Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

Our cats as babies - they are now 18 months…brother and sister rescues:)

I have Microcalifactions in my righ breast, had a needle core biopsy, and they said that I have ADH and found some precancerous cells. They sent me to a Surgeon and I am having a wire guided excisional biopsy (lumpectomy) on May 13,2016. I am told that 85% of the time it comes back not cancer or dcis. My mom had breast cancer at age 43, I am 41. Im just wondering why the need for a lumpectomy, if 85% of them come back okay. Also im nervous about the surgery. How is it after a lumpectomy ?

Thank you, And my Mom also says to listen to the Doctors about the lumpectomy. ADH is Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia which is like fast growing cells i guess. But thank you very much for the information. And I wil post my expierence after the procedure.

Hi everyone - I was away yesterday/last night and what a cache of posts I've opened this morning - everything from lumpectomies to new refrigerators to cat pictures - I love this site!! lol

It's interesting to see the posts from the brand new people and thinking that was me just a few weeks ago. It becomes a distant memory in no time at all. My lumpectomy seems months ago and yet it was a mere six weeks or so. I feel completely back to normal and have to remind myself that I haven't started treatment yet - oh yeah, it's not over quite yet, I still have stuff to do!

My MO's office called yesterday to have me come in next Thursday - it's only been 9 days since I was there last and we decided to do the Oncotype test; the results can't be in yet, so she must expect that the results will be in by then. Naturally, that's the day we were going to be four hours away moving my elder daughter home from university or I should say "college" for my American friends so she'll have to take the train home and we'll go back at some point to pack up the car with the stuff she needs for the summer. I need a wife. Or a husband who doesn't work in the US during the week.

Anyway, I am eager to just get on with treatment and then move on. I'll do whatever I need to do - as all of you have done with grace and humor - there is great peace in knowing the cancer was removed during the lumpectomy and that's the most important thing for me at the moment. Now to kill off those little cells staying too long at the party.

I'm a little pived at my DH. I said I would like him around today and he decided to go to the Tigers game. I feel bad at being pived at my DH because I know he just wants to have fun and this has been stressful for him too. I need to let it go and let him be with the guys.

My mom hasn't talked to me since Feb. because of a fight she had with my sister. (Long story!) This is nothing new with my mom, she does this frequently. She hasn't returned any of my phone calls and I stopped calling because I know her pattern. I wrote a letter just letting her and my dad know of my diagnosis and surgery. She is my dad's care taker, he suffers from beginning stages of dementia and depression. She calls at 8:00 this morning hysterical ( I let it go into voice mail ) about getting my letter and some letter she sent me that she wished she hadn't. I'm not sure when I'll call her back. Don't know how much drama I'm up for today. I want to keep my parents informed but my mom can drag a lot of negativity into things. I'm just not sure how to handle this situation with her. Any advice?

Thanks Peggy - splitting ourselves into two or three selves is what women always seem to be doing! With my younger daughter off to university this Fall, and assuming my life will be back to 'normal' by then, I'll be able to spend time (finally) with my husband in Boston where he lives during the week. While my friends joke that our seeing each other only 2-3 days a week is the secret to our very happy marriage, it will be so nice to spend a little more time together. I kind of like that we have one foot in Canada and one in the US. Best of both worlds.

Heathet, I'm sorry you have so much emotional stuff going on with your mom right now - stressful!! Not what you need right now. My opinion is that you should set up boundaries right off the bat - for what you need and don't need and ask that they be respected for your well being.

My mom is 92 and slowly starting to decline (she's been a Betty White 90 yr old until lately so she - and we - have been very fortunate). She lives two hours away from me so I haven't told her a thing about my diagnosis yet as I'm sure it would finish her off (the worry, and she would just fixate on my situation). We talk on the phone several times a week and get together occasionally, and I'm my usual peppy self, so she's none the wiser. Obviously, if I have to go the chemo route, well, I figure that's a little hard to hide as the hair loss would "out" me, but my brothers agree that it's best for her well being (and mine) to not have to worry about me at this stage of the game. I think we all should just give up the amount of information to friends and family that is necessary at any given time. Will it help or will it hurt for someone to know (my brother's sage advice). All of these decisions are so personal and we all do what we think is best.

I'm off to get a hair cut soon and all I can think of is "will this be my last one for a while". Oh my. No point in wasting time on colouring today - haha! Have a good day everyone.

thank you everyone for the support! It's a good feeling knowing I can share all these ups and downs with people that understand. Today my goal is to keep it low key and stress free. I'm thinking of heading to Barnes and Nobles to purchase a few books, one is doctor Susan love's book breast, a few good reads for my recovery timeand some inspirational books.

LTF and Moondust- we got some good vibes going into our last chemo and first chemo plans:)

I told Melclarity that we worried about her like typical mothers. Haha. Mel, you are always so cheerful and positive that you are sooooo missed when you are absent. But, I do understand about needing breaks!

Grazy - Hoping for low Oncotest score for you!

Catzpjays - Welcome! Glad your surgery went well!

Peggy - I might have missed your post, but do you have a move date yet? Getting excited?

Heathet - In this forum, we tell our experiences and give advice, and members can take it or leave it. So, I'm going to give you a different perspective about moms. Your mom loves you, and somewhere in her life she learned to play mind games to hurt the people she loves in order to get sympathy, satisfaction, to get even or whatever. She's trying to to fillI a need in a weird way. With that said, you can never go wrong with love. She may frustrate the hell out of you, so take a breath and without showing frustration (like she does), just say, "I need to run some errands. Love you." Then hang up the phone or kiss her goodbye. My mom died 2 years ago from cancer. We had a good relationship because no matter how much we might have frustrated each other, we LET IT GO and didn't hold grudges the next time we talked. If one of us said something mean, the other would say right then, "Aww, that sounded mean," and if we had to leave to "run errands" to prevent a fight, we did. Then, we'd start fresh next time KNOWING that we really loved each other and we were being mean because we had some inside need to get even, get sympathy, or whatever. When my mom got sick and had to be on chemo, her filter wasn't there and it was all I could do to LET THINGS GO because she didn't. Kit was one-sided forgiveness, but I'll never regret it. Ever. I know I was a good daughter, I know she loved me, and I have no regrets. So my advice is to be the bigger person and don't take on her trait of being petty. Love your mom and keep visits short if necessary. No regrets, no need to try to get back at her. I hope my story gives you balance and strength to deal with frustrating people. Good luck.

Good luck with your sim today, iammags! My RO was a tiny little woman. Mel!! So happy to see you. It was the mother hen in me worry about you. I love that you are just living life joyfully. You inspire me to do the same. Heathet, I am sorry you don't feel supported at home. My dad died over two years ago and my mom is in end stage Alzheimers. I really missed them during this cancer episode. I hope your mom puts her own self aside and becomes a cheerleader for you. I loved all the kitty photos everyone! I have always had cats. I love them. Not a huge dog person but we have a dog as well. DH and DD are the dog people.

Sloan, the movers are coming June 17th. Now to get my house here sold. Obviously I don't want the new owners to take possession until after my move date but I'd like to have everything set.

Molly, you're right. I definitely feel like a mother hen watching over her chicks, MelClarity this time.

IamMags, hoping your sims go smoothly and quickly! Let us know if you get tattoos. You can be a biker gal then, too!

HUGS!

Waving hi to Jan!!

Heathet, I am here to commiserate with you about our mothers. My mother is 81 and VERY independent. She is opinionated and extremely stubborn, so once she has made her mind up about something, it's gospel. I have one sister and a couple of nieces and nephews who live within 20 minutes of her. The rest of us live many hours drive or flight away, so we cannot be there to help Mother regularly. I live about 450 miles away and with this BC stuff, sometimes I just don't have anymore energy left for dealing with her.

Anyway, some days Mother gets on a tear and she's just floundering all over the place, very dramatic. She refuses to let anyone help her with anything, but she loves to complain about everything that's going wrong at her house, camper, etc. Last night I needed to call my sister in MS who is having a hard time with a graduating HS senior with Aspergers (yowza!) and my mother who is giving everyone else a hard time. I told my husband that I didn't think I had that much blood to give. So I put off Mother and called my sister. I feel guilty today, but not guilty enough to call Mother yet. I'm kinda hoping that when I call it will go to voice mail. Then she'll know I called, but I won't be on the phone with her for 90 min talking about her cat, her dog, her handyman, and all the friends I've never met but she wants me to know their entire medical history, LOL.

I really, really, really hope that I will not be like this when I'm in my 80s. I'm trying hard to be compassionate--I know it must be very hard to be an 81yo widow, living alone, watching your siblings and friends die off. That can't be easy. But I know my mother and some of her behaviors have been going on for many, many years (I'm almost 60), so I know that nothing is going to change there. All I can do is determine how I will react to her misbehavior and drama, and still love her all the time. Good Luck to you, too.

In 12 days my mom will have been gone ten years. I still miss her so much that my first instinct when checking into a hotel room is to call her to let her know I've arrived safely. But in a way I'm glad she hasn't had to be here for me, because she always suffered so much whenever my sister, our husbands or our kids were sick. When there was a time a dozen years ago when doctors thought I was facing either brain or bone cancer or both, I never let on because I knew she'd worry herself heartsick.

My younger kitty Happy (a ginger patch-tabby) is finally on the mend after a paradoxical reaction to dental anesthesia that caused him to hallucinate, crash into walls and bruise a hip, and then get kidney impairment from being dehydrated due to being in too much pain to get to the water bowl & litter box (we moved them closer to him and Gordy actually fed him water with a dental irrigation syringe). His big sister Heidi is black with jade-green eyes.

Down here at a spa resort outside San Antonio while Bob is attending the Mayo Clinic's "Echo Fiesta" conference. Going to get a massage or facial this afternoon--if a massage I will have to clue the therapist in as to what NOT to do to my right arm lest my LE flare up. And no sauna, schvitz or hot tub for me--just a little eucalyptus oil in the shower. (If you can't find any, a blob of Noxzema on the tub floor is almost as good). Bob wants to go to the Riverwalk tonight for either Mexican or nouvelle-Southwestern (Boudro's?) for dinner. I was hoping to find some hill country winery tours, but apparently we're too far from the actual wine country to make driving safe. Will have to wait till Tuscany in July (our vacation condo resort is on the grounds of a vineyard).

Molly and Sloan - My lovely concerned Mums LOL, too sweet!!! Sloan sent a PM, I took this butt off the radar and it was lovely just immersing myself back into a better life, its good to be alive!!!!

Back again LOL hope everyone is doing the best they can no matter what your day is today..surgery, rads, chemo or just some great healing today.

Orknitter - DCIS well its a strange one, it is actually precancer it is not cancer, it is the earliest possible stage, what it tells the professionals is that this is the precursor and a good indication that it most likely will turn into malignant cancer. So think of it as cells, precancerous cells. This is what I had 4yrs ago, and they treated it very aggressively, lx, rads and tamoxifen 4yrs but go figure I got a 2.5cm tumor grade 3 aggressive in the space of a year in between my yearly checkup, I would never have found it as it was in the scar tissue from the lx. In the scheme of things, it is ALL Cancer...but it is the earliest dx of it. There has been a dramatic rise in mastectomy especially in the U.S. choosing this for DCIS, which medical professionals have said is not necessary.

Ladies I hear alot of you say you are in 'remission' I just want to throw this out there....instead start saying the 'Cancer has gone' Its a play on words, and power of positive minds...but if I say 'I am in remission, it gives it permission to come back' So my fellow Warriors!!! WE are kicking butt!!!! our surgeries, our treatments...as we move forward...keep saying 'the Cancer is gone'. Namaste!!