Going through a very down moment...

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Nina27
Nina27 Member Posts: 77

I have just been diagnosed with IDC...

Have seen a surgeon and an oncologist, they are recommending blood tests, a PET scan and an MRI before working out a treatment plan.


I'm sitting on my bathroom floor in tears while my son baths. Most of the time it feels like a dream and then it hits me like a ton of bricks that this is actually happening. I can't believe it

Comments

  • Jomo
    Jomo Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2016

    i totally get you, I have been diagnosed idbc, just been for bone scan, had ct scan this week, the bitch us in my glands, so need to see if spread, fund out tomorrow, my legs can not hold my body up, every morning I think, please let it be a dream, its like a living nightmare,

  • Larkspur
    Larkspur Member Posts: 88
    edited March 2016

    NIunn, I think everyone here knows the feelings you're describing.

    The unknowns (and the possible worst-case scenarios) make this part of the process the hardest. As others will confirm, once you have the results of those tests, you and your docs will work out a treatment plan based on that information, and it starts getting easier. It sounds as though you're in good hands and they're being very thorough. Meanwhile, feel free to come here and vent away! We all get it.


  • bluepearl
    bluepearl Member Posts: 961
    edited March 2016

    It is like being shell-shocked. I cried and cried most of the days. walking and walking. I think most women here can identify with this. It WILL get better once you have a treatment plan but it will take awhile to get used to being a new normal. I am assuming you are young too, with a boy taking a bath, so that makes it REALLY painful for you. Hang in there. This forum helps and I am sure those who will be taking care of you will help you as well. ((((HUGS))))

  • jlstacey
    jlstacey Member Posts: 277
    edited March 2016

    Oh yes, that is exactly how I was after diagnosis. Once I got a treatment plan and started moving forward with it, I felt a lot better. My friends really supported me at that time. My girlfriend spent a lot of time with me while our kids wee in school and DH was at work so I wasn't alone.

  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited March 2016

    Nlunn, it will get better. I promise you. I was in your shoes 7 years ago although I didn't have a child. Please come here often for support. I found I got thru something I never thought I could and now I have lived through my worst fear...of course there could be a recurrence but if that comes, it couldn't be as bad as the first diagnosis.

    Blessings,

    Liz

  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited March 2016

    Be glad that your Drs are wanting to have as much information as possible for you to have the best TX plan possible for YOU. The best availlable Knowledge of the overall 'picture' ( no matter what it shows) is always better than 'blindly' guessing and making mistakes through just not bothering to find out as much as possible.

  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited March 2016

    Its OK, lady. Do your best to feel all your emotions, but don't let them keep you from moving forward with life. Be brave, fight hard, and you will come out the other side. You can do this!

  • flipflop
    flipflop Member Posts: 38
    edited March 2016

    ^^^ those ladies all said it best. You'll get to a point where you wipe off those tears, stand up, and say "FU cancer. You're going down." And you will likely cry more. And then wipe those away, too. It gets easier but I agree with the poster who said it takes time to adjust to your new normal. That's a perfect way to say it. Because it's very true.

    I have two small kids so I get that too but they push me to keep fighting.

    I played this song when I would get down and it helped pick me back up:


  • Chickadeesylf
    Chickadeesylf Member Posts: 5
    edited March 2016

    so sorry to hear! I'm waiting also for results! Try your best to stay positive and upbeat..share your frustration with your closest family and friends, cry and get that release ..know the dr.s will do their utmost best to help..keep a smile on your face, and be the brave trooper! Chin up, and a big bear hug from me! Sylvia from Prince Edward Island Canada""". Found three spots in right breast and one in left.also terrible let down feeling and swelling of breast..hope to know more next week..thinking of you.

  • Nina27
    Nina27 Member Posts: 77
    edited March 2016

    Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement.

    I'm so scared but moving one day at a time is best. I must just remind myself that it's going to be a tough year physically and emotionally but everything will be fine in the end.

    I just can't help feeling so angry with myself for waiting so long before seeing the doctor, I felt the lump and saw redness months before I got it checked out (I thought it was a complication or injury due to my implants), if I had just gone to the doctor when I first noticed it I feel that everything would have been different.

    Hope you all have a lovely evening/ day xx

  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 1,562
    edited March 2016

    Please don't be blaming yourself. There was no way to know that you had cancer...and many cancers grow very, very slowly

  • LM070917
    LM070917 Member Posts: 323
    edited March 2016

    so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I know when most people hear the big 'c' they automatically think the worst, but it doesn't have to be that way and it isn't for many. There are many survivors out there!Ok times are tough, but as you move through this experience, things will get easier, so be strong and positive and you will get through it 😀

  • Heathet
    Heathet Member Posts: 257
    edited March 2016

    Nlunn27 - I was just diagnosed with breast cancer this week. I have had many moments of just breaking down crying. I was angry at myself for not getting in sooner - I thought it was just an injury to my implant, nothing to worry about. I working on not blaming myself and staying strong. I'm keeping a positive mind set and relying on my husband / family/ friends to help pull me out of my dark days. Stay strong - good thoughts your way.

  • Nina27
    Nina27 Member Posts: 77
    edited March 2016

    Thanks Heathet, I can not believe how many woman have to go through this. It heart breaking and very unfair. I hope you get your treatment soon and wish you a speedy recovery

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