Enlarged node less than a year after lumpectomy

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Went to my routine, every two-month office visit for my clinical trial. robotic, abrupt fellow noticed enlarged node on lumpectomy side, under armpit. i thought those were all gone? have been fighting a mild cold off and on, but i never expected this actual threat so soon. broke into tears. docs say "this happens, nodes enlarge and are supposed to with illness, infection, etc." yes. i know.

docs say, "we should just watch it, since we see you so frequently". uh no. scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow am.

I asked "don't all your patients freak out when they hear they have an enlarged node?" the answer, well your reaction is on the higher end of things." yeah, really? i have four kids under four, it hasn't even been a year since my re-excision, and i'm finally starting to feel physically strong again. yeah, my reaction IS on the higher end of things. i thought i would have at least a few months of freedom from recurrence. maybe i would have 12 years or so. the docs don't understand the terror of your life being ripped apart again. so F*&^ them.just terrified.

Comments

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 1,257
    edited March 2016

    Gatomal, here's hoping it's just enlarged due to illness. Let us know. {{hugs}}

  • Gatomal
    Gatomal Member Posts: 483
    edited March 2016

    thanks Cassie. I read our board all the time, but didn't want to post there for this. Hugs to you and your talented ballerina

  • AKJ
    AKJ Member Posts: 190
    edited March 2016

    Yes, see if you can get an ultrasound. I had an enlarged lymph node and the ultrasound showed nothing alarming. It put my mind at ease. At least for awhile

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited March 2016

    Glad you're getting it evaluated. Hoping it's illness related. Keep us posted.

  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited March 2016

    I don't know how anyone who was node positive ever gets over that sick feeling when you feel a twinge or swelling in the region. Maybe with time my first response will be "oh, I must be fighting a cold" but for now, like you, Gatomal, my initial reaction is "I need to know this is not cancer."

    I hope by now you have entirely reassuring results from your US.

  • Gatomal
    Gatomal Member Posts: 483
    edited March 2016

    thanks for the support. I had my ultrasound this morning, impression is normal node. They can see my lymphedema on US with fluid bands between tissue. Yeah, that why it hurts! So I'm not totally comforted, but I'll be back for an appointment in two months, and have my six month mammo then as well. The guidance is, as usual, monitor and see if you feel it get harder or bigger. Yay.

    I'm really looking into changing MOs at UCSF. I felt condescended to, and as if I'm being labeled an "anxious woman" for tearing up at this unexpected finding. The MO doesn't have kids, and I'm managing two sets of twins under four. If I recur on ovarian suppression, prophylactic zometa to prevent mets, Femara, And my clinical trial drug, ibrance (also to possible head off a recurrence or mets) it is extremely significant. That means that our kitchen sink strategy hasn't worked. That's a bitter pill. So I'm still mad at feeling like I'm reacting extremely. Walk a mile in our shoes doc, right?

    Anyway. Thanks all for being there. I have relied on these boards since the beginning.


  • Gatomal
    Gatomal Member Posts: 483
    edited March 2016

    jeez kbee, you've really been through it. Tough cookie. I would have been so angry! All that and it's back. I hate you cancer. How'd / do you get through it? Hugs

  • Gatomal
    Gatomal Member Posts: 483
    edited March 2016

    hopeful. If there was a like button, I'd hit it! Exactly. I hope the Femara shrinks and starves it, and your surgery us an easy one. I lived with my tumor for 7.5 months until surgery. I could feel it break up after each chemo, then unfortunately firm up again. Neoadjuvant can be hard that way.

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 1,257
    edited March 2016

    Gatomal, so glad to hear the u/s looked normal. That is great news. I completely understand the anxiety, and I'm sorry anyone on your medical team is treating you poorly. My MO is that way too. I really need to change. Thank you for sharing the update.

  • ladyb1234
    ladyb1234 Member Posts: 1,426
    edited March 2016

    Gatomal, I am not stocking you (big smile). But saw this and so glad the UltraSound looked normal. As for MOs, mine was wonderful during treatment but now somewhat short. Sometimes I feel like saying, you choose this profession, right. If so, it should be mandatory that they take sensitivity training.

    Thanks for sharing your update and so glad ithe u/s looks normal.

    Hugh those kids for me.

  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited March 2016

    Glad it looks like a normaL nose!

    I got through it a day at a time and by distracting myself with work, kids activities, and exercise.... And lots of help from friends and family!!!!! :)

  • Hopeful82014
    Hopeful82014 Member Posts: 3,480
    edited March 2016

    Gatomal, glad it at least looked normal on US and I'm crossing my fingers that it stays that way for good. I cannot imagine 'doing' cancer AND 2 sets of young twins - I am in total awe.

    Maybe this is a time to think about changing MOs and finding someone you can really feel comfortable with? I know what a huge difference that makes.

    In the meantime, take a few deep breaths and look forward to the weekend.

  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited March 2016

    I asked my RO where all the lymph fluid went if they took out all my nodes on the right side and she said oh they never get them all, there are still plenty there and that's why the fluid can keep flowing. I had 12 removed, one was positive. Gatomal glad you pushed for an ultrasound and how about biopsy. Let's watch it is asinine.

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