Winter 2015-16 RADS

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  • mdoc524
    mdoc524 Member Posts: 336
    edited March 2016

    Happy Happy Friday All - so so glad to have 2 days off .. still pretty sick - thanks for all the well wishes! @Kate - I did get antibiotic - Doc advised to wait 7 days as they believe it is viral saying this whole town has it and lungs were clear - all upper respiratory - just nasty! Even my kids don't want to come near me LOL

    El Tigre- had sim for Boosts yesterday & confirmed getting 6 boosts directly to mastectomy scar plus ½ inch above and below scar. Got 4 new teeny tiny tattoos around the scar! Asked RO why some other RO's would say no Boosts if have TE's and she said she was not sure – maybe because the need to re-open scar to put implants in – she advised no risk to TE"s and as long as enough time is given to heal the implant exchange should be fine – she said she has never had an issue with Boosts on patients with TE's. Again – so crazy how different

    7 of9 – many many hugs to you going thru recurrence .. Did your RO say why they were cutting tx short?? I would feel the same way ..

    Fearless, HappyHammer, Suz-Q, Octogirl and Creativevintage – thanks so much for popping in and sharing your experience with those of us still in tx .. glad you are doing well!

    Thanks Dorothy – hope your itchy throat and dry cough is better and that you did not get what either I or Kate have .. not fun!

    Katja23 – I have 5 patients at the same time as me each day and I have to say I will miss them when done – we all just started talking one day and now we have a little fun with each other – who will arrive first – who will get called back 1st etc .. there is nothing else to do in our waiting room – no TV, no WiFi, no puzzles or fish tank ..

    Andraxo – hugs to you over the Spanish class and trying to keep up – you are very strong!!

    Congrats to all finishing today – morelandks, Tessio and anyone else – Happy Happy Dance for you!

    Moreland – Agree with everyone – your RO is in the wrong job – you have every right to ask questions at any time. I go to my appts with a notepad filled with ?s .. I am also getting ovaries removed – I am not BRCA positive but cancer is 90+% Estrogen positive and have been in chemo/menopause since September and strong family history of ovarian cancer so OB agreed – get them out .. I believe once that is done I will be starting Arimidex

    Brimton – chemo stresses every part of the body .. but similar to Rads affects each person differently… cancer is cancer regardless if chemo is needed – the emotion, worry, anxiety is the same I think for all no matter which course of treatment is needed. We are all strong and fortunate to have a place like this to come together and virtually hold hands thru it .. hopefully someday there will be a cure!!

    Andraxo – so so well said!! And love the mentality of "what would pre-cancer me do?" – going to steal that – thanks for sharing

    Brimton, Duzy & DiDel – we made it thru Week 5 – 2 weeks left – for me 3 regular tx and then 6 boosts! Skin is angry and nurse advised to call if collarbone area opens up .. of course I asked her if she thinks it will and she just said it does not look good- UGH.. RO up'd the use of the prescription cream to use more than calendula now .. fingers crossed all holds !! Hope your skin is faring well.. Here's to 2 days off .. we are sooo close! And Diane – great for you on being there for your friends and helping them understand their dx .. hope all works out!

    Have a Great Weekend All .. hoping I am well enough to enjoy a night out at my kids' school annual fundraising event Saturday night – auction/Beef 'n Beer – always lots of fun and Sunday is me and hubby 12th Wedding Anniversary .. life goes on!! Hugs to all!

    Mary


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  • mdoc524
    mdoc524 Member Posts: 336
    edited March 2016

    Tessio - congrats - I signed up for Race for the cure in Philly too .. it's on Mother's Day! Great minds LOL

    Ag23 - I would 1st call PS and ask about the increased pain - does not sound right .. when did your PS start the fills .. mine did not start weekly fills until 4 weeks post BMX .. he initially filled them 180 cc's during the initial surgery and then filled 60-90 cc's weekly but if I had too much pressure he would drop down or just not fill that week ..

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  • Brimton
    Brimton Member Posts: 87
    edited March 2016
    Hi Everyone So glad we are all visualizing holding hands together. With this positive energy we will Warrior ON! MORELANDKS When I had my babies I ended up with the rotation doc I didn't want. The nurse basically delivered my baby. I had a talk with him about it. I feel like we as patients need to educate them on how to behave. I don't think it is taught in medical school. I have worked in a hospital for 25 years. ANDRAX Truth be told by you. I am appreciating life more trying not to worry about the small stuff. TESSIO you and I are in tune. I totally agree with you a out the process of rads. PEA glad it all went well. Rest up for the streamline ride of your life :-) MDOC -- I have one more and then on to five boosts. They showed me the tumor bed area today. I hope you are feeling better.KATE Glad you are getting better. EVERYONE have a great weekend. It's supposed to be 70 here!
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  • Ag23
    Ag23 Member Posts: 37
    edited March 2016

    Mdpc524 and peabrain thank you! I called the surgeons office. They said some do feel intense pain with the fills and it can be as bad as the day after mx pain (which I swear it is!). I have a pretty high pain tolence.

    Anyhow, I'm going to wait 24 hrs and see what it's like. I had my first fill two weeks after surgery (15 days). First fill was only 30 cvs or so I think. The week after they tried to do 99 but I could only handle 80. This week they did 80but the pain is so much worse. The final fill will be next week.

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  • morelandks
    morelandks Member Posts: 51
    edited March 2016

    *** DING DING DING DING DING ****

    Last zap was at 2:12pm today!!! I took thank you cupcakes for the entire radiation therapist team (literally - spelled out on top of 24 cupcakes - TH-A-N-K-Y-O-U-!-[heart]-[heart]-[heart]-[heart] - x2). My facility doesn't have any actual bells or finishing ceremonies, but I shared lots of hugs and thank yous.

    I wish I could give a thank you cupcake to each of you for sharing your stories and holding my hand through mine. I really, really needed the support this board provided through rads.

    Mdoc - thank you for administering this board - we are a lot to keep track of!! I hope you feel better, and look forward to finding you on an AI board.

    Tessio - I hear your bells ringing too!!!

    Warrior on with Love!!

    Kim

    PS re some prior thread details:

    - Re my horrible RO: the thing that was so difficult is that I didn't speak up when my bad interactions (yeap - not an isolated incident) happened with her (yeap - bad RO is even a "she"). I just didn't have it in me and felt intimidated, which is not how I am used to being in the world (yeap - more identity crises!). I did however respond honestly when I was asked to give feedback this week - the administrator was as horrified as you all are. And she said the same thing: she reminded me that I am the captain of this cancer treatment ship and have every right to switch physicians or otherwise get help. So ladies - REMEMBER - you are the captains of your ships!! Or rather, the Executive Chefs in your KitchenAid kitchens!!

    - Re the brain: I have no idea if my current lack of analytical ability (compared to pre BC) will continue or not. I think my problems are left over from chemo, compounded by the Fatigue Truck. My concern with HT is that I thought decreasing estrogen levels also are associated with memory loss and other cognitive difficulties, but maybe that's not quite right. Suz-Q and Fearless195 - thanks for indicating no major side effects from your AI experience - truly heartening!! I, too, will start with an AI - not sure which one - (I can't do Tamoxifen due to blood clot risks) once my ovaries are under control, so at least there is some hope of it not getting worse. Peabrain - I too have a complex job with significant responsibilities - I literally have no idea how I'm going to be able to handle things once I'm back full time, but maybe it will all just be different - more letting go, less worrying. That is my hope, and most days I can fight to hold on to that hope. But when days like yesterday come around, it is so truly helpful to share my fears with you all and know that they are heard and cared for. Peabrain - recover well!!


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  • mdoc524
    mdoc524 Member Posts: 336
    edited March 2016

    Ag23 - I never had horrible pain with TE fills - if it too painful I would ask them to split the final fill over 2 weeks and ask to skip a week if you need too ... I had my BMX before chemo so I have had my TE's now for 10 months and just had a fill before rads started and my PS said he may add more depends on how my skin does .. there should not be any rush.. good luck!

    WooHoo morelandks - Congrats on ringing that bell! let the skin healing begin! Glad you got to give some feedback about your RO!

    Mary

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  • Twnkltoz
    Twnkltoz Member Posts: 215
    edited March 2016

    @moreland congrats on finishing, and good for you for speaking up!

    @ag sorry you're in pain. I hope it eases soon.

    @tessio congrats to you as well! The raw spot under my arm is starting to heal, and the pain isn't as bad anymore although it still isn't very comfortable. I generally handle pain pretty well, but the other night I was in tears trying to get comfortable enough to sleep.

    Today was #32. Just one more! I almost wish they did weekends so I could get it over with!

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  • Birdysmom
    Birdysmom Member Posts: 58
    edited March 2016

    Peabrain, thank you for sharing about the ovaries. I may have to do same thing and was feeling lost until reading your post. The brain & not forgetting things so easily- that comes back. It's frustrating though until it does!

    Am only on #17th rad session and have a big, fat, painful seroma under the treated pit. Doc says fluid there built up so easily due to the scar tissue in this area (have an old sailing injury there & near boob, is all messed up) These seroma things usually can happen after surgery and are reabsorbed by the body. Feels like yuk, I feel like this picture I made when my boss wasn't looking at work..

    image

    Hold fast, never give up the ship! We WILL prevail!

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  • Twnkltoz
    Twnkltoz Member Posts: 215
    edited March 2016

    @birdysmom, love the pic!

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  • Kimmer33
    Kimmer33 Member Posts: 386
    edited March 2016

    thanks for that Andra, well said.

    I broke down yesterday, surprising myself amd my husband. I was in my bathroom packing and found all my hair products and i started crying while actually hugging one of the bottles. I miss my hair so much and so upset that I have to go through all of this. I was still weepy this morning, missing my kids living at home, missing my parents and lots of stress packing up our family home and starting a new chapter - it's good stress, and i am excited about the changes, but i am terrified of the future, will cancer return? In what form? How many years do I have with my husband?

    I met my rad onc this morning and he says i look amazing which lifted my spirits - just one more treatment on monday then i see him in 6 weeks for followup and discharge.

    I hope all you beautiful ladieshave a wonderful weekend off, and to those finishing - yay!


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  • 6feetover
    6feetover Member Posts: 320
    edited March 2016

    I'll just offer *MASSIVE HUGS* to everyone finishing, still enduring, going through additional/other crap, etc. I'd be so lost without you ladies!!! Wish there were a "notworthy" smiley here!!!

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  • Andraxo
    Andraxo Member Posts: 410
    edited March 2016

    Kim - so sorry that some of the packing is stressful and triggering other emotions. Sending you hugs!

    Hooray for those finished today - so exciting!

    Also sending healing energy to those with hurting skin.

    Today was only tx #5 - my skin is already a little pink in the entire tx zone and that is very discouraging to me. :( Did anyone else pink up that early?

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  • violethope
    violethope Member Posts: 32
    edited March 2016

    Congrats to those of you finishing rads this week and to those of you who are so close! I have 2 treatments under my belt with14 left to go. I am fortunate not to have to work while undergoing my treatments so can focus on me. Trying to get exercise everyday and extra rest. Take good care everyone!

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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited March 2017

    18 out of 33 done. Four weeks in - been sick the whole time. First nausea for three weeks, then hurts to swallow, cough, sore throat, can't sleep well, rash getting painful. Three weeks to go. I'm told it's all due to radiation, thought I had a virus that turned into a chest cold. It's not real bad just enough to feel crummy all the time and tired. They're saying I'm "sensitive" - the radiation must be working. I refuse to look at the machine, I close my eyes until it's over, get a little shut eye while they "arrange" me. X marks the spot keeps coming off too. But the girls (one has blue and purple hair - I love it!) It's called the tropical room. They give me two warm blankets, one for my arms and one for my body. It's cold in there but I think the table is padded and covered with a sheet, not uncomfortable. I read lately more than I post. Thanks to all of you for keeping it going. Don't feel like talking. Now they want me to drink a concoction of lidocaine, malox and benedryl. I'm thinking it over......

    SickTired

    ThumbsUp

    Sick


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  • MissV123
    MissV123 Member Posts: 79
    edited March 2016

    Congrats to all you Ladies that finished Rads this week.....I will have my last boost on Monday....Im getting so many "at a girl" and "you did it" comments from friends and family....I dont know why I dont feel that way.....Im scared of the next step....I see the MO on March 23rd and find out which meds I will be on for the next 5 to 10 years.....To me its no over.. I smile ,but inside I feel so distressed and confused.....Is this the way I will feel forever? Always waiting for the other shoe to drop....Where and when will this ugly monster raise its head in the future? I think this week was bad because a co worker and wonderful friend died yesterday (Glioblastoma) one year to the date she first passed out at home....and another friend just went into hospice today for ALS.....I went to visit him today during work and just watched his family sitting ,waiting,silently....Im having a bad night.....cant shut out my terrible thoughts.....hope tomorrow will be better.....daughter coming ,and a dear friend to help me with paperwork that has been piling up for weeks now.....I need to get things organized and we plan on breakfast and lots of coffee to complete the task.......Im sorry , I feel like such a "Debbie Downer " this evening.....but just cant help it.....I thank all of you for listening......so glad you are here....because you Ladies get it.....hope to be in better shape tomorrow.....Good night ...sleep well....

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  • morelandks
    morelandks Member Posts: 51
    edited March 2016

    MissV - giant sloppy teddy bear hugs to you!!!! I too have not felt the elation I expected when I finished up today, and yes, it's because after meeting with my MO on Monday (who is such a wonderful, wonderful woman and doctor!), I realized how far I have to go. I am concerned about the next phase and all the potential SEs, but as I'm reading the boards for HT, it seems there are many who have very mild SEs and tolerate it all very well. So take heart! What I'm reminding myself is that I have just as much reason (if not more) to be hopeful about what's next as I do to be fearful, so I might as well choose hope. (And no worries about a Debbie Downer post - that's what we're here for - and that's where I was yesterday).

    Marjen - my goodness, I truly hope and pray that you feel better soon. I can't imagine having to cope with rads and all the other stuff at the same time. Lots of liquids and sleep sleep sleep! Hang in there (love the emoticons!).

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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited March 2017

    I went to Medical News Today and there's all kinds of new treatments in the pipe. I find that encouraging. Feeling better helps too. Things always seem worse when you're not feeling well.

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  • Twnkltoz
    Twnkltoz Member Posts: 215
    edited March 2016

    (((hugs))) for all who need them! Enjoy your two-day break!

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  • JerseyGirl22
    JerseyGirl22 Member Posts: 342
    edited March 2016

    Tessio! Yay!!! You!!!!!

    Peabrain!!!! so glad you are back, and happy you are feeling good through this latest recovery...

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  • KateB79
    KateB79 Member Posts: 747
    edited March 2016

    Hugs to all!

    Andra, I pinked up pretty fast, too. It actually made my RO really happy.

    Birdysmom, I love the picture.

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  • Brimton
    Brimton Member Posts: 87
    edited March 2016
    MiSSV Hugs to you. I Feel the same anxiety about life and the future. kind of like I have to complete all my plans cuz who knows what's coming. So very sorry about you friends. I have lost my mom, dad and brother to cancer. You have your own path. I hope that you friend and daughter get something done but bring a bit of light into your day. Please don't worry about Debbie Downer we have all been there. MERIJen I wish there was something I could do. I'm doing "really well" but wonder if it's working. Then the choice is to feel really bad and think its working. What Im trying to say is it's a no win situation. Hopefully the concoction will work. KIMMER I wonder when the "new normal " occurs. HUG
    REMEMBER ALL WE ARE IN IT TOGETHER
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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited March 2017

    Thanks Brimton. It's like a shot in the dark as far as I'm concerned. Who knows? We're burning down the barn after the horses have left for the wild? It's been nearly a year since dx for me. Going to try Welenda on the painful glass chip rash. None of the creams working. The concoction turned out to be Magic Mouthwash at $30 and the pharmacist needs time to mix. Can get at Amazon. Bought cloriseptic losenges instead. I totally get the anxiety, maybe it's like grief and gets less after a lot of time

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  • Kokomo26
    Kokomo26 Member Posts: 64
    edited July 2016

    Mary....Thanks for your words of encouragement....hope you are feeling better now?

    Healing Hugs to all....Congrats to those who finished this week and best wishes to all of us still in treatment. I also pray for all while on the table. I still cant believe I am having rad treatment...bad nightmare and I want to wake up!!!!! Had #3 so far. Hope I am putting enough cream and in the right area. Do you extend past the tattoes and by how much?

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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited March 2017

    Birdysmom - I love your emotional expression - what do you have for us today? Very creative.

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  • luzeelu
    luzeelu Member Posts: 101
    edited March 2016

    Andraxo, very inspiring words! I need to work on improving my attitude.

    12 down, 16 to go. Nothing drastic so far, but I'm tired.

    Hope you all have a relaxing and/or enjoyable weekend!

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  • Musosgirl
    Musosgirl Member Posts: 387
    edited March 2016
    Anyone have their Kitchen Aid break-down much? I have only had two weeks of rads and had two treatments cancelled because the machine was down. Wondering if this is a regular occurance? I was already going through the week before my SIL's wedding and now will be going the week of--dreading having to dress up for an event when so uncomfortable. RO is unsure about boosts--maybe she'll decide no and I'll have a little extra recovery time.

    Had a strange sensation this week on a windy day walking into the building. Realized it was the sensation of wind in my hair! My hair is long enough to not just have a cold breeze on a bald head, but actually disrupt follicles!

    Only had 7 official rads and already red/tan and very tender/crispy. Painful to sleep on my right side. But while fatigue and depression have ht me hard I can tell my body is getting a bit stronger--able to go on walks more regularly again.
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  • marijen
    marijen Member Posts: 3,731
    edited March 2017

    The computer seems to get hung. It's sort of scary but they swear there are all kinds of safeguards these days. And it's probably a state of the art Kithcen Aid. So funny! Anyone think it's ok to try calamine lotion on a red and Bumpy rash? Ouch!! I don't do pain well

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  • Twnkltoz
    Twnkltoz Member Posts: 215
    edited March 2016

    my machine has only broken down once (knock on wood), but my fiance's boss's machine breaks down every week!

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  • Musosgirl
    Musosgirl Member Posts: 387
    edited March 2016
    I have become a psycho this week. Earlier in the week I said horrible things to my SIL, who is planning her wedding and quitting a job and packing to move across the country. Not that I don't feel the things I said, but I NEVER should have said them--at least not like THAT! Apologized profusely, but you can't take words back. And then tonight I went on a rampage over technology not working and trying to order something before it sold out. Ranting to DH is useless--I called my sister and she totally GOT it. You all understand I am sure--a sister or that one girlfriend who is like a sister and you can communicate in grunts... I apologized to hubby for my craziness and pre-apologized for the remaining 5 weeks. I suggested just giving me brownies and telling me to go to bed--that he has everything under control.

    The burning is making me teary-eyed tonight. Gonna go find some Aloe...
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  • DiDel
    DiDel Member Posts: 1,329
    edited March 2016

    awwwww I get it..

    I ITCH ITCH ITCH I put stuff on but can't use cortisone cream. Omg my skin is purple pretty sure little blister and did I mention I itch

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