Thinking Positively

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  • singlemom1
    singlemom1 Member Posts: 434
    edited January 2016

    thank you artistaheart!

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited January 2016

    Yes Spicy, random acts of kindness are from the heart and true blue. You saved someone from possible calamity! Getting out for that fitness can be extremely difficult. For me it has been raining and freezing so I am not very motivated. However it looks like the sun is coming out.......So what I will do for myself; try out new snowshoes even if it is only in my own backyard. What I'm doing for DH; all the bookwork and bills so he can come home and watch football instead. What someone did for me; A friend took me out for a virgin "cocktail" and appetizers last night. Happy Saturday!

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  • lulubee
    lulubee Member Posts: 1,493
    edited January 2016

    1) One thing that somebody did for me (or somebody else) that made me (or that person) happy:

    My husband brought me hot coffee in bed this cold morning. For me, this is a little act of kindness that makes me very happy and can change my whole day.

    2) One thing I did that made somebody else happy:

    I cleaned up my big mess of procrastinations that have been piling up in the corner of our bedroom for months.This made my husband happy (now he had better tidy up HIS corner, though! LOL).

    3) One thing I did that made myself happy

    Well, get this! I got kinda sassy and set up a little studio for myself in the spare bedroom! I made a resolution to let myself play more with art journalling and writing this year-- this is an important part of the self-care puzzle for me, and I let it slip last year. My little studio is simple, but cozy. I moved a metal top table in here, but then I started thinking how happy I am when I can work on more than one thing at a time and yet keep my projects separated-- so I rearranged until I figured out how to fit in an old gate-leg table we were about to discard-- it's really dinged up, but that's perfect for making paint messes without guilt! TWO tables-- yay! I have beautiful music streaming from a bluetooth speaker, some fairy lights twinkling, a comfy futon with lots of cushions along one wall for reading and dreaming and praying, a sheepskin rug for my sensitive feet (Xeloda!), and an essential oil diffuser making it all smell like a spa. Feels so good to finally have a little clubhouse for ME to play in. ;-D

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  • jobur
    jobur Member Posts: 726
    edited January 2016

    Something someone did that made me happy - My 94 year old Mom who suffers from dementia managed to get herself showered and dressed before DH and I came to visit. It was so good to see her up and dressed, this doesn't happen very often.

    Something I did that made someone else happy - Took Mom out to dinner. She knew just what she wanted and ordered pie too!

    Something I did that made me happy - Let DH drive most of the 2 hour trip home while I relaxed.

    I love this thread too. Even if I don't post, I try to give some thought every day to this idea. It is helping to make me more aware of things to be happy about and a guide as to how to spend my time.

    lulubee - I love your description of your "playhouse" and can tell it is going to make you very happy. Hmm, if men have "man caves" what do women have?

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited January 2016

    Something someone did for me- After too many rainy day recesses ( kids need to get out and move!), my PE parent, rather than cancelling on a very rainy afternoons, planned a wonderful indoor recess for my students. She had them moving, dancing, sitting on top of their desks and laughing. Thank you, JL for your creativity and thinking outside of the playground.

    Something I did for someone else- I went through my wardrobe and found lots of cold weather (at least by CA standards) clothes in good condition. Took them to a park with a large homeless population and folks happily took them. I have done this quite a few times before and like the direct aspect of it.

    Something I did for myself- Ordered my first handmade corset.Yes, it was on sale but still not inexpensive. It is just a beautiful garment. And no, well made, well fitted corsets are not uncomfortable

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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited January 2016

    Something someone did for me: My DH gave me a huge hug and kiss and thanked me for being by his side and advocating for him during his recent 30-day hospitalization. We both had tears in our eyes.

    Something I did for someone else: I made my DH the filet mignon dinner that he requested for his birthday even though I knew his appetite hasn't returned to the point where he would eat much of it.

    Something I did for myself: I took a relaxing bubble bath, something I hadn't done for ages. It felt really good.

    Lynne

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  • lulubee
    lulubee Member Posts: 1,493
    edited January 2016

    exbrnxgirl, would you believe I made 3 fully-boned corsets by hand once? In 2004, for a trip to Williamsburg with my two daughters. You're right, they are not uncomfortable once you figure out how to adapt to the shift in posture. Might even help with bone mets pain at times, who knows?

    Is yours for a specific purpose?

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited January 2016

    I love your whole description of your studio space. Made me want to go back to mine and add some aroma therapy, twinkling lights and a luxurious rug! jobur, just hearing about your 94 year old Mom eating pie makes me think she is pretty adorable....Caryn, those indoor recesses are a bummer! Lynne, Yo and your DH remind me of us as he went through his own illness 3 years ago. What someone did for me: My DH showed up to my Dr. appt even though it was routine stuff. He knew my bum would be sore so took me to Starbuck's then to walk around for awhile. What I did for someone else: Made DH the dinner he wanted then scratched his back for awhile. Something I did for myself: Worked on my art!

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited January 2016

    hi lulubee,

    No specific purpose. I just love the way they look, the support for good posture and the feeling of a "hug" that they give. I like my small waist too, but I'm not continually sizing down. I am not a sewer so you have my great admiration. I can't even imagine the precision required to sew the boning channels!

    Caryn

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  • singlemom1
    singlemom1 Member Posts: 434
    edited January 2016

    someone did for me- friends called me to check in as I had first scan yesterday. Results will be Thursday.

    I did for someone else- listened and helped friend with a problem she is having with her family. Spent an hour and half listening and providing support.

    For myself - can't think of anything. This is great as it brings to my attention that I have not nurtured myself recently and I need to change that!

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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited January 2016

    Something someone did for me: One of my sons, who lives in NY, called just to see how I am doing and to tell me he loves me.

    Something I did for someone else: I sent a note to my son and his family, who live in Boston, thanking them for all the support they provided during my husband's hospitalization.

    Something I did for myself: I bought some new sheets, washed them, and put them on my bed. It was so good to feel those nice to sheets when I went to bed.

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  • Becs511
    Becs511 Member Posts: 303
    edited January 2016

    1) One thing that somebody did for me (or somebody else) that made me (or that person) happy: My sister-in-law works for a top beauty company and surprised me with a whole bunch of make up and skin care products. I am a product junkie so it was like Christmas (or really in my case Hanukkah!).

    2) One thing I did that made somebody else happy- I randomly told a woman on the subway that I loved her haircut. It was just perfect for her. I had been thinking it but realized it would probably make her day if I interrupted her morning commute zen to tell her.

    3) One thing I did that made myself happy- I bought myself a new winter coat. My old one was leaving down feathers on everything. I would take it off and there would be feathers all over my clothes. Not good!

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited January 2016

    1. My friend from 4th grade -college came to visit me and went with me to chemo yesterday. We had 3 great days and it perked me up.

    2. At chemo yesterday I held another patients hand and comforted her.

    3. My friend got my road bike set up on a trainer inside so I can spin in the house and not worry about outside crashes. Ha ha

    image

    Life is good. 🚴🏻

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited January 2016

    Diane, you have inspired me to get a trainer for my bike as well! I am trying sooo hard to get back to moving any way I can and miss my bike in winter. Great idea!. 1. For me: My hubby went with me to try out my new snow shoes in case I was a total clod and needed a hand. For someone else: I covered my coworkers butt so she could take two extra days in Spain. 3. For myself, just going snowshoeing again after work.

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  • lulubee
    lulubee Member Posts: 1,493
    edited January 2016

    1) One thing that somebody did for me

    My daughter had a long meeting today, so she let me keep my adorable 15 mo old granddaughter from 10am till 3pm.

    2) One thing I did that made somebody else happy

    See #1.

    3) One thing I did that made myself happy

    See #2.

    :-D

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited January 2016

    diana, fabulous photo and how great to be able to use the bike inside!

    Becs, I also on occasion give random compliments to people I run into that I don't know. If someone is in a store trying on coat or something and I think it looks nice, I will tell them, or if they've got a big bouquet or pot of flowers in a shopping cart, I'll say, oh those flowers are gorgeous.

    lulu, cute post!

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  • Longtermsurvivor
    Longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,438
    edited January 2016

    Thank you for this topic/thread - I appreciate knowing that others with advanced breast cancer are also actively engaged in thinking and living positively, even in our less than ideal circumstances. There is so much that can be done - for one another and ourselves.

    The motto that often comes to my mind is, "living well is the best revenge."

    Cancer may have taken many beloved activities and self-identities from me, yet I find myself chronically happy, chronically well.

    I am grateful.

    Yesterday, a friend took me to a local creekside, a place I hadn't been strong enough to visit in nearly a year. The water was burbling along the rocky creek bed, filling my ears and heart with wonder.

    I was able to help my friend to slow down and enjoy. She called it our Shinrin-yoku walk.

    While I may never get to that creekside again, I was able to bring it into every cell of my being - and record it via cell phone video.

    So much joy, Stephanie

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  • Becs511
    Becs511 Member Posts: 303
    edited February 2016

    Here is my list for today:

    1) One thing that somebody did for me (or somebody else) that made me (or that person) happy: My boss, (who's MIL has stage 4 lymphoma and "gets it", reminded me again that my health should always come first and not to think twice about missing work for appointments, not feeling well, or even mental health days

    2) One thing I did that made somebody else happy: Despite frutrations I didn't snap at anybody today (yet), so that's something, I guess...

    3) One thing I did that made myself happy: I actually work in One World Trade and I have been feeling majorly anxious about my scan next week (my MO is expecting some progression), so despite the rain, I walked outside to the September 11th memorial and took some deep breathes. I go there pretty frequently to remind myself that anything can happen at anytime, whether we are expecting it or not, and somethings are beyond our control.

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited February 2016

    Becs, that is so cool that you work in One World Trade. The year following my diagnosis, dh and I took a weekend bus trip to NYC. It was St. Patrick's Day weekend. We live eight hours away and I'd always wanted to visit. We toured the September 11th memorial and I got my picture taken in front of the survivor tree, the pear tree. One World Trade was still under construction. Dh and I had been home together the morning of the attacks, and it meant a lot for us to visit the memorial. I felt so at home in NYC and would love to visit again. The day after we returned home, the news was reporting that the survivor pear tree was in bloom for the first time since the attacks. That meant something to me, too.

    Best wishes on your scans.

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  • Becs511
    Becs511 Member Posts: 303
    edited February 2016

    Thank you for all of your good thoughts and well wish this week! To provide a quick update:

    After having some weird back spasms (which turned out to be small seizures), I called my MO and she sent me to my cancer center's urgent care that night for an MRI. And thank god she did. They found 7 small lesions on my brain and significant swelling. They said if I waited even a couple of days to call, it could have let to a irreversible stoke or hemorrhage! I was admitted to the neuro ICU on Feb 4th for monitoring and was immediately started on steroids and anti-seizure meds (which I have to be on for at least year).

    After a TON of tests and dr appointments, I had gamma knife on Thursday, which went well (minus the panic attack in the middle) and spent the weekend recovering. I'm actually back to work today, and besides some weird neurological symptoms and fatigue, feeling mostly good! I have a follow-up MRI in mid April to see if it worked, so holding my breath until then.

    For some good news, my pet-scan on the Feb 10th, showed that the residual disease in my breast is smaller than it was in November and everything else is still clear. That was a HUGE relief to know that my gem, carbo, and herceptin combo is still working. I tolerate it really well, so I really didn't want to switch.

    So now back to the positive thinking, which I really do think helped me get through this hellish month:

    1) One thing that somebody did for me (or somebody else) that made me (or that person) happy: All of your posts, PMs and well-wishes letting me know I was in your thoughts. I might not have been able to respond to all of them, but they were all read, received, and greatly appreciated. Our "community" has been an amazing source of encouragement, hope, and support. Plus the brain mets sisters pushing me to call my MO right away was literally a life-saver.

    2) One thing I did that made somebody else happy: My aunt and uncle was in town visiting from LA over the weekend, and I hadn't seen them since August. Despite not feeling well, I pushed myself to go out and meet them for an early dinner. They were so happy to see me out and about.

    3) One thing I did that made myself happy: My doctor had banned me from manicures due to infection risk, but since I have been off chemo for about a month now, I figured my counts are fine, and splurged on a fancy gel mani with nail art. Just looking down at them makes me smile.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2016

    We really like checking in here. Important for everyone to remember to think about these things!


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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited March 2016

    Mods, Thank you for bumping this up. I had forgotten about this thread.

    1. Something someone else did for me - since my DH had just returned home after spending the better part of the last three months in the hospital, and I had stayed there with him, my DIL insisted on making Easter dinner for everyone at my house. Unfortunately, she came down with the flu on Saturday. My DS stepped up and did all the cooking and cleanup instead. It was wonderfully relaxingfor my DH and me, and our DIL and DS both deserve my heart-felt thanks.

    2. Something I did to make someone else happy - I told my former daughter-in-law that she was doing a wonderful job of bringing up my 14 year old grandson. Being a good parent is not easy, and she deserves to know that others notice how well she is doing.

    3. Something I did to make myself happy - I started making plans to take a trip with DH in the next few months. Daring to dream of the future again makes me very happy.

    Lynne


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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited March 2016

    I forgot about this one too! Thanks Mods!

    Something someone else did for me: My boss very graciously let me know that whenever I decided I want to take a vacation she will cover me entirely as far as time off.

    Something I did to make someone else happy: In going through my mountains of possessions I culled out some cool rock and roll items for my 16 year old nephew. He was super surprised and very "stoked"!

    Something I did to make myself happy: Got my hair professionally done for the first time in awhile.


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  • Becs511
    Becs511 Member Posts: 303
    edited April 2016

    Here is my list from yesterday/today

    1) One thing that somebody did for me (or somebody else) that made me (or that person) happy: While waiting to have a brain MRI and then waiting for the results, my brother sent me goofy pictures of my soon to be one year old nephew every half hour.

    2) One thing I did that made somebody else happy: I was able to share the good results of my MRI with my family and friends. It made their day to hear that I had no new brain lesions and the ones I do have showed significant shrinkage!

    3) One thing I did that made myself happy: I bought and then tried a new flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Coconut and caramel ice creams with actual caramel in-between the two flavors. It was AMAZING.

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited April 2016

    Becs, I love the first one! That succession of photos must have been hilarious. What a good brother! Happy Dance for your MRI results! And YUM! That SOUNDS amazing!

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  • Becs511
    Becs511 Member Posts: 303
    edited April 2016

    I really need to post in this thread today as I have been having a hard time staying positive. I was released from the hospital on Saturday after 3 and a half days. I had 5 seizures in 6.5 hours on Wednesday as a result of swelling around healing brain mets. It was a hard challenge to stay optimistic at age 34 and being in the neuro ICU ward, scared out of my mind, and being by the youngest patient by far. So here is my list to focus on today.

    1) One thing that somebody did for me (or somebody else) that made me (or that person) happy: A group of friends sent me beautiful flowers while in the hospital and came for some quick visits, complete with fashion and trashy magazines. Plus my parents (who are divorced) did not leave my side the entire time.

    2) One thing I did that made somebody else happy: Not to sound narcissistic but I think me getting out of the hospital, especially in time for Passover and my nephew's first birthday), made my friends and family pretty happy.

    3) One thing I did that made myself happy: Taking my prescribed Valium when needed has made me artificially/chemically happy, which is good enough for right now.

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  • 50sgirl
    50sgirl Member Posts: 2,527
    edited April 2016

    Becs, You can add me, a complete stranger, to the list of people you have made happy today.I am happy that you are well enough to not only be out of ICU but also out of the hospital. I am happy that you have such thoughtful, caring friends. I am happy that you have such loving, devoted parents. I am happy you were home and well enough to celebrate Passover and your nephew's first birthday with your family. I am happy that you shared your feelings here. Last but not least, I am happy that you appreciate all the love that surrounds you. Thank you.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Lynne

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited April 2016

    Becs, so sorry to hear of your hospitalization. I am glad that you improved enough to be released. How are you feeling now? That is lovely of your parents to put you first and stay by your side. And the Valium, by all means, yes, take them when needed. I hope you are resting comfortably and can even get out a little in the nicer weather we are experiencing here in the east. Many many hugs to you and prayers foryou.

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  • RonnieKay
    RonnieKay Member Posts: 2,067
    edited April 2016

    I just saw this amazing thread...and have read how wonderful it is to stop & reflect on the goodness in life....your shared events gave me joy! Becs...love & hugs (not as exciting as trashy mags that I, personally, love!)...but thankful you're home & mentioned "healing" brain mets! That made me happy :-)

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  • artistatheart
    artistatheart Member Posts: 2,176
    edited April 2016

    Yes Becs, What everyone else said and more. I'm so sorry to hear what you went through but so glad you came through it. Lynne said it perfect when she outlined what a blessed woman you are in many ways! There is absolutely nothing like good friends and family to see you through the hard times. Healing mets sounds great! What is it about the trashy magazines that we love? I think they are just an indulgence that takes no intellectual brain power to enjoy in the moment. LOL!

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