PTSD? ​I have truly lost my mind.

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whoknows
whoknows Member Posts: 24
edited February 2016 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I'll spare you the details but it's gone.

One little text confirming my appointment this Friday and I'm deep in the throes of depression again.

I'm having "phantom pain" where the 2014 lumpectomy was - coincidentally exactly where the new lump is.

A double dose of anti-anxiety medication didn't help and I'm afraid to take the new stronger stuff.

Did I miss a step here? What happened to regular old depression? Am I 2 steps behind in treating this emotional disease?

I don't like having cancer, but I equally don't like the emotional disease.

One of these illnesses is going to kill me.

I had a day planned. I was out in the morning sun, doing things. Then a text and now I feel completely incapacitated and as if I'm wasting a whole day.

It'll be OK. Only 5 or 6 months of doctors to go and it will end.

I can do 6 months standing on my head.

Thanks for the venue,

cb

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  • labelle
    labelle Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2016

    I'm pretty sure lots of us have undiagnosed PTSD. Dealing with BC is definitely a source of traumatic stress. Hang in there and be kind to yourself.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2016

    cb1504 -- If you haven't already, I would strongly suggest going to see someone such as a psychologist. I had horrible anxiety, and my psychologist suggested doing emdr which is a technique that was developed to help those with ptsd. I don't know why it works, but it basically runs off the idea that your brain hasn't filed some folders appropriately. EMDR is a technique with eye movement or hand tapping that helps to file them, and it worked wonders for me. I have been able to get through my tumor markers and other testing with 1/3 of the anxiety (or what I call normal anxiety) rather than having the anxiety control me during those times. So something like that or just talking to someone could be very helpful for you.

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  • whoknows
    whoknows Member Posts: 24
    edited February 2016

    PTSD never occurred to me until today. I hate to think I'm mentally unbalanced. They used to say, "If you're sane enough to wonder if you're crazy, you're not crazy."

    I may not be crazy but I'm beginning to think I've been damaged. This is the third time I've had to emotionally come to terms with my death and I'm not dead.

    It doesn't get any easier. You put the pain behind you and forget until the next time.

    I'm afraid of the health care options available to me via my insurance. I'm afraid they don't offer much and what they do offer is substandard and will be useless to me. I'll have to stop being afraid and check them out.

    The reason I came here, online is because the local breast care support groups were lacking. This group meets once a month, that group meets 40 miles from my home, etc.

    I see I have my work cut out for me and some online research to do with my insurance company website.

    Thanks for the input,

    cb

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