January 2016 Chemo!

I remember hearing they can help to stave off rash too, I think

good luck MB!!

Keepsake you poor thing! Hang in there. Rest and take care of yourself. Sending positive thoughts your way!

hi ladies,

i have been a bit out of it since my second dose of TC on Wed. Finally buzzed off my hair and surprise, i feel so much better. what with having not to clean after all the hair that was practically everywhere last two weeks.

very tired and have some body aches, but i think this round is slightly more bearable than the first one.

best of luck to all the lovely brave women, and keep the humour coming! though i'm not able to post much, your posts here give me so much strength and laughs too

Wow! You guys look gorgeous! I agree that it's uncomfortable because we never see bald women, and so we think having hair is the only acceptable way. I applaud you for being brave and embracing the new, beautiful you.

I survived my week of teaching at the Petri dish. My Iron infusion didn't happen, and it took three days to figure out what was going on. They had to switch me to another drug because they couldn't get the first one from the manufacturer. Long story short, it's a 20 min. Infusion instead of the 4-5 hour one they told me it would be.

So, they can give it to me during my third chemo which is this coming Thursday. I'm hoping this round goes better than round two, and the iron helps me get my energy back sooner.

Enjoy your weekend!

I'm day 15 and my hair is sshedding so bad today so I'll be buzzing in the next couple days. I had medium long hair at the beginning of this journey. I week before my 1st infusion I cut it to shoulder lengthy, then last weekend had it cut very short above my ears just trying to gradually get use to having less hair before I rock the bald. Funny everybody,including my kids, love it better short. You guys that are already rockin the bald look wonderful and I hope I look half as great as you guys

Hi beautiful ladies,

I've been slow checking in after my infusion #1 because it's been hard to face my computer (source of so many things I wanna do but don't seem to have the energy/attention span/motivation for, and then feel guilty or mopey about not doing). But I have been reading all the posts via phone, and knowing others are out there doing what I'm doing and obsessing on what I'm obsessing on!) is a great comfort. You ladies rock.

Anyway, I'm on Day 10 after infusion #1 of TC. Was generally doing well with the SEs (mostly achy/spacy/tired, with a side helping of bad taste in my mouth/buzzy lips that lasted til about Day 5 or 6). A little constipation the first few days as the Zofran they gave me in the IV (and probably the chemo drugs themselves) worked their way out of the system, to be replaced with something just on this side of diarrhea, but handleable. Nausea nonexistent due to judicious application of medical marijuana, and Advil seemed to damp down any achy bits. Have had some small red itchy rashy patches in my chemo hand over the last few days and plain coconut oil seems to work great on soothing those. I'm also trying to drink 100 oz a day of water to help flush things through, continuing regular chiropractic care and had an acupuncture treatment. However, because my WBC started out so high we delayed my Neulasta shot until a week out (Thursday evening, Day 8) and now here I am in the wee hours of the morning on Day 10 and my back right in the center of my sacrum/pelvic area is killing me with that crazy skele-gro sharp pain others have mentioned. Yes I took Claritin (24 hour kind) on both Thursday night and last night, and I just now took some Advil, which at least seems to dampen/blunt the pain. Any other suggestions?

As far as the hair adventures go, yesterday I went to the hairdresser to get a super short cut in preparation for the hair fallout I anticipate will happen next week sometime. I have never in my life had hair any shorter than chin length and this was a huge change for me. I wanted a little time to get used to how it would feel to be bald without actually being bald yet. I can tell you for sure that it feels weird not to have the weight and the movement of hair that I was so used to. And wow the back of my neck is cold. Scarves to the rescue, good thing it's winter still and I have a bunch of good ones! But despite the fact that it actually seems to look pretty cute short like this, I'm finding myself mopey and sad when people compliment me, because dammit, I didn't want this short hair (I didn't want these new smaller perkier boobs either), I was happy with how things were. I guess this is grieving. Emotionally all these little losses add up. Each thing that happens, each side effect we endure, each change away from our previous "normal" selves we experience on this treatment adventure is still a damn lemon, no matter how sweet the lemonade we make of it during or afterwards.

Anyway I'll try to post a few pics for before and after reference. And I'm intending to rock the bald look once I get there, with hats for warmth as needed. Verinica31 and Lovestofly (and all others who posted pics) you are gorgeous and you inspire me!

Keep on rocking it, BC Sisters!

"each side effect we endure, each change away from our previous "normal" selves we experience on this treatment adventure is still a damn lemon, no matter how sweet the lemonade we make of it during or afterwards.

So very true and beautifully said. I try so hard to be positive and optimistic and enjoy my life as much as possible, and I think that's a good thing, but it's a bit of a double-edged sword because I think some of my friends don't recognize how hard this really is. They just think "Jill seems to be fine". But even though I am positive and optimistic and enjoying my life and doing very well through this (I think, it's still sucks and I still need some extra attention!

(((((hugs)))))

I think part of what it is for me is I'm actually tolerating chemo very well, so people keep asking what they can do for me, but there's nothing I really need people to do for me. I don't need people to cook for me, or take me out, or bring me things. So now people have stopped asking

But that doesn't mean I don't need people!

Nobody seems to know how to be there for me if I'm not telling them something really concrete they can do to help me, and I'm not sure how to say to them I just want them to come visit me, or text me and bitch to me about work. Obviously it's not everybody, there are some people who are being really awesome, but a lot of people have really dropped the ball and disappointed me. I think the hardest is that the worst one has been my best friend, it's really hard to feel so ignored by her. I think she is scared and doesn't know what to say or do, and I feel bad about that, but I wish she could push it aside and be there for me anyway. Includes me in group things and stuff like that, but throughout all of this she has never visited me or asked me to go out for coffee or a drink alone or anything like that. She has given me zero private time and that has been hard

Jen, how many treatments do you have to have?

I got my head shaved yesterday. Turns out my brother shaved his too, even though I didn't want anyone to do that. He actually looks better than I do, because I have bald spots. So I won't be showing you my bald head, but here is my free wig from my LGFB class. It's a Raquel Welch heat resistant synthetic. The patient navigator suggests this auburn color, saying that it looks good on a surprising number of people.

I'm going to need an eye lid lift to get rid of those wrinkles!

All of you look are beautiful with or without hair. I was a little blue this week because my hair was falling off by the clumps. I honestly did not think it would effect me but it did. I know it's just hair, but losing it made me feel like I would really look like a cancer patient.  Two of my sisters shaved their hair before me and so did my daughter, so that gave me the push I needed. I am embracing my baldness and I should have done this sooner. Excited about Super Bowl; so many things to do so little time. I hope everyone has a blessed Saturday! Thankful for today    

LovesToFly...I know exactly how you feel about people disappointing you. One of my dearest friends who also happens to live right around the corner, has yet to just spend some one-on-one time with me. She sends a text every day to ask how I feel. She constantly asks me out to lunch or to play cards, never acknowledging that I might just want to have a little visit from her. She has never offered to go to an infusion with me to keep me company. Never asked if I want her to pick up something at the food market. It's so strange. And, it makes me feel very alone sometimes, like she has forgotten what I'm dealing with. But, then there are those who are really there for me. This is a strange and scary road we are traveling. That's why we're to lucky to have everyone on this site who can understand and lend an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

LovesToFly...have you found that some of your most casual friends are there the most? I read this in an article written by a young man with leukemia.

"Your relationships are about to change. All of them. Some will get stronger. They will probably not be with the people you would expect. The people you want to handle this well might not be able to for a variety of reasons. Some of the reasons will be selfish. Some of them will be entirely innocent and circumstantial. All of them will be forgivable"

Cathytoo: That is really true. And it's the people who just treat me like they always have are the ones I appreciate the most. One of my friends posted on my FB wall for my birthday about 3 weeks ago, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BALDY!!" Lol, it wouldn't be that great today, but at the time it was hilarious. My boss had cancer a few years ago, so it's not a taboo subject. I can say stuff like, "Hey, I should get a break, I have cancer" and I'll get something like, "You had two brain aneurysms, too, quit trying to get out of work. I just want normal. I think people who aren't so emotionally invested have an easier time dealing with it, maybe?

LovestoFly: I'd wear a scarf. It won't be distracting either way - like WIG or HEAD. It's just you in a scarf. Check out the youtube link I posted, if you have a pashmina around, you can cook up something fabulous.

That was my halfway attempt to try one of the basic ties so I would have some kind of idea what to do. The scarf is dark so it's hard to see, but it looked really pretty.

Geeper: Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another bald beauty!!!!!!!!!!! Y'all all look so amazingly beautiful. I wish it made me more brave. I just dread Wednesday. I just feel like a 47 year old one boobed now balding ......ugh, and now a whiner. I can't believe you had all those women in your family doing that with you - that's just really amazing. I bet y'all all look gorgeous together. And - can I have your eyebrows?

And my bestie - who's a nurse - and has quit work and is going to grad school online, I get text messages from her and that's it. I think some of my problem is that I'm just so darn independent, I've really refused a ton of offers to go with me to doctor's appointments from a lot of people. Now that I'm finally really anxious about going to the hospital - like how am I going to react to chemo this time - no one is offering to go. But it's not like I've *told* anyone that. It's a double-edge sword, going to the hospital by myself, I get work done, shop for some Kendra Scott, lay in bed get poisoned and do Duolingo. To me, all that alone time is awesome. Then again, I look around in the waiting room and almost everyone has someone with them.

LovesMyVizla: Your wig is gorgeous and that color is great on you! You look beautiful!!!!!!!! That was my fall haircolor before I chopped and bleached! Oh, and Raquel Welch wigs are on Patty's Pearls website if you want to get more. I got my Jon Renau wig for 20% off. I hear they even have BOGO sales. And I wanna see a pic of you with your Vizla, I'm assuming you have one of those gorgeous pups!

Lovemyvizsla, I only have 6 cycles (and I've got 2 under my belt). I'm a recently single mom with a super active 6 year old boy, so my big worry is not being able to care for him that way I expect to be able to. I'm lucky, though, I have lots of people offering help. And I'm learning to accept it. And BTW, I think you look fantastic!

Geeper, you too are stunning.

All of you ladies who've shaved your heads are giving me the gumption to do it myself. I have a ridiculous partially bald head. One question for you, did your head feel irritated at all after you shaved it off? ANd how close do you recommend? I've been planning to see what happens next wednesday when I'm day 14 of round 2 - my head is nice and soft and not irritated, so I haven't been too motivated to do anything.