Single life after a mastectomy

Jazzy, that's exactly how I feel, I find myself questioning everything. What is it I want to do next? Simplifying things is the one thing I'm sure of.

Life, I'm glad your glitch got straightened out. It sounds like that was a close call.

Hi hi ok so today I got an email from HR reminding us to re enroll in our benefit plan lol it piss me off so I sent a vent letter telling them about how I feel . No it won't do me any good .no body will change what happen but it made me feel good to tell HR what I think . Lol

I don't think I have many years in that crap company and I know any where I go I ll be treated the same as per my sick history so next job I have I won't share that with anybody. I know I won't get insurance higher than 35% so I better not get sick again. I must just live every day and not worry cuz it's not up to me . I am paying for my own mistakes .

I plan to erase the fact that I lost 45% and I ll pretend I never had it cuz it ll make me sick everytime I remember lol

Today at least I stay home work from 7:30 to 5pm in my labtop called in to a conf meeting and had to do a few test cases .

My neck hurts snow came and the guys who supposed to fix the furnace did not show up so is still not done .

I don't care I ll just take it easy now.

I figure everytime I get upset I get depress I am now like those children's who I see if something does not go their way they lose it . I became like that . Is it me ? Are u guys out of patience? I feel as if I am a very not ok person I don't show it in the outside but inside I lose it so fast. I have no patience for stupidity nor people who are mean just to be mean. I wish I could be the happy person I use to be. Yes I know she is dead but I am not ok with that I am not ok with the me I lost I am so piss . OK sorry guys I must be depress again

Bb sending u hugs

Cubbie hope u are ok

Oh yes milky is ok I msg her she got her divorce papers and she is having a hard time dealing with that reality she sends everybody her love.

Life hope u too are hanging in there .

Jazz yes I know u need to find another job. I ll star but I am not done with the courses I took. Will be better next month since I ll have a BA course under my belt .

June VDavis and all the other hope all ok

Yes jazz I am OK I am strong and you are right I brake sometimes . No HR won't say anything they don't care. But I felt good to just say something I now became like that I need my voice heard regarding what happens like I wish I could help for others not to deal with the same issue . Is such a big company I bet lots and lots of people right now are been cheated same as I was and that makes me piss.

Anyway enough of that I am trying to be positive yes it was good to work from home I also did a little exercise just now and well didn't keep up with the lady till the end but did enough lol

I am going to try to focus of my classes and yes open a new door soon I hope . Need to focus on moving and getting things over my old apt.today I pay the rent there and well I ll be hard paying both but hoping to find a tenant soon

Good night all hope for better months I ll play loto for tmw night

Hi this is what it looks like here today

Oh here in Canada we are all inssurared like we don't pay the Dr. Fees but we must pay for our medicine and hospital rooms if we have to stay over night . So we all need our own inssurance to help us with that.

E- what lovely pictures. I see you are still in the throes of winter

I went out yesterday at lunch for some errands and to grab a bite to eat. Here is what I found blooming. Spring is here!

Hi hi hope all ok

Finally a weekend with no Saturday class

Last night I make kale sale chips lol

Fits time and I love it lol

Hope everybody is doing well

Love u all

My two nephews are now in cancun

Remember the boy who was in Panama and his father took advantage well I got him and the other nephew flights to cancun and they arrived yesterday.

My friend there will help them with a job and I am very sure they ll love it there .

Now finally I ll have someone where to arrive when I go .

I just want my entire family to leave Venezuelan and finally my nephews went and they ll start a new lives .

I am so happy here is a picture of the two.

In the airport before leaving the dump lol

Sorry BB, wishing you better days. Hugs sister.

Jazzy: Yay for spring... So looking forward to warmer weather here, too. Have fun with your BFF.

Enerva: You are a truly good person, looking out for your family. I hope your nephews find work in Cancun soon.

Bdavis: Your divorce was finalized around the same time as mine. Glad to hear that you're enjoying life. Hope you find your soul mate soon.

Melp: I hope you're continuing to do well. Always keeping you in thought and prayer.

Cubbie, Simplicity: Hope all is well.

BB: I'm sorry to hear things are not better. I hope everything works out soon.

Not much to report here. Looking into my options, as usual, for work. That's all. Goodnight...

Hi everyone. I have not felt up to writing much these days. Just discouraged you know?

Jazzy, I hope you had fun with your friend. Yes, I have family coming in April. I hope I feel up to it.

Life, I hope your job search turns up something you like. Searching for work is so frustrating.

good morning ladies I am OK just so busy and stressed out with the moving .I packed 9 boxes so far but waiting for the 12 so my nephew ll move out that day and I ll have the place empty to move all my stuff. I am super tired

I started the Excell class yesterday and so I love it I always wanted to learn Excell I only know basic so thus class for sure is a good one for me.

I also applied for a job yesterday I hope I get an interview but I am not sure I ll. I saw the job and contacted the hiring officer he then told me that position was close as off yesterday but he said to send him the application and that he could still put it through so I did but not sure if I ll have a chance . I ll send u the details later jazz

Other than that weather is great finally this week +6 and is going to be +14 this week so I am supper excited.

I am just very tire it seems I just drag myself these days

So many things going on at work I am in charge of the month release and I am not sure what ll happen cuz we are in the middle of changing systems so it's a big mess my manager as usual finding people to blame for all errors and oh well I get to my desk and don't move all day only go to meetings and people are getting fire so far 6 from a dept and 8 from another and so the rest are scared and stepING over who ever is left

Hope you are all havin a great week a picture my nephews sent me wish makes me happy

Need to share

hi jazzy I'm doing ok. Found out I will need one session of radiation on my spine so that the tumour doesn't grow.

Doctors are concerned if I do nothing it may grow and get worse. Anyways I have moved into a new place its got heaps more room!!!

Enerva and BB - sorry to hear things aren't going good for you two

Melp- glad to hear you will get some treatment to manage the tumor. The new place sounds really wonderful, having a good home base makes all the difference with our ability to rest and heal. I am glad you like your new space.

E- I know we all blame ourselves sometimes for what has happened. I know other people are quick to judge and blame us too, but decided I am not going to beat myself up about the past on any front. We all do the best we can in our lives with what we are given and the skills we have. I think we now just need to try to do the best we can to take care of ourselves. I have learned to say no to a lot of things and people that are good for everyone else but me?

Having a gnarly week at work, but have a great new lead on my team who is AWESOME and going to take a big load off me with some things I have been carrying until we got him on board. Things are coming together and got some praise from on high, but have a lot of struggles with the politics with the IT dept. Nothing new there, perhaps just a bit worse through time. I am leaving work early today to be ready for my friend's arrival tonight for the weekend.

Hoping everyone else here from Cubbie, to BB, to Life, Simplicity and others are doing okay. We have daylight savings here in the US this weekend and the evening light will return. I love this time of the year.

Hi ladies hope u are all ok.

Well I am so depressed. I went to see the apt and I almost had a heart attack lol is in such a bad shape. I ll go tmw to clean it and make a list of the repairs I need to do in order to move

I feel so sad.so much for my excitement

Good night

hi all

Haven't updated in a while. Meeting with radiation doctor Thursday to discuss radiation on my T9 vertebrae. Been getting some rib pain but had an x-ray of chest and the doctor thinks it could just be from where I had my lungs drained previously. I do have some fluid back in the right lung but I'm not sure if it needs to be drained again..

Still on femara and clexane. Seeing psychologist still to help with my emotions. Enerva and BB- sorry to hear you are struggling

Thanks lifeiswonderful its good to read you guys are thinking of me jazz- those pictures are awesome!!

yeah i am enjoying my new place still. Even got a few plants to brighten up the back patio area.

Going to see rads doctor today to discuss the fact that they want me to do one course of radiation on spine. If it will kill the tumour then im up for it!! Certainly is good to have a psychologist to talk to when im feeling overwhelmed. Which is allot!