Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

Jclc83 and Bluedog, there are not words to tell you how much I admire you. It is good that for every woman like me who feels the need to keep on her wig and pretend nothing's wrong to protect her psyche, there is one like you who puts others in a position to process their thoughts about breast cancer. Its because of this and all the "awareness" activities that we can openly discuss what has happened to us with without others thinking that we are dying, or will soon. (Edited to add, Jclc, I am still smiling thinking of your run-in with the product demonstrator at the warehouse store who was hell-bent on showing you her curling irons.)

ChiSandy, I completely get your thoughts on support groups. In 1993 my husband quit drinking, started going to AA, and never looked back. He spent so much of his energy religiously attending meetings and accepting leadership roles that AA became more of a problem than his drinking had ever been. His sponsor encouraged me to go to an Al-Anon group that his wife organized. I went once. At that meeting the designated speaker told the story of how her husband simply could not stay sober. He kept going back to drinking, and eventually died. My thoughts: these women will not want to hear that my issue is that my husband cannot stop going to AA. They might support me in the spirit of fellowship, but many would likely quietly begrudge my feeling that this is a problem. Deep down, I couldn't blame them.

I go hiking for a day and this place explodes!!

Everyone has made great points about everything. This group is so individualized and so strong.

Life is too short. So if I want a glass to make me feel relaxed, I'm going to have one. Not every night and not during treatments. And it's funny, I had a similar experience last night chisandy... I just couldn't finish my second glass of red. A gorgeous 2010, 100 point Spanish Granacha and I just couldn't take another sip. Lucky for DH!

Starting the cleanse tomorrow will hopefully shed a couple of pounds and help me with the no wine. I will have a harder time with no coffee for 3 days, but I do love tea so I'll have that instead.

Ayr- look up dairy and inflammation. A big part of my clean cbc results was due to little inflammation in my body. That's also why I heal well too. Maybe cut back on some dairy if you can't eliminate it completely. I started my vegan diet with a 22 day challenge. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit and 22 to insure it. It empowered me. It's been almost 9 months and I'm still 100% vegan. My cravings for sweets and cheese and processed junk was eliminated. I had a very clean diet before, but I loved to cook with butter and olive oil. I still cool with olive oil, but cut way back on the amount.

I don't eat processed vegan cheese either and like LTF, I make cashew cheese and use nutritional yeast a lot to flavor foods. My vegan pesto is amazing!

Peachy- I would do the same and not walk out onto that beautiful pink ice. I totally hear you on that one.

I do have an appt for a wig on Wednesday. I'm very much ambivalent about it but I'm getting one anyhow. Maybe when I go to dinner with my kids, I'll throw it on for their comfort. Maybe they won't be uncomfortable with my baldness.. I haven't asked them yet. But I'm fully embracing the bald head. And if it helps with awareness... That's a bonus.

I did start posting my journey with this on FB because if I can help one person with early detection, I'll be thrilled. Actually, my dad told me that he went into a local specialty food shop yesterday and the owner said that I inspired her to book a mammogram. She's been putting it off for 3 years. That made me feel good

I had a great hike yesterday with dh. It wasn't crazy and strenuous but enough that I probably shouldn't have done it! There's a 400 straight faced ledge up here in the Mount Washington Valley that is very popular with rock climbers. We got to talk to them at the top. And the views are incredible! We explored the woods for over 2 hours and traveled 4.7 miles and over 11k steps. There were ice climbers, snow shoers, rock climbers and hikers. Here are some cool pictures from our day...

MLC, this is awesome! This was also the reason I finally shared my diagnosis on FB five months after the fact. If I can scare one more woman into getting her mammogram, then I've found the good in the bad of being a cancer patient.

I did start posting my journey with this on FB because if I can help one person with early detection, I'll be thrilled. Actually, my dad told me that he went into a local specialty food shop yesterday and the owner said that I inspired her to book a mammogram. She's been putting it off for 3 years. That made me feel good.

1step, so sorry you had to join the LE sisterhood. But know that you WILL have good days, and doing your exercises, MLD and wearing compression when appropriate will make those good days outnumber the flares.

Here's the thing about support groups--I've pondered my post, and realize that the reasons I'm reluctant to attend one are that I am afraid of being resented by those who have far greater life challenges than I--barring a complete stock market crash and inability of both of us to practice our professions (or uncovered catastrophe befalling my son), we have not and probably won't be bankrupted by my bc (unless one of those idiots on the wrong side of the aisle wins the White House and approves dismantling Medicare & Medicaid and repeal of the ACA, letting insurers run rampant again). I have a housekeeper who's become a dear friend and family member over the past 30 years. I have a husband who not only makes a good living but is willing to go the extra mile for me--and a son who does the same, even though he doesn't drive. I have friends and professional colleagues who are amazingly supportive and accommodating--and who have followed my advice to get mammograms. My comorbidities are mere annoyances and easily and inexpensively controlled. My LE is very mild, when it does flare.

I also fear, and perhaps this is at the core of my reluctance, that I will have nothing valuable to contribute. I've never really been comfortable lurking without adding my two cents--and I suspect that in the bc support group setting those two cents would be utterly superfluous and counterproductive. Nonetheless, I will try (weather permitting) to attend one this Wed. night.

If I'm going to be activist about awareness of any kind, eventually it will be about awareness that though early diagnosis is very important, it is no guarantee against eventual distant recurrence and that there's not enough progress being made about extending length of and improving quality of the lives of Stage IV patients. But I think right now it'll be about LE. I am flabbergasted that the only celebrity who has “outed" herself about having LE is Kathy Bates--apparently so many actresses are afraid that if it became known they have it even mildly they'll never be hired again. I also can't understand why, with broad and deep bipartisan Congressional sponsorship in both houses, the Lymphedema Treatment Act, introduced last spring, is still stuck in committee. Can't wrap my head around why Medicare & insurers are allowed to consider compression garments as vanity items when reconstruction, prostheses and mastectomy bras are covered. I believe that ALL these are essential and must be covered!

ChiSandy, you've contributed a tremendous amount to THIS support group.

Peachy, no I wasn't inspired by George Rodrigue, but thank you for introducing me to him. LOVE!!! I just like the color blue and love dogs. My sweet Nellie, below, looks a little like his blue dog, with the white nose stripe.

HH, so sorry about your friend who died so suddenly.

LovesToFly, I love reading about your transformation! Congrats! I still have room for a few treats in my healthy eating plan, but protein, veggies, and daily exercise rule my world. I don't eat a ton of soy based products, but I don't think it is harmful in moderation. The protein powder I use is egg-based, not soy-based. If you get some nutritional yeast, you'll get more than enough B12 from it.

We have to make choices about so many things - foods, exercise, supplement use, on and on. None of our habits are easy to change, and some seem downright impossible. I feel fortunate that I already had chosen to not drink alcohol for non-breast cancer reasons. Over the last 10 years I've changed my diet and lost 60 pounds, but for other 50 years of my life I was overweight and had the typical American diet. The one thing I know I still need to change is my sleep habits. Every day I tell myself I should get to bed by 10, and every night I stay up way past that.

Ayr1016, I read that turmeric (curcumin) actually enhances the effect of Tamoxifen and also chemo. Did your MO explain her statement? Turmeric is supposedly one of the best anti-inflammatory supplements. If you are overweight, losing 10% or more of your current weight will substantially lower your inflammation markers.

ChiSandy, you are very knowledgeable about so many things! You are a great source of information - thanks! Please never feel guilty that you had it easier than some others. It is a physical and emotional blow to each of us. I like coffee too. As far as dairy, I have Monica Reinagel's Inflammation-Free Diet Plan book, and she gives ratings for the inflammatory or anti-inflammatory effect of most foods. Full-fat dairy appears to be quite inflammatory, but nonfat yogurt is so low it is almost neutral. That's the main source of my dairy. I totally agree that sugar is the main inflammation culprit in the foods we eat!

Katja23, I'm sure the swelling I have in my breast is fluid. Next appt with the BS I'll ask more about it, if it hasn't gone away. I just don't want the upcoming radiation to make it permanent!

Fran, I'm so on board with your outlook. Even if I never have a met from the cancer they just took out, I keep thinking that it started growing once on its own, and it could start again. Lifestyle is the key, and that includes finding joy in each and every day, and not letting worry get the best of our outlook.

Peachy, my DH is very active in AA. I never went to AlAnon either, despite urging from sponsors. Now I view AA (and golf) as his hobby, while mine is hiking and backpacking. We get along so well now that we both feel free to do our own things. This forum meets my cancer support needs very well!

MLP, your hike looks so pretty! I did my first hike since surgery yesterday, at least the first with any hills. My surgery arm feels a little tired today, but not bad. Give your pain a day to go away before you worry about it. Any exercise like hiking puts more demand on your lymph system.

1step, sorry to hear about your LE Hopefully it will remain mild and under control. I will wear a sleeve when I go up to high altitude whether or not I develop LE.

moondust thanks! I do have my treats too! I love nutritional yeast. On popcorn. Mmmm

I got a group of girls to go for dinner tonight. Going to a local Indian place. So excited!

LTfly and Moondust- where do you get nutritional yeast?

I have been trying to keep up with all the posts but you are all so chatty! This is a great group and even though I'm quiet you are all an inspiration.

Chi sandy, I enjoy how you are sharing so much of your life.

Peggy, you are such amazing woman, and I'm happy you are moving this way (I'm in Oregon).

I was pretty discrete when I shared my diagnosis. The toughest ones to tell were definitely family as we lost my sister to BC in 1992. Her kids took it very hard, and now their dad is having chemo for BC, crazy huh. At the same time my husband started having heart problems, was in the hospital between my diagnosis and surgery, then again for 10 days during rads when they finally put in a pacemaker. I admit that it has taken this long for me to "feel" the diagnosis, and I don't like it.

Thanks for being a place I can share. I think having such a group is such a comfort.

ORKnitter, you sure had a boatload of bad things going on when you got Dx'd. I totally get not having time to really process the whole thing. By the time I was able to digest that I had BC, all treatments except my AI were done and I was fine. It's very weird. You are so busy taking care of DH, you just do what you have to do for treatments and go right back to caregiving. How is your BIL doing? Rotten about your DS. Did you have genetic testing done? And how is DH? And you? I'm glad I'm moving west. But boy getting there sure is a royal pain

HUGS!

Peggy, thanks. I kind of feel "done," meaning I would love to move on and forget 2015. DH is doing fine, he does not have the energy he had and doesn't want to tell the cardiologist exactly how fatigued he really is. He tires so fast now. BIL is doing great, he's an avid skier and has been able to ski during his chemo.

I did have BRCA testing and the results were negative. We have 3 daughters so it was important for me them to know. I also have a SIL who has a family history but says that "married women have an advantage because their husbands will feel anything." I am dumbfounded by the absurdity of that.

I understand the difficulties of moving. DH & I lived in So Cal our entire lives then moved 8 years ago. Once the move was finished the relief was surprising. Funny thing is our kids still ask when we are moving Home, but none of them live there anymore.

MLP3, I think my doggie is cute, too, thanks!

ORKnitter, please encourage your hubby to tell his cardiologist that he is fatigued. That's worrisome. He could be depressed. Glad BIL is doing so well! A relief that genetic testing came back negative. Don't you wonder what alternative universe your SIL is living in? Her hubby's going to find it? Really? As Peachy said, Hogwash.

My problem is I've lived in this house 48+ years and the accumulation of stuff shows it. Plus all the stuff from my parents and grandparents that I inherited (that my dear brother now gets since he is likely to have grandchildren and I will not). I'm really looking forward to the next phase of my life and living close to a son will be marvelous. My other son lives in San Diego where I'd love to be but the budget doesn't like it at all.

HUGS!

Peggy, I went to college in SD and completely understand the financial straits. Our life here has completely changed. We are "older" and I had to go back to school to get a marketable skill. I went to work for the first time after raising 5 kids but was grateful for the opportunity. DH is retired and has been for a long time. This diagnosis completely threw a wrench into our lives, add to that his problems and all of a sudden our live have been turned upside down. I don't know if part of my personal pity party is the AI, or if all this is just hitting me. I'm feeling like I could curl up in a corner for a while and just let all this pass me by,but I know I will have to work on Tuesday so my pity party will be short lived.