Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Sandra, glad to hear Mike is on the mend--though not fully out of the woods, being allowed back into the driver’s seat is HUGE. 61 days down, 39 to go! Sorry Ryan still hasn’t gotten himself into rehab and is depressed again. The mental health system is so screwed up--in giving patients autonomy back in the mid-‘70s, we did them--and their loved ones--a major disservice.

Minus, once again I am frustrated as hell. Does NOBODY bigger than a DD ever get lymphedema? Or is everyone with bc supposed to have mastectomies and/or breast reduction? What about those of us who wear a size 16/18 (XL/1X) dress but also F,G.H or I cups with a 38 or 40 band? There are no bras, camis, or tees I can possibly wear on that WearEase (or any breast cancer clothing) website. I wear a stretch leisure bra at night (Leading Lady) but in order to fit my breast size, I had to buy 40 or 42 in F/G/H---so the back of the band rides up and the girls still hang low like basset-hound ears. (And the dang thing still has darted seams).

When will people wake up and realize that moderately plus-size women with large boobs not only get breast cancer but also often hang on to our breasts????

Humility does not mean false modesty. Humility does not mean taking a back seat. When you take a back seat consciously and deliberately in order to show others how humble you are, you are not being humble at all.
False humility is what slaves show to their masters. Slaves know that if they do not obey their masters blindly, if they do not show this kind of outer humility, the master will punish them.
True humility is something totally different; it is the feeling of oneness. Humility means giving joy to others. Here on earth we want to get joy. But how do we get joy? Real joy we get from self-giving, not by possessing or by showing our own supremacy. When we allow others to get joy, then we feel that our joy is more complete, more perfect, more divine. By making others feel that they are either equally important or more important, we show our true humility.

Sri Chinmoy

Hi All- it finally stopped raining/ although I know we needed it I wish it would only rain at night when I'm asleep- I met with my doctor earlier and showed him exactly where my arm pain is- it is coming from the incision site of the lymph node surgery- he stated that the nerves are regrowing and I would feel better in time- I'm just so sick of feeling lousy- I'm greatful that I have come this far yet again but can't help from feeling down. Have any of you experienced this? I didn't with my last BC and just thought this recouperation would be like that one. Have a nice day

Sandra, great news about Mike's continuing improvement. I know a woman who has had two stem cell transplants, which have extended her life. Currently she is enjoying two small grandchildren. Without the stem cell transplants I don't think she would still be alive.

I played golf this morning. It was quite humid and hot, in the 80's, but an occasional breeze helped out a lot. This afternoon I'm happy to be in the air conditioning. I'm doing two large loads of laundry so that should keep me occupied.

I shop at Walmart's occasionally. Our nearby Winn Dixie has started competing with Walmart's prices and I would rather spend my money there if items are about the same price. The W/D is clean and not usually as crowded as Walmart's.

Jackie, thanks for your "happy face."

Hope you succeeded in getting done with yoru electric co.; I'm starting to hate utilities.

Anne, it's my right arm; while I'm left handed, I do a ton with my right hand, so it's already a small problem. Thanks for your information.

Sandy, my insurance is BCBS HMO, and I've looked up the LANA already. My surgeon recommended a therapist not in my plan, but it looks like there may be 2 others, 1 in S. Elgin and 1 in Algonquin. The other's back in Park Ridge, which is really too far for me to go. That's where I had my biopsy.

I just found out about Congress voting to have it in medicare, and I'm not sure about garments or sleeves yet. A friend lent me 2 breast cancer bras so that's what I use. Geneva is pretty close to me, so I'll head there after I find out what I need. I go to Living Well, a cancer center in Geneva, which is terrific. I see a cancer counselor, got a massage and if I'm not exhausted, there are classes on nutrition, yoga, eating well, cancer support groups. It's amazing.

Before visiting my onc, I wasn't even wearing a bra; it was uncomfortable, so I've been wearing one ever since I saw here. It would be hard for me to sleep in one. I wasn't brought up that way, and I get some relief when I take it off.

Ritajean, thanks for your prayers.

MinusTwo, thanks for the links, I will check them when I'm not so tired.

Sandra, glad to see you post and that Mike is doing well.

A resource for your Ryan might be www.emotionsanonymous.org a 12 step group for people with emotional problems: bipolar, anxiety, anger, everything. I'm a 23+ year member and it's helped me tremendously.

Linda

This is your Pollyanna weather reporter -- darn cloudy and maybe more rain. We had such a storm yesterday afternoon. I had gone to work a few minutes early and as my patient was sleeping --- I left about 10 minutes early --- in time with about 10 mins. to spare beating a wild pour-down which with the deep gray and rain you could see NOTHING outside but a wall of water leaving the sky. Sure hoping that anything today is just a tad better/lighter/ and easier on people who may be outside for some reason and or definitely if they are on the road.

Otherwise, I'm happy enough as such. Have my bills paid for now and keeping on, keeping on. I talked to my friend ( I'm her cat-sitter when she takes a trip ) and she will start end of next week and be gone for 7 days. I should be able to do her just fine --- she only lives about a block from where my patient is at the Manor. As well, the week after she gets back I will be going to the Manor and then going over several times a day to check on the two little dogs where I work when my patient is at home. My bosses will be gone for about four days for a graduation out of state --- and rather than putting the dogs ( which I get along with VERY well ) in a kennel, they will be left at home for me to see too. So, I will get a bit of a bigger pay for it. Though I will appreciate the pay part -- I would do it for nothing to keep the dogs out of a kennel. They ( even though the dogs will spend a fair amt. of time alone ) will likely get far more attention from me since they will be the ONLY ones needing and getting attention --- and I will go over three or four times a day. Thinking of spending a night or two there as well, but we will see. Depends on how the days go.

Well onward. See you all later.

Jackie

Wow Anne, I guess much of it is relative but I and maybe many of us would not feel like we would have a chance of coping with what you walk through and barely seemed fazed. I know it is not that easy for you, but yet I'd be a total wreck since the last few yrs. I seem to have real limits on what used to seem like endless patience. At least, listening to you GETS me to think about trying to be mindful about when things aren't going quite as I wish and if I at least think before I tie myself in knots and say something I might regret, then it is a good thing.

I hope in short order, things quiet down for you. Your concern seems to actually help you focus -- often I feel more un-certain and scattered. Guess older age plus some harsh disease processes have put me in a spot where if I don't have the same circumstances which are rote -- then I'm often lost and needing a little help to define where I need to be and do. Oh well, I'm here to complain about it so how bad is it really -- not bad at all. The alternative is real punk.

Going to work in a bit. See ya'll later.

Jackie

We had a monster storm overnight--fortunately, no trees damaged, no deck furniture upset, and the plants in pots that need to go into planters tomorrow stayed upright. But today was GORGEOUS! High in the mid-60s, dry as a bone, clear as a bell except for some pretty clouds. Perfect evening to walk to & from a wine dinner at our local restaurant. Tomorrow is supposed to be rainy again--of course, the only day my housekeeper & I can transplant those tomatoes, strawberries & basil plants before she takes off all next week for major dental work (extractions, new dentures) and I have to travel--overnight Sat. to Iowa City for a concert I’m doing; then flying to Charlotte Wed. for a 5-day music conference in the Blue Ridge an hour e. of Asheville (SW doesn’t fly to Asheville, so I’m flying into & out of CLT and renting a car--cheaper than driving there and back to Chicago) and then to give a benefit concert our own HappyHammer arranged in Hickory to raise funds for the Vital Touch program (free spa services to bc patients) at the Vitality Spa there. Mustlovepoodles and her DH are coming too! I don’t approve of what the NC legislature & gov. have done, but I don’t want to penalize a worthy cause (and both the organization holding the folk music conference and the center hosting it also oppose that legislation).

I’ve driven to & from Iowa City since my surgery--just before starting radiation, in fact, while I still had sutures holding my ruptured SNB incision together. Only 4 hrs. each way--not hard, and I only need to bring my meds, as I keep an overnight gym bag in the car. (I draw the line at driving 4 hrs, playing 2 hrs, and then turning around and driving back home to Chicago 4 hrs. in the dead of night--treating myself to a hotel room). But as to my NC trip, that drive is a long one solo even in the best of health: Chi-Cincy the first day, Cincy-Knoxville the second, Knoxville-Montreat (Black Mountain) the third. If I cut it to two days, I’d be driving at night on unlit mountain roads. Not with these 65-yr-old eyes, thank you very much. Last time I did it was two years ago--had planned to go last year but Bob had his surgical emergency. And this year, instead of turning around and heading home after the conference, I’d have to drive home not from Montreat but Hickory--three full days. Hence my decision to fly & rent a car. Saves me 4-5 hotel room nights en route both ways, days of meals and goodness knows how many tanks of gas! (And I’m using frequent flyer miles and Hertz points too). Plus, this way I’ll be home when Bob’s lung CT results come in. We have a rule in this house we’d like to keep--one spousal health crisis at a time. "No crises" would be even better.

Jackie, I actually fit quite well into my normal underwire and sleep bras. Because of American mfrs. refusing to make anything larger than a DDD cup (if even that big), I buy European ones. At first, I had to go to the same pricey boutique Oprah used (Intimacy, now called Rigby & Peller). But once I got properly fitted, I found the same bras in different colors online at BareNecessities, Figleaves, and HerRoom for much less. The irony is that while American bras in DDD tend to come in black, white and maybe beige, I can find all manner of sexy, lacy, or seamless E-through-K cup bras in myriad colors and styles. The downside, of course, is that I can’t just walk into Target or Kohl’s (I refuse to shop at Walmart if at all possible) or even Lane Bryant or Macy’s and walk out with a pretty bra that fits me--some Nordstrom’s stores carry some Elomi bras in H or I, but that’s pretty rare.....and they charge an arm and a leg. I dress in such a way that you can’t really tell I’m “leading with my chest;” but let me tell you, when I was a B in jr. high and then a C & D in high school it was hell. I couldn’t wear all the cute little jr. petite outfits--I had to buy women’s and have the wrists and waists taken in. (Except for my bust, until about age 13 I was very, very underweight). Pregnancy took my bra size into a range that could easily be mistaken for really lousy arena-concert seats. What I find frustrating now is that if I need a compression bra (and, if it ever comes to that, a mastectomy bra and a form), they just don’t make them in my size--I would have to pay a fortune for a custom-made compression bra; and if I ever had a mastectomy w/o recon, I would definitely have to.get my other breast reduced to a normal size (or removed as well). I have to shake my head when young girls tell plastic surgeons they’d like to be enlarged to DD--I’d be deliriously happy to be reduced to that!

ChiSandy, I remember a couple of magazine photos showing 2 women in the same dress. One was sort of slumped and the other had her chest stuck out. I said the difference was the slumped woman's breasts were the originals and the check stuck out woman had just had augmentation. I never was as large as you, but enough that clothing was difficult to find. Now my belly is the same size as my boobs. Love that Arimidex.

Got my letter from Metlife yesterday, they're refusing my claim for Lew's life insurance policy. They can't find verification of the form I sent them that he signed in 1998. The company changed from U.S. West to Qwest to Century Link over the years. I'm sure they sent him some form to sign to update his beneficiary information which he probably never even opened. When I called it sounded like it'll go to his 3 living children instead. They can certainly use the money, but it still irks me knowing that wasn't his intention.

" I OFTEN DON'T SEE MYSELF AS OLDER:

YOU FORGET BECAUSE INSIDE YOU STAY THE SAME."

*Good Morning*

*VSB2015* *Ade* *Nanagirl* *jnu3* *2ND20* *Sunnyone22* *dtad*, Hi and Welcome!!

___________________________________________________________________________

Puffin, I too hope you will try to get a hold of someone higher up in the Insurance Company. I do think if you are for sure, that no matter the eventual outcome, it would be nice to have things as Lew actually envisioned them.

Sunny/Chevy, don't know where you found THAT wisdom about aging but I don't think it could be MORE true. I do keep reminding myself ( like I'm proud ot it which is not quite the case ) how old I am because it just doesn't feel like the impression I had of people when I was a lot younger who had gotten to this age. Those people ( can't recall exactly who they were or are, oops !!! ) looked old. They had wrinkles I don't ( ah, do I ) and they were forgetful and often just not able to do things. Why, if I chewed gum, which I don't, I could do it and walk too. I'm sure there are some things I can still multi-task as well -- like making sure the soap is in the shower as I turn it on.

Fact is ( though I will admit he is 6 yrs. older ) I look at Dh and to me he is the one who seems sooo much older. Well, maybe it is the Creator's way of helping me gentle into the idea that I'm going to get there --- and it will just take 6 yrs. In that sense, I'm pretty close already.

Jackie

Jackie, that article was in the AARP magazine! Sally Field talked about her life, and what she is doing now... and it really DID hit the nail on the head. You don't "change" how you feel, just because you get older.... I know my friend Theresa is the craziest little Italian you could ever meet... She is 91, and still just as feisty as she was 30 years ago....

She just can't get around as well as she used to... She used to tap-dance with a group... and now, some of that group come to the Assisted Living, and try and dance for the other older folks! She plays bingo, does "king-chow" or whatever it is... and the BEST part, is she still has her hair done every week.... either by the staff at the place, or to her shop, where she used to go. And she puts on her "rouge" and lip-gloss.... "Never know when I might run into somebody" she says.

She has never driven, so her DIL or her Son take her somewhere a lot! I told her I want to be just like her when I grow up.... I have known her since I was about 10.... Lived about a 1/2 block away from where we live now... And she and her family lived up the street from where we are now.

I'm so lucky to have "older" people in my life, as well as the 2 little neighbor girls... 4 & 6... I went over to stay with them one morning, while their folks ran to a church to set up a "sale"... Little Ellie crawled up on my lap, and snuggled in my fleece jacket, and I rocked her & watched TV... Then little Ivy woke up, and she laid down on the sofa, with their little dog.... we TRIED to change channels, and boy did we screw THAT up.... Ha! 2 remote controls, and I think the girls knew more about what was going on than I did!

But I fixed their Cheerio's and sat & watched how cute they are! Daddy came back to get them dressed to go back to the Church, and I had to go home... Back to fixing us breakfast, and playing wifely stuff.... Ha!

To be a beneficial presence in the world,
cultivate a conscious awareness of your unity with Spirit.
Expect good in your own life.
Desire good for all others as well.
See and affirm abundant blessings of peace,
health, and plenty for everyone.
Align your thoughts with peace and happiness,
and realize that these qualities are your true nature.
- Kathy Juline