March 2016 Surgery
Comments
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Excellent tips, okbecca! So right on, the only thing I can add to it is don't be afraid or think that something is wrong if you are actually feeling ok....everyone was so surprised by how well I was doing so quickly it almost made them (and me) stop and wait for some kind of ball to drop! Turns out the whole thing just wasn't really "that" bad. I am a week out from surgery today and were it not for these drains, I dare say I'd be feeling 100%! So anxious to get on with the rest of this journey. Glad to hear from every one doing well and praying for continued recoveries!
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Iammaggs - yay for negative lymph nodes!
Okbecca - so glad to hear that you are doing ok after the BMX. It's awesome that you have the help and support of coworkers and your church!
Mecool, I'm glad you are doing well, too. I felt a little more pain the second week at the lymph node incision site, but then was strong enough by the third week that I think I could have gone back to work if it weren't for the snow we had. Did you have tissue expanders too? My PS only filled mine with 60 cc's on the table and used a new style that is less rigid than the old ones, so I have been pretty comfortable with the one I have (even after 2 50-cc additions).
I had my "nipplectomy" (not sure what the medical term is) this morning. It took about 45 minutes. I convinced them to use the lightest amount of sedation possible, lol. The anesthesiologist was a little hesitant at first. He said that it might make me uninhibited and that I wouldn't listen to instructions like "Lay still! Don't move". I gave him permission to knock me out if I started flailing around. But it was fine. We talked about his wife's C-section and he showed me pictures of his kids on his cell phone while the BS did her thing. I was in the car and on my way home by 9:30.
Healing thoughts and prayers for Cincy and Zfirebird today! I hope your surgery went well and that you are on your way to recovery!
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My story...
I had an absolutely normal annual screening mammogram in October 2015. Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas I felt a lump in my left breast. I actually attributed it to the crazy menstrual cycles that I've been experiencing lately and waited until I had two periods without it going away before I made an appointment with my doctor on the 4th of February. My doctor ordered a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound....guess what? A "suspicious" mass. I was scheduled for a core needle biopsy, and the results came back the next day IDC...I was flabbergasted I'm young (46) premenopausal...NO family history and I had a NORMAL mammogram in October and now I have a massive (to me) 3 cm CANCER...NO F*ING way!!! Anyway, I'm having a lumpectomy and SNB next Friday (3/18) and I'm second guessing my decision....My surgeon left it up to me mastectomy or lumpectomy....this damn thing has come on so fast, maybe I should just opt to have the entire breast removed...Any thoughts from you ladies? (I have enjoyed reading your experiences!) To all of you who have already had surgery this month...Sending healing thoughts and good vibes your way!
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kristy - the masrectomy vs lumpectomy decision is really hard! I would have had a lumpectomy except that they thought my cancer was multi focal (turned out to be 1 large mass instead), and my breasts are so small that by the time they removed both masses, I might as well have gotten a mastectomy. In the end I'm glad I did get the MX (in January), and for me at least, the recovery was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
Hopefully the BS went over the stats with you - that the survival rate is the same for LX(with radiation) as it is for MX but that the chance of recurrence is slightly higher for LX. Rads has its own set of risks and requires several weeks of commitment. If you decide on LX I would recommend that you ask for a consultation with a radiation oncologist before surgery so that you know the risks vs benefits of radiation as well.
Best wishes on your journey! -
Kristy525 - so sorry you are joining the club no one wants to be in, but welcome. You will find a lot of useful information and a great support system here. My BS put it this way - if I did a lumpectomy first, and margins were clear, there is no difference in survival stats of lumpectomy versus mx. If the lx doesn't work, mx is an option, but once the breast is gone, it is gone. Unfortunately, with BC, there are no guarantees. I have found that every step leads to a new decision that needs to be made. Every next step depends on the pathology report. I wish it weren't so, but it seems our tumors are all unique, and the outcomes at each treatment stage is different for each of us. As Grandma3x wisely counseled, it may help you to understand the rads tx prior to making your decision. Keep in mind though, that there is no guarantee that rads will not be needed after mx. Everything depends on what they find once they go in. Ultimately, the final decision is yours, and depends on many factors, both emotional and physical. Sending you warm hugs.
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grandma3x, I did not have TE. No recon for me so I'm sure that's aiding in my recovery as well!
Kristy525, I'm sorry you're joining us as well but we welcome you with open arms! As the other ladies so eloquently said, each dx is different. Every fighter is different. Every doc's recs are different. And ultimately, the entire decision is up to you. It's such a personal choice. As long as you arm yourself with all of the knowledge and feel confident in what your docs are telling you, then your decision will absolutely be the best one for you.
With that said, I will tell you simply that my docs initial recommendation was right mx. I opted for a double and the pathology report came back showing that there was, in fact, cancer in my left breast as well even though the biopsy, the MRI and the PET did not indicate that. But I knew from the start of this that I was going for a double with no reconstruction. I'm fortunate that my team of docs stands behind me with that, especially now! I will follow up with chemo and radiation as well. Educate yourself. And ask any questions here, these ladies are a wealth of knowledge!
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I am, I am...searching for the right word...
I am a week out and feel like each day could qualify as better but only at a snails pace. Tubes out yesterday and that should be such a triumph, which to some degree it is, but....I don't feel I can do much of anything yet. Even walking long distance is too much. The TE on my right is poking into my ribs and periodically stopping me in my tracks. I want to push it up higher in my chest.
On one hand I'm hearing to take it easy and heal, but others are bouncing back and feeling so good so quickly.
My TE were basically left empty, a little air because of concern with my right nipple. It wasn't getting good blood flow. I glanced at it for the first time today. It's not black but pretty dark. I may also need to have it removed or the PS said it may scab over and fall off (I think she means just a part not the whole thing!). I suspect it will be a while before she'll want to start injecting the TEs due to the nipple issue. They feel like sweaty plastic sheets on my chest. I can feel absolutely everything. Even phantom pains. I have a tiny chest, she had to get special crescent shaped TEs to use on me. LOL, I get this comment each time I see someone. Apparently that's why my drain incisions were put so high up in my armpits. I had only ribcage below.
Can I blame some of this on that horrid horrid nitro paste (nitroglycerin to increase blood flow on the worrisome nipple)? It gives me a killer headache if we apply too much (think we did today), heart palpitations and I think nausea (maybe from the severity of the headache). I slept until lunch time.
My armpits aren't as on fire as they were yesterday after the tubes were pulled, but they are itchy and stingy. Oh, to take the bandages off and clean them and apply vaseline or something will be a dream! And, gross, my armpits have been unshaven and deodorant free for over a week now! Ewww!
Sorry, I know I'm not going to be back to regular activity immediately. I know it's different for everyone. I'm having a moment.
I would like to fix my hair. I would really like to drive my car - anywhere.
I would really like to sleep on my stomach.
I would really like to gorge on pizza and fizzy, cheap beer.
My son is driving me batty - I know he's playing on his phone right now when he should be doing homework. I need to go find him and I don't know if I want to yell or cry. He's such a boy!
Sorry, I just need some smiles and cheer.
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I just want to send you some love, Jean!
One day at a time....just try to take it one day at a time. Lose yourself in some trash tv and take it all one day at a time!
But I did have to LOL as I was cursing my arm pits today too....where are those people that said no more hair or shaving??? I was not so fortunate on that and can't wait to shave!!!!
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Hello All, I just found out that they didnt get enough of a sample for my DNA test - we waited 23 days to find that out. My lumpectomy surgery was scheduled for 16th of March but I feel I should wait until I have those results. Will it really make any difference. I keep wavering between lumpectomy and mastectomy and I hope the results point me in a direction. I am also scared that they won't. I will probably have my surgery in April - just don't know which one. I see a plastic surgeon tomorrow and am hoping that will help. However the more info I have, the harder it seems to make a choice.
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Have any of the rest of you had your internal thermostat go nuts? When I woke up from the surgery, I felt so hot. The nurses turned down the heat and took all the blankets, just leaving me with a sheet to cover me.
Then last night, I started chilling. I slept under two quilts and today I'm wearing an L L Bean flannel shirt that's lined with sherpa.
I don't have a fever or anything like that, and this isn't terrible. I am just wondering what's happening and how did the surgery cause this.
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JessieJake - sending a big hug. Deep breath. This is all about you right now. You got this. P.S. I'm not above a little emotional blackmail...
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Hi Kristi,
I hardly ever post, but this is a great place to receive information and support.
This is definitely a hard decision. I just had my lumpectomy yesterday. I am in some pain, but tolerable. In the end my surgeon, who I had complete trust, recommended a lump. She said I was a prime candidate. I was diagnosed with IDC and it was small and well differentiated. My pathology report already came in and she (my doctor) called me tonight with good news. The 4 lymph nodes she had to take all came back negative and the surrounding margins of the tumor were also negative. In the end, you need to feel you can trust your BS and most importantly you need to trust your gut. Not always easy to do I know.
Good luck I in your decision. I know that you will make the right one for you. Hugs! Wishing you all the best.
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Okbecca, I am glad to hear all went well, I was thinking of you. I have had some temp issues. While still in the hospital I started worrying I was getting an infection because I kept feeling so warm. Here at home I will be cold one minute and hot the next. My body register has always been a little whacky though.
JessieJake, I am dealing with some emotions/feelings I wasn't expecting as well. I have actually been kinda grumpy, I think it is the Percocet. I am constipated, it gives me headaches, and I am groggy. I am trying to cut back on it as the pain really isn't bad. I also have not let myself look yet. I want to be totally aware when I do, not tired, groggy and out of it. I am just trying to do like Mecool said and just take it one day at a time and focus on the positive. We all knew this wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but it's hard to not be down in the midst of it.
Anyone have phantom feelings yet? I had my first about an hour ago. There was this feeling I used to always get on my right nipple and I just had it and it felt like it was coming from my nipple which obviously isn't there anymore. It actually brought a few tears to my eyes. I have heard of the phantom feelings, never experienced one.
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This is to go on the March Surgery llist
Kaneli...3/ 22 Left Lumpectomy
3/28 Brachytherapy (Contura) for 5 days 2x per day
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Thoughts and prayers with a sheree66 tomorrow!
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Hi ladies! So glad to hear everyone made it through this week and are hanging in. I went back to work this week, so haven't had much time to post, but I've thinking of you!
I am hoping for my end March surgery date to be scheduled Monday. There is a slight wrinkle in that my WBC is still low and I am STILL sick - 8 weeks and counting (chemo is the gift that keeps on giving). Hoping they will still go forward and remove my port at the same time. Xo!
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is anyone here taking Tramadol for pain instead of Percocet or oxycodone? After I had my MX in January, I took Tramadol for about a week after surgery and, besides stopping the pain, it elevated my mood. I felt very content and all the anxiety I had before surgery was gone. I wonder if the grumpiness and emotions that some of you are feeling may be partly due to the medication, and if switching to Tramadol for pain relief might also help alleviate the depression.
Happy spring for those of you who are also enjoying the sudden burst of warm weather! Sending healing thoughts to Sheree66 today!
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I'm not having any bad emotions about losing my breasts. I went through some tough times about that before the surgery and might grieve them later. But right now, what I feel is relief that the cancer is gone and relief that the surgery is over and I'm doing so well.
My husband, however, has crashed on me. He's grumpy, childish, and out of it. He gripes when I ask him to do something for me, and is confused whenever anyone tries to talk to him. The one tough spot I had over losing my breasts was yesterday when the visiting nurse, one of my girlfriends and I were in the bathroom, stripping my drains. He came in, saw me and looked horrified and walked out. I cried about that.
He'll be alright in the long run -- we've been married 35 years and i know him pretty well -- but this emotional meltdown he's having is making it a lot harder for me. I think he's appalled by the damage the surgery did. I joke about going from a D to divots, but I'm not exaggerating. My chest looks caved in. That doesn't bother me, but his reaction matters to me a lot. I'm going to pray and ask God to help him pull out of this. For those of you who pray, would you add this to your existing prayers. For those who are not praying women, would you send us good vibes?
I'm waiting for the visiting nurse right now. My infusion pack that was sending pain meds into me non-stop has finally emptied. I can handle it with the pills, but that does make me groggy.
This is going well, and it's a huge relief. Cancer didn't kill me. I killed the cancer. Also, I've had wonderful care from everyone, including my husband. He's been a rock up until yesterday and I know he will be again. But he's grieving the loss of my breasts, not me.
Any ideas about all this are welcome.
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It's funny, I was just thinking this morning how I have yet to cry about my breath being gone forever. I actually have not cried since just before surgery last Wednesday morning. It's almost like I'm void of all emotion at this point, but I had been such a mess the last month so maybe I just have nothing left.
I think it's also been super helpful to have to all here to talk to and release upon. So ladies, use us! Speak your mind, share your emotions! As I said before, I hate that any of us are here but I'm oddly so thankful that this forum exists as well!
I will definitely be praying for you and your husband okbecca. You've made me think that I need to pay more attention to how my husband is dealing as well. It is important to remember we are not facing any of this alone.
Still thinking of everyone and sensing calming, healing vibes to all!
Molly
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I am sorry Okbecca, that is hard. I am going to be getting my first shower in about an hour and it will be the big reveal to both me and my husband and I am quite nervous. He has made comments that he doesn't know how he will handle seeing the incisions and I don't know what it looks like either to know if it is going to be better or worse than we are expecting. I am hoping he handles it well. This is an adjustment for them as well.
Mecool, I have been feeling the same way, I am just kind of numb emotionally. Part of me thinks it is my defense mechanism right now, and although I don't want to be emotional, I am not necessarily liking not feeling anything either. I was the same way before surgery as well. I am wondering if all the emotions are going to catch up with me at once? Or, maybe I am at peace with it and there really just aren't buried emotions? Time will tell I guess.
Is anyone taking Celebrex? I was told to take one a day for a week but I don't really like the side effects so I am thinking of stopping. They told me I could stop if I needed, just don't want to slow recovery stopping!
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okbecca - so sorry that your DH is having a difficult time grappling with this. I'm sure the enormity of your situation has finally hit him right between the eyes. When i say "your", I mean you and him together. The both of you have had to deal with the physical and emotional impacts of a cancer diagnosis, and the roller coaster of treatment. It must be like surviving a crash. On one hand we are so happy we survived, but on the other we will never be the same. Your DH has probably been feeling helpless standing by having to watch you deal with the physical pain and emotional fear of the unknown. My poor DH hovers, and treats me like an invalid some days. But i know it is his way of dealing with it, and feeling part of it, rather than standing helplessly by. Thank you for sharing. I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing hugs and prayers.
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Thanks GrandmaX3 for the advice you gave me in another thread. You can add me to the March list. My date to break up with my breasts is March 15th. I will be having BMX with TE placement. I admire you all for your strength through it all.
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You and our husband are you my prayer list okbecca. Much strength for each day,
Jacklin
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Finally got my lx scheduled for 3/24. Surgeon is oncoplasty-trained and assures me I likely won't even know she was there.
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Take a few days off and pages of activity and new Marchers added. My apologies in not updating the list until now.
You are all in my thoughts. It is nice to hear many of you are doing well, and also good to hear many of you voicing my same feeling of anxiety, trying to get everything done before as well as addressing the emotions on the other side. I can not address all of you by name right now, but please know I am sending gentle hugs to all of you.
If there are any errors or omissions in the list please let me know, my mistakes are human.
asante
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okbecca - so sorry you are dealing with that. I think many men don't know how to process this.
I am at the doctor...again. Horrible cough I can't shake. 8 weeks on and off. Since I had chemo, it is always something!!!
Praying this does not delay my surgery.
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Had my pre-op work up done today. Now to get through a busy weekend. Then 6:45 Monday morning for excisional biopsy of left breast (some places call it a lumpectomy). I am so edgy wanting to get this right breast IDC taken care of. Time seems to crawl at night. Sleeping is difficult. I have a RX of Xanax now. I may have to use a few this weekend! Not sure what the next step will be if the left is cancer. Ugggg just that word makes me feel like a big hard lump drops to the bottom of my stomach!
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Good luck Seedsally, my thoughts and prayers will be with you. I used Xanax for the three days leading up to my surgery and it helped tremendously!
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Mckaylaleigh. Thanks for your encouragement. This place sure keeps me from feeling alone in this. I really appreciate all of you. My family is wonderful and sympathetic but you guys understand.
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best wishes, seedsally! Prayers for a smooth and easy recovery. And do not feel bad about xanax! After months off, I am back on once daily low dose valium as I get checked for lung mets. When you need it, you need it! Big hugs.
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