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Morwenna
Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
edited May 2016 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

I'm more than 3 years out from my stage IIIa triple negative diagnosis. I got very despondent last fall with a number of friends with recurrence and attended 2 funerals.

I had had a cough bothering me for a while, and in October I thought I could palpate supraclavicular nodes. My GP put me on antidepressants and sent me to a counselor.

The counselor advised me to get checked out (bless him), and once ultrasound and CT scan came back NAD I felt better and stopped the antidepressants immediately! I had radiation and also 2 lung clots since diagnosis so along with reflux disease there's probably several possible causes for a mild chronic cough!

I was very tired by Christmas and since then cut back on some of my singing activities, which I felt was sad but sensible.

For the last 3 weeks or so I have had a dull ache on taking a deep breath, eg to yawn, and my wheezy cough seems to be more marked. I'm back to prodding about for lumps and seem to feel lumpy in my axilla as well as the supraclavicular area.

Unless it is all a product of my fevered imagination? But this time I do feel more ill than anxious. I had to quit my dragon boat training early this week due to getting really lightheaded and overly sweating. Oh and night sweats ...... I thought I was done with those some time ago!

Anyhow. I'm seeing someone at the breast cancer clinic on Tuesday and now I've told somebody I'm worried it seems even more real.😕

Sorry. Long post. Just want some handholding please nicely. xx

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2016

    Holding your hand Morwenna. I know how difficult it is to sort out new symptoms. Gentle hugs to you...you're not alone. I'll be in your pocket on Tuesday. Please let us know how it goes.

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited April 2016

    Morwenna,

    Sorry you are dealing with this scare. I was where you are about 6 weeks ago. Everyday I told myself I was imagining these symptoms. I wanted that to be the truth. Arrrg, liver mets, extensive. Just had my 2nd chemo.

    I would imagine you have scar tissue due to the blood clots. I hope & wish that your fears will be put to rest next week. Holding your hand, this is never easy.

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited April 2016
    It sounds as t hough you've had a rough winter, Morwenna. I hope and pray that Tuesday brings some helpful insights and that good news follows soon from any scans, etc. Hang in there.
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  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited April 2016

    Morwena, I will be in your pocket too. I will be praying for you as well.

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited April 2016

    Thanks for the support ladies. I'm more anxious now that I've actually made the appointment to get checked out!

    Just have to keep a lid on it until I see what the doctor thinks on Tuesday, but I have a terrible tendency to blurt everything out. Awkward! Lol.

    Just called my dad in the UK and managed to sound "bouncy " apparently, so ..... YAY me!

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited April 2016

    Hope there's some room in your pocket for us Mods, too. We're all here for you and thinking of you, Morwena!

    Keep us posted on how Tuesday goes.

    ((((BIG HUGS))))

    The Mods

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited April 2016

    Morwennakeep us posted on how it goes.

    Holes one, sorry you are dealing with mets. I hope the chemo is working.

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited April 2016

    Morwenna

    I can remember you posting on my thread when I was so concerned about a lung nodule that turned out to be nothing. You were so kind and supportive. I wish you the best with your appointment. It sounds like your lungs have been through a lot and as a fellow Calgarian, I know how incredably dry our climate is. I think it is even worse this year with all the warm weather we are having! Good luck next week, we are all thinking of you!

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  • slv58
    slv58 Member Posts: 1,216
    edited April 2016

    Mowenna, hope your wearing big pockets- I'm jumping in. I know how hard it is to wait so hopefully your keeping busy. I always find that the process between admitting to yourself that there is something that requires that phone call and waiting for the appointment is the hardest. Hoping for a quick wait and know your surrounded with all your BC sisters!

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  • lalady1
    lalady1 Member Posts: 618
    edited April 2016

    Mowena - sending you good thoughts. You need a kangaroo pouch for all of us jumping in your pockets. lol We are here for you. Please let us know what happens this week. Holeinone - so sorry about liver mets. I wound up with lung mets on Xmas eve. :)

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited April 2016

    Had a nice day out with my dh today and came face to face with this guy! Why the long face??

    image

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited April 2016

    So to update: Saw the doctor today at Breast Cancer Supportive Care, Calgary, and there was nothing exciting to find on physical exam, although possible "fullness" in the axilla on my cancer side.

    However, she thought my symptoms serious enough to warrant investigation so I'm booked for an abdominal ultrasound and chest X-ray tomorrow as a starter, and then probably a CT to be arranged.

    I had blood work yesterday which showed elevated red blood cells and hemoglobin count together with elevated platelets. My platelets have been high from the get go (1000 in 2012 at time of Ca diagnosis), but have been hovering just above normal limits since chemo. In my own mind the high platelets are a marker, and I was sure that if they ever shot up again it would be a sign of recurrence!

    So. I did suggest wait and see when the doc found nothing much on physical, but she felt that was not wise. 😕

    I have a question for holeinone. ...... Was your liver palpable on physical exam, or how were the mets diagnosed?

    I'm feeling a little sick just now.

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited April 2016

    Hugs Morwenna.

    Thinking of you.

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  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited April 2016
    Thinking of you, too, tonight, Morwenna. thank you for the update.
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  • HolaSandy
    HolaSandy Member Posts: 85
    edited April 2016

    Morwenna,

    Keeping you in my thoughts tonight and hoping for good news for you

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited April 2016

    Keep us posted!!!

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  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited April 2016

    Morwena, how did the chest x-ray and US go yesterday?

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited April 2016

    I see the doctor tomorrow at 9.00 to get results. Feeling nauseated.

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  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited April 2016

    I will be in your pocket tomorrow!!!

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited April 2016

    Thinking of you ! Hugs. 😘🙏

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited April 2016

    Well I just got a call from the doctor re my results. Chest X-ray and abdominal ultrasound show NO SIGN OF CANCER! So YAY.

    Not sure what is the cause for my general malaise and fatigue but I'm starting to believe that my anxiety plays a large part ...... though I do still have some slightly odd blood results to account for.

    Urgh, I hate this whole business. Roll on my 5 years mark. Maybe I will finally believe I am cancer free!

    Thanks all for your support and not just telling me to "think positive" and "don't go there!" ☺

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited April 2016

    Oh, Morwenna, I'm so relieved. YAY for good reports!

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  • Molly50
    Molly50 Member Posts: 3,773
    edited April 2016

    What a relief!!!

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  • shoppygirl
    shoppygirl Member Posts: 694
    edited April 2016

    So relieved and happy for you!!

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  • HolaSandy
    HolaSandy Member Posts: 85
    edited April 2016

    Morwenna, I am so happy to hear this! Now go have a nice, relaxing weekend!!

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  • Jennie93
    Jennie93 Member Posts: 1,018
    edited April 2016

    Just a thought, my blood counts have been wonky ever since chemo, never did go back to normal. And goodness knows, anxiety can cause stuff like fatigue, lightheadedness, and other weird physical symptoms. Maybe you had some kind of lung infection, which caused some of the symptoms, which caused anxiety, which caused more symptoms, which led to more anxiety....... Understandable, indeed?

    So relieved to hear your good news. And we all totally understand.



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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited April 2016

    Morwenna, sounds like things are going well. I am happy for you.

    My liver became painful, enlarged & felt like I was touching a rib. Pressing on stomach & bladder. After about 3 weeks of Freaking out I went to my RO. Then ultrasound, CAT scan & liver biopsy.

    I totally agree, anxiety can cause numerous symptoms

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited April 2016

    Glad to hear the "all clear" for you. As others have well stated, you have been through a real ordeal, and everyone I'm sure, understands the anxiety of feeling unsure about recurrence.

    I'm wondering what the downside would be, of staying on some kind of antidepressant, until you feel a bit more secure in the future? It certainly wouldn't be a sign of weakness, to use whatever helps get you through. Everyone has their own timeline of when they feel like they have solid ground under them, but the fears and worries can take a huge toll until you get there.


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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited April 2016

    Very happy to hear you got the all clear, Mo.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited April 2016

    Morwenna, Great news!


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