April 2015 Chemo Crew... Starting in April? Please join us!

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited February 2016

    imageAndrea, that looks like so much fun!

    You guys wanna see my dorky hair? Ok...

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited February 2016

    Teh awesome, Jen.

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  • Rpayton
    Rpayton Member Posts: 235
    edited February 2016

    Andrea: love the sin city photos! The fun is way overdue. Happy for you!

    Jen: that shade of blue is adorable! Have fun with it! 😁

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2016

    Jen, that hair is a fun shade of blue!!!!!!!

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  • ThePrincess
    ThePrincess Member Posts: 424
    edited February 2016

    LOVE THE BLUE!

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  • lovlilynne
    lovlilynne Member Posts: 405
    edited February 2016

    Littlebluehair! Love it!

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2016

    Dizz, Remind me again when you're getting your lump reevaluated. I've been thinking of you!

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  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited February 2016

    My pre-op appointments are next Wednesday. I'll have bloodwork, MO, Naturopath, Nutrition, Care Manager, U/S, EKG, Respiratory, P/T, S/O follow-up and then P.S. I am not sure if the S/O or the P.S. is evaluating the lump. Probably P.S. because he's the one doing the reconstruction /revisions the next day. The little trouble maker doesn't seem to have changed at all in the last month. I am really starting to believe that it's a suture granuloma. It's got that really hard, beadlike feel to it.

    Thanks for thinking about me kbeee. It is so very nice to know that there are people who 'get' what it's like to go through the motions of everyday life while quietly screaming on the inside. I am still hanging in there and keeping calm.

    We took DS to Disneyland again this weekend. Riding in the car was the hardest part for me. After being still, It is so painful to get moving again. However, I found that I could manage relatively well if I just kept moving. I also am troubled by a feeling of weakness. We took DS on his favorite thrill rides and I found that the G-forces were too powerful for me this time. Frustrating!

    I know that a lot of joint pain and weakness can be normal after treatment. Since I am not on any hormonal treatments, I can only assume that I should be getting better and not worse. Since the pain is getting worse (or at least it was before I started diclofenac) this is what scares me that there is a greater problem.

    Right now, I am praying that all the pain will be gone after I wake up from surgery and it will leave just as mysteriously as it arrived.

    LITTLEblue, love the hair. It looks like it's getting some length too. Mine seems stuck at this length. I have a new appreciation for how hard of a time my 11 year old son has doing his hair in the morning and why he always just wants to wear a hat.




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  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited February 2016

    Oh...I almost forgot to share a non-cancer related story about something that happened this morning.

    DS and I went to the Y as usual. Instead of coming straight home, we needed to run to Target for DS to get new socks. He's growing like a yeti and actually outgrew his socks. Anyway, we also needed to run by the health food market for snacks for our upcoming trip. In between, we decided to squeeze in lunch at a fast food place. Nothing like chowing down on a burger between the gym and the health food store....right. Okay...I am so far from the main idea here, it's embarassing.

    Just as we got out of the car, this older guy looks at DS and says "What? No school today?" DS looked at me as if to say...ack! stranger danger mom. I jumped in and said, "we homeschool, thank you" and then we kept on walking. He then asks DS if he knows his times tables and can he tell him what 6x9 is. DS stared back at the man blankly. I attempted to laugh it off as if the guy couldn't possibly think that giving my son a math test in a parking lot was appropriate. Then, the guy starts lecturing us about how important it is for ds to know his times tables like his birthdate. I looked at the guy and said that as it's not appropriate for children to talk to strangers, he wouldn't get a reply to that question either. We turned and kept walking to the door. As I looked back, the man was still standing there shaking his head. WTF? I chomped back by desire to go off on him big time and instead yelled back "Don't judge! Maybe I can come quiz your children." Where does he get off. He doesn't know anything about us or my ds's academic abilities or disabilities for that matter. What a JERK! It's non of his business what my son knows, doesn't know, or if he can perform his times tables like a monkey in a parking lot. Does he hang out in public school parking lots and quiz children as they leave for the day? His tax money isn't paying for my son's homeschool education. It's non of his business. I also couldn't help noticing that this guy's car was parked in a handicapp space....but since it wasn't any of my business what his need to park there entailed, I didn't harass him about it. After we walked in, DS just looked at me and said, "54".



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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited February 2016

    Thanks, Dizz! Wow, it seems like you have been thru a lot. And that guy sounds really creepy. Good come back! Glad you are keeping it together right now. We are all thinking of you. Sorry you are stiff and in pain. I know I am too. All the damn time! Hope that improves with time. Yrrf. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts for a good resolution for you!

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited February 2016

    Oh good god. Just saw my MO and RO climbing at my climbing gym. Gave me a shot of anxiety! The brain is weird. I still haven't calmed down.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2016

    My MO lives in my town, as does the RO's PA. They are both really nice, but if I see them in the store, I might run! I probably would not run from MO, but definitely from anyone associated with radiation!!!!!

    Dizz, That man was way out of line. Glad your son has better manners than the man! Keep us posted on how the appointments go.


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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited February 2016

    Well, this day last year I was going in to have dye shots prior to my surgery.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2016

    So glad you're on the other side now!

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited February 2016

    ugh. And the body and the brain seem to "remember" these dates. I'm glad you are blessed with a cooperative brain. All the same, sending good medicine to you this week.

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited February 2016

    Yay survival!!!!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited February 2016

    It's my cancerversary, which I've decided falls on the date of my surgery, when we killed it with knives. The poison and nukes were applied in an abundance of caution. It was interesting to ask my wife to narrate the day to me and to see what I remembered and didn't, and to fill each other in. Maybe I'll take some scar photos this weekend to document a year of (intermittently treatment-interrupted) healing.

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited February 2016

    Scars are sexy! I love how you think ksusan. You killed it, danced on its grave, and salted the ground. Good work!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited February 2016

    I still maintain that the answer to "What happened to you?" is "Knife fight with a mermaid."

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2016

    Congrats on getting past this milestone.

    A year ago, I got home from the hospital after my reexcision, ALND, and oophorectomy surgeries. I'd had to stay overnight. I got the phone call where the doc said, well we thought the lymph node was positive, but we just found out that it was not a lymph node. Those all tested negative. It also did not have any breast tissue though. We do not know what it is. The anesthesia and pain meds removed the filter, soy response was , "what do you mean they don't know what it is?! They are pathologists. Their job is to know what it is!!!!!" They sent it to Mayo.... It was not a lymph node and no breast tissue was present. Just a nice little IDC tumor growing in the soft tissue.😖 that little sucker threw me for a loop! Glad it's gone and a new year has begun. Inching closer to making it past where I did last time

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited February 2016

    hugs to Kbee and Ksusan- glad those days are behind you both.

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  • lovlilynne
    lovlilynne Member Posts: 405
    edited February 2016

    Today is my surgerversary too. I had never had surgery for anything before. That part was surreal. I woke up during the surgery. They told me it would take 7-10 business days before I got my results, and that was accurate since they didn't call with results until 7 days later. It's all a blur now. That's probably a good thing.

    Lynne

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  • Positive_spirit
    Positive_spirit Member Posts: 218
    edited February 2016

    Hugs to all of you! Last year, at this time, we were in a whole different place for sure. My blood count is not yet back to normal but my thyroid levels are now okay with meds, and Vitamin D is finally normal.

    Dizz- homeschooling is just fine. People are so judgmental and sorry that you have random people deciding it's necessary for them to have opinions about other people's lives....esp children!

    I LOVE that hair and color, Littleblue!!!!

    Mermaids are vicious, ksusan, viiiccciouss!

    Hugs again to all of you! Watch out for the daily aggressions/microaggressions and remember that we walk on a much higher plane than other people. MUCH, MUCH HIGHER! Walking tall, albeit a little lopsided and not so top-heavy!


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  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited February 2016

    A year ago, I was still ignorant of my impending situation. My 20 year old cat and 16 year old dog had just died. I was getting over the Flu. My yearly physical and first official Mammogram were still 2 weeks away. My parents were being children; arguing and dragging me into it. I was so sad and stressed out. Oh...and I was also finishing up building DS his giant spaceship play structure in the back yard. I was paranoid that our neighbors would get all uppity about it. Never in a million years, did I see the last year ahead of me. That spaceship was the least of my worries.

    image

    I've said it before, but probably not often enough, Thank you all for your support. You don't know how often you kept me company on my sleepless, anxious nights. You were all there with me as I sat in the waiting room to get my PICC lines, after I was admitted into the hospital with neutropenia, and as we sat there waiting for our flights at the airport. You've made me laugh, inspired me to get my butt to the gym, convinced me that drinking that nasty L-Glutamine was worth it, provided me with resources to figure out how to repaint my face to appear more human....this list goes on and on and on.

    A thousand times, Thank You ALL and I look forward to seeing many of these milestones come and go each and every year for a very long time....or at least until we are all so old that our memories fail us and we can no longer remember them.

    P.S. 6 month Dermatology appointment went well today. Nothing found! Yay! Also, I asked her if the little bead/lump/trouble maker felt like a surgical granuloma to her. She said that it did in fact feel like that. Since I had 2 granulomas on my DIEP scar, 1 on my new belly button, and 1 on my ear excision....I'm starting to really believe that this thing is just another sign that my body hates internal stitches. I'm like 99.99% certain that's what it is and only 0.01% freaking out that it's anything to worry about.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2016

    Dizz, I am glad that's what your gut tells you it is, My gut is 4 for 4 so far! Good news from the dermatologist!

    Lynne, I can't imagine having to wait a week!!!!!!

    Positive, my white counts are still a little low. MZo said it may be my new normal. I have never had my thyroid levels checked, but I plan to see GP for a physical over the summer, and may ask her to check them

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited February 2016

    My white count was low last time. We'll see what end of March brings.

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  • DizzParkMom
    DizzParkMom Member Posts: 316
    edited February 2016

    I know that under 3.5 is low. Are you guys under that or just on the lower range? I'm still stuck at 3.4 since PFC.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited February 2016

    every doc had a different cutoff for low. My white count was 3.64. My MO uses 4.2 as the cutoff for low

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited February 2016

    Everyone is doing so well! I love reading these posts not full of hope, cause hope ain't real, but full of legit wellbeing and progress. It's really awesome. Thank you all so much for being the amazing g warrior women you are!

    I had a mole cut off today at the derm. She said it was new and dark and had to die. HELLOOOOOO ledge. Aces and eights, baby. Motherf €$*er. Good thing I have my carefully curated ativan non-tolerance to get me thru until the path comes back. 2 weeks on that. I'm too fu#$£ng young for this. Sorry for the whine. Somehow, had to get it off my chest. Kind of like my killer boobs. Yeeash.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited February 2016

    Kill it and spit in its grave.

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