick to my stomach I have abrain and spine mri in a week so afraid of the unknown

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited May 2016

    Steph, Wishing you an activity-filled weekend of distraction as you wait for the MRI. Hopefully it will bring you peace of mind. Hoping the docs can find some completely non-cancer reason for your symptoms, with a solution that will help alleviate them. (((HUGS)))

  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited May 2016

    Fran, hope your meetings with R.O.'s go well and you find a connection with the right person. I've heard the same thing that kbee mentioned as the primary result of a radiated implant. Take it one step at a time. If radiation messes up the implant, worry about getting it fixed down the road. There are lots of options. Take care.

    Steph, hang in there. In a week, your scans will show that you're okay. Positive thoughts!

    We are being held hostage by our new dog. Poor thing is so high maintenance from seperation anxiety we are afraid to leave her alone for long. I hope she adapts to us soon.

    image


  • Fran2014
    Fran2014 Member Posts: 140
    edited May 2016

    Hi Steph- Big hugs! Waiting around for tests/MRI etc., and then waiting for the damn test results just sucks!! I can totally empathize with your preoccupation of thoughts (usually negative ones at that)-I know it takes all your energy just keep focused and remain in present-stay strong my friend! Hope all goes OK and you are able to get some peace of mind soon.

    Dizz- Oh my gosh-what a cutie!! Wishing you the best of luck with the newest member of your family.

    Went to University of Pennsylvania Medical Center in Philadelphia on Friday afternoon. LONG story short- the radiation oncologist there wants to treat me VERY aggressively given my present situation. This means I'm placed on a personal "body mold" with my arms over my head and I'm placed into the proton radiation tube for one hour each morning, wait 6 hours in Philly and then head BACK into the radiation tube for ANOTHER hour- every late afternoon, Mon thru Fri., for 3 1/2 weeks. WAY TOO MUCH to wrap my head around!! Took me all weekend just to come to grips with what it will mean moving forward. I've never taken anything like Valium, Atavan or Xanax but this might just be what I'll need to get through this next step on this very crappy journey. Oh I forget to mention, the dr. also mentioned that after the radiation "we" might seriously consider a BMX "redo" to take off everything (skin included) and start over....WHAT??????? Like I said-anxiety meds. might be a necessity!

  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited May 2016

    Oh Wow Fran. That is a lot to wrap your head around. I would definately take some anxiety med to get you through this part of the journey. At the very least, it will allow you to keep your sanity during those hour long treatments. This is definately not the time to tough it out. I just started amitriptyline at night to help me sleep. I've been resisting takingvanything since I stopped ativan last summer. What I learned is that I just made my problem worse by trying to tough it out. I assumed it would just work itself out eventually. I totally wish I had tried it earlier. If your instincts tell you you'll need a little medical support to get you through those 3 1/2 weeks....go for it. AND...I know you are scared about the surgery prospects, but I wouldn't even think or worry about that part right now. Get past this bumpy road before you start worrying about the road conditions ahead. Take Care!!!!

  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited May 2016

    P.S. Hey everybody!!! Guess what.....I got my nipple tattoos today!!!! Whoohoo! So so so weird to look in the mirror. The tatoos are still pretty angry looking (he he "angry nipples"), but I can get the idea how they will look. They totally look like real nipples from the front, but magically disappear from most other angles. Pretty exciting.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited May 2016

    Dizz, glad the tattoos are done and look good! They do really make a difference.

    Fran, that is a lot to wrap your head around. It sounds like they are being very aggressive, but it sounds like they are also being curative, and really wanting to be sure you have every chance of getting rid of this once and for all. Hate that you have to do this; you have been through so much, but I am glad they are willing to go to war with it to blast the hell out of it. You are worth it, and we are with you. If you're on Facebook, PM me, so we can get you in the group there. It's a secret group, so it can't be searched for.

  • AndreaC
    AndreaC Member Posts: 220
    edited May 2016

    Fran, that is so much to take in. It's awful that you have to go through it all again...and more intense treatment. Hopefully this will all be a distant memory some day.

    Dizz, congrats on the new nipples!!

    Andrea


  • Rpayton
    Rpayton Member Posts: 235
    edited May 2016

    Sorry I have been missing getting on here and catching up.

    Fran, keep us posted. Hope and praying for better things for you.

    Hope everyone has a wonderful memorial day planned. Think back to last year and take time to reflect how far we have come back to the living.

    Blessings All!

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited May 2016

    Fran, I'm sending you good vibes!

  • GingerChi
    GingerChi Member Posts: 252
    edited May 2016

    Fran, it all sounds very overwhelming. Please keep us updated....I'm praying for you.

    Dizz, glad the tats turned out well..that is exciting!! Has the new dog settled in? Hope so...I adopted a chi several years ago with terrible separation anxiety. I ended up adopting another one to solve that problem. lol



  • lovlilynne
    lovlilynne Member Posts: 405
    edited May 2016

    Hi Ladies, I haven't been on here for a couple of weeks. I can't believe how busy I am now that I'm not employed.

    Fran - OMG, I think I would have had a complete meltdown on the news of that treatment plan. I suggest counseling as well as the Ativan - maybe you can schedule something during the 6 hours you have to be in holding in PA.

    Heather, yeah for nipples! LOL

    Rene, you are always so positive, I love that. I did what you suggested, and thought about where I was at last year. I even went back in the bb and read what we posted over the weekend. You posted a "happy Memorial Day" post - so you!

    I was really hoping that now that I'm not working I would be able to do more exercise, but my schedule is still so crazy. My feet are also still painful. Just sitting for a little while, like a drive to a store, when I get out of my car, the first ~100 steps are so painful. I've been getting the pool opened and doing some light yard work, and I'm so weak and out of shape. That really makes me sad.

    Lynne

  • Fran2014
    Fran2014 Member Posts: 140
    edited May 2016

    Hi Lynne-Happy Memorial Day! Hope you were able to spend some quality time with family and/or friends. It sounds like things have been tough for you as well my friend. Totally sucks!! Especially the painful feet thing-ugh!! Gives a whole new meaning to the words, "take one step at a time"-pun intended!

    I can't even begin to tell you what a roller coaster I've been on for the last 3 weeks! Cutting a LONG story short-I'm going to be beginning Proton Radiation at a facility here in NJ (ProCure) bc they were willing to get started with treating me asap while the University of Penn would not begin anything until they received final authorization from my insurance company (which could take from 15 to 30 days from now). The facility in NJ knows the approval will come (given my case) and are willing to treat me while they fight it out with the insurance company. I did like the radiation oncologist better at the facility I will be going to and the treatment will not be as brutal b/c they prefer to give me the same type of radiation but at a slightly lower dosage for twice the time (6 weeks) to reduce the toxicity to my system. All I can tell you is that God works in mysterious ways and I'm calmer now that I have a date for CT mapping (this coming Friday) and expect to start treatment sometime around 6/13.

    Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited May 2016

    Fran, I'm glad things are moving along and that you're satisfied with the treatment plan. Please keep us up to date!

  • Rpayton
    Rpayton Member Posts: 235
    edited June 2016

    Fran, sounds like you are on track with a good plan. Keep us posted and know we are thinking of you!

    Lynne so sorry about the feet! Me too with foot pain. If you can, find a good podiatrist. I just went to the podiatrist and feel much better about things. I'm having orthotics made. And found out my 2005 bunion surgery on my right foot is falling apart. I guess they only last about 10years. And the neuropathy is giving me a pinched nerve. I'm told the neuropathy can be permanent. Yikes not exactly what the MO told me. All can get better in time though. Also got an Rx to help my big toe on left foot regrow a toenail. I just hate sandal season is here and no sandals for me this year. Pout

    Exercise like walking can get hard for me too. Then I get down in the dumps. I have to remind myself that exercise can save me from recurrence, I feel better when I do it, and I MUST. On bad days I ease into just stretching muscles, arm weights, and a few minutes on the elliptical. Meditation has also helped me stay positive. It takes daily practice. Don't beat yourself up.


  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited June 2016

    Fran, Please keep us posted with how you are doing with everything. Where are you going in NJ? My mom went to Rutgers recently, and her doc there was fabulous. Luckily, there are lots of good hospitals in the tri state area. It sounds like you're in great hands.

  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited June 2016

    If nothing else, turn on the radio and dance!

  • Fran2014
    Fran2014 Member Posts: 140
    edited June 2016

    Good morning my friends! I do hope that this day finds you all doing well. Lynne, that totally sucks about the foot pain-totally crappy!! h

    I'm actually sitting in my kitchen and laughing as I type this-Yesterday was my 50th birthday and tonight 22 of my family and friends (Girls/ladies ONLY) have rented a "luxury van" to go to dance the night away in Atlantic City (I'm not a big AC person-only get there once a year or so). There is an 80's dance club (yep-I was an 80's girl-big hair and all!!) and I've never been to this place but I'm actually giddy about it!! After I learned earlier this week that the two Herceptin/Perjeta treatments I received are showing "extremely positive" results in my body and both the reg onc. and the radiation onc. agree to "hold off" on chemo and proton radiation until my PET at the end of the month- I said, "Screw it-let's go dance!!!!!". I couldn't believe when my friends/family all worked it out to be able to join me- I'm so very blessed with an amazing support group!! So..as Ksusan said...."turn on the radio (or 80's club music) and DANCE!!!!

    Enjoy the weekend everyone!!!! Big hugs to all!! And if you happen to hear the song "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"-think of me and smile

    Happy

    Love to all,

    Fran

  • Rpayton
    Rpayton Member Posts: 235
    edited June 2016

    Fran, HAPPY, HAPPY 50TH!!! Your birthday celebration is gonna' be awesome. So glad you are getting great news with herceptin! I will just have to pull out some 80s tunes and do a happy dance for you! (My 50th was in Oct). We sure knew how to do the hair, didn't we?! LOL


  • GingerChi
    GingerChi Member Posts: 252
    edited June 2016

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRAN!!!!!!! Sounds like you've got so much fun lined up...good for you!!! I'm a little older..child of the 70's but loved the 80's as well...you girls will have such a good time! Its so good to hear your positive treatment report!!

    I saw the MO this week and she resumed my Herceptin treatments. I have to be monitored by a cardiologist and will see him in 6 weeks. Hoping my EF doesn't drop again so I can FINALLY finish treatment..I would have finished this week had I stayed on schedule. 4 more to go now.

    Renee and Lynne, my feet are a mess too...I feel your pain, literally. I'm going to a podiatrist soon, maybe they can offer some help.

    Its hot as blazes here in the deep south...94 today. Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited June 2016

    Happy Birthday Fran! I hope you party it up! Great news about the response to the Herceptin/Perjeta!!!


  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited June 2016

    Happy birthday!

  • Scarlett152
    Scarlett152 Member Posts: 175
    edited June 2016

    Happy Birthday! Hope you partied "like it's 1999!

  • Fran2014
    Fran2014 Member Posts: 140
    edited June 2016

    Good Morning Everyone!!

    Hope everyone is having a chance to enjoy the start of summer-I certainly am!! School is officially over & I'm thrilled to say that I was able to make it through the end of the school year and watch some of my favorite 8th grade students (out of 14 years) graduate on Monday night (talk about a tearing up). Professionally, it was so very rewarding to have been able to "finish" out three years of watching this group of students transform into incredible young adolescents. On a personal note, my 50th birthday party was a HUGE success! For those of you that live anywhere near South Jersey and like to dance- Boogie Nights in AC was great!! Definitely sends you right back to the 80's. My friends and I had a blast!! Again, I was so grateful that I felt well enough to have the party that I had wanted for the last year filled with tons of laughter, good friends and lots of good times.

    Medically, I'm still "on hold" with beginning the proton radiation as my response to the Herceptin/Perjeta was so positive (at least on the "outside"-both small tumors vanished and the skin on my new boobs looks normal again). I go for another PET scan tomorrow and we will "reevaluate" next week 6/30. This "on again"-"off again" train ride sucks but at least I'm "off again" for a positive reason this time. Of course, if I do need it, my insurance changes as of 7/1 and now I might run into some "challenges" but I'll just take it one day at a time-no sense in worrying about things that I can't control.

    Again, hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy the sunshine!

    Love

    Fran

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited June 2016

    Fran, great news about how well you've responded to the Herceptin/Perjeta!!!!!! Keep us posted. Glad you had a fun party! Happy 50th!!!!

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