Huge decisions

I know that if it was me I would have the preventative mastectomy, because I could not deal with the anxiety and constant checks and worrying. I'm not saying that's the best decision for everybody. Mastectomy with tissue expander placement is hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I've had a C-section and hysterectomy with ovaries removed as well as some minor surgeries and I've never had such a long recovery time. It's not painful just requires a whole lot of patience and a lot of time off work. The lost sensation is a big sacrifice as well.

If your lump turns out to be benign you don't have to be in a big hurry to make your decision. I'm a workaholic and I've been off work for months. That has been the hardest part for me. If I could have taken the time to save up enough $ to get me through this time a little more easily, I would have. I had a skin-sparing mastectomy and I really don't think my scars are going to be bad. Some people scar worse than others. The mastectomy certainly was not unbearably painful for me, but I wasn't trying to take care of toddlers and my husband was with me for the first 2 weeks, doing all the housework etc. For at several days I alternated valium and pain meds every 2 hours and slept about 15 hours per day for 2 weeks. I made the mistake of overdoing things after and I'm pretty sure that's what led to me getting a large seroma and going back to surgery and having to have 6 more weeks off work. My granddaughter also jumped on my left foob, where I was having healing issues already, and my incision opened up 4 weeks after the surgery.

What I'm trying to say is that I have not been suffering and I don't think my body will look badly disfigured in the end, but it's a long recovery and it's absolutely necessary to observe all of the activity restrictions. It's hard to observe those restrictions with toddlers around. It's a long row to hoe.