My mom is officially diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma

Godblessedeveryone
Godblessedeveryone Member Posts: 15
edited March 2016 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hello to all the lovely ladies and BC survivors out there, I would like to get more informations and suggestions on how am I supposed to react/what kind of things I can do now for mom? Except for staying positive and be optimistic, what else can I do? Because I would like to claimed myself as a very cheerful person, I always jokes around with my mom and I really like to laugh. Btw, this is the medical term for my mom's BC, (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma).

My mom is 55 this year and she had her mammogram done on 3 years ago, which is 2013. The report was perfectly fine and she thought she was okay. She has a very good habit that is, she likes to check her breast before she go to bed everynight. Recently, around 2months ago, she realised there is one hard, immovable&painless lump on her left breast, somewhere around her chest wall/sternum. So she went for another mammogram test on Thursday, the mammogram showed us there is a thing there near the armpit, but Doctor wasn't so sure about it, so he did another ultrasound for my mom. After that, Doctor suspect there is a suspicious cancerous tumor in it, so he decided to do a biopsy test for my mom, so that he could confirm with us about it. Today, we were told by the Doctor that my mom has been officially diagnosed with Breast cancer, and it's either first or second stage which is still consider as an early stage. But still, I can't really believe/accept that it actually happened on someone from my family, and it turned out to be my love, my mom...

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  • dtad
    dtad Member Posts: 2,323
    edited March 2016

    You seem like a very compassionate daughter. Your mom is lucky to have you. Laughter is the best medicine. That being said Im sorry you find yourself here but welcome. The next few months will be a whirl wind of tests, treatments, and decisions. The best thing you can do for your mom is just be there which you already are. Use this forum to get information and support. Try to stay away from Google right now. Its to your friend. Please feel free to private message me if you want to talk more details. Good luck to you and your mom. Keep us posted....

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  • Arobedw
    Arobedw Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2016

    Very sad to hear about your mom. How wonderful she checks her breast every night. Thankfully this practice has helped her to be staged early which will be key in her treatment. Kudos to mom. I'm hoping she has instilled in you the importance to do self exams. I'm 33 and was diagnosed with the same type of cancer (IDC). I just started chemo this month. Best wishes to your mom and you're doing everything you can for her. Keep her smiling and laughing that is the best medicine there is. Let her vent - talk about her fears and then tell her you will be there for her - every step of the way. It is a roller coaster of emotions but there is also blessings along the way.

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  • Godblessedeveryone
    Godblessedeveryone Member Posts: 15
    edited March 2016

    Hi Arobedw,

    So are you too was diagnosed with an early stage of IDC? Is it okay for you to tell me which stage? Thank you.

    My mom is going to have her operation in this coming Wednesday, to remove the malignant tumor as well as some lymph nodes around it for another test, I'm not sure what is it call... then only we'll know which stage of cancer that my mom is fighting with.

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  • Arobedw
    Arobedw Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2016

    they call stage (2b) early stage however it has invaded the nodes. In May 2016 I will have surgery and they will remove nodes. Currently and clinically I'm stage 2B and when nodes are removed I can be restaged in the 3 depending on how many nodes.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited March 2016

    Godblessedeveryone, we are thinking about your mom, and her surgery on Wednesday. You will all know much more after the surgery.

    Arobedw, we are here for you too, and routing of you as you get through your treatments, and then surgery.

    So sorry you are both here, but happy you found this incredible group.

    Gentle hugs,

    The Mods

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  • lumacarrabbiata
    lumacarrabbiata Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2016

    Hello everyone,

    I have just found out this forum and immediately fell in love with it.

    My mother (aged 74) has been diagnosed BC HER2+, hormones negative and will start chemiotherapy next 17th march.

    So far I have done all I could to find an alternative solution. I looked for hospitals which use nanotechnologies, I looked for hospitals that use immunotherapy ... but every time the answer was the same: my mother cannot enter the tests they are implementing at the moment.

    So I finally gave up and accepted traditional chemiotherapy as the only solution possible.

    However, just this morning I discovered that the treatment my mother will do cannot possibly cover the risk of brain mets, which is the reason I thought chemio was for.

    I feel very stressed because I MUST support my mother to the best of my ability (being there for her, doing houseworks, making her laugh, making her doing the exercises for recovery after mastectomy, ecc. ecc.) BUT I also fear she will undergo such calvary ....

    I don't want my mother to be "strong" and I don't want people to tell me to be "optimistic" .... of course I act optimistic (what else?), but I really would like to share with someone who is as much scared and as much angry as I feel ....

    So, if there is anyone out there who could and would like to answer me ... you are welcome! I act as if .... and it does work, but I also need to talk about my worst thoughts in order to keep acting as if. Sorry for my English. Big hug to you all.

    lumacarrabbiata

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  • Godblessedeveryone
    Godblessedeveryone Member Posts: 15
    edited March 2016
    Hi, I'm so sorry for you and yes, I have the exact thought as you. I really don't like it when people just simply tell us like "it's okay you don't have to worry, it's gonna be okay" "be optimistic! Be happy! Chill!" And etc. But sometimes we have to know, others can't really understand how we feel because they don't have a mother or any family members that diagnosed with breast cancer, that's why. What we can do is to come here, communicate more with people who really understand how we felt, and discuss about the treatment and situation... You can pm me anytime if you would like to. We could be friends tho.
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  • ElaineTherese
    ElaineTherese Member Posts: 3,328
    edited March 2016

    Hi luma!

    Chemo is for your Mom because she has HER2+ cancer. HER2+ cancer is aggressive and used to result in some of the worst outcomes. Now, with targeted therapies like Herceptin and Perjeta, the survival rate for women with HER2+ cancer has improved. Yes, Herceptin does not make it to the brain, and that is a problem. But, Herceptin + chemo is systemic treatment that will attack cancer cells in the bloodstream and lymph system, thus reducing the chances of metastasis.

    No, your mom doesn't have to be "strong," and you don't have to be "optimistic." Be angry if you must!

    As a "survivor," I don't feel as though I've been "strong." I've just gone to my appointments, taken my meds, and have tried to eat well. If 70% of success is just showing up, 70% of getting through cancer is the same.

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