January 2016 Chemo!

Well Ladies I took the plunge and had my head buzzed this evening. My long hair was coming out by the handfuls and matted up in the shower. So that was it for me. What a relief to have that done! Hope everyone has a great evening! Round 2 for me will be on Tues.

My MO said to rinse with baking soda/salt water for mouth sores.

Well, I was out with the dogs just now and I pulled on some hair - just to see. It came out in my hand and I burst into tears. I really thought I was mentally prepared. The worst thing is, I'm here in Louisiana until Wednesday and all my baldy stuff is in Texas because I just thought I wouldn't need it.

Do y'all think I'll be ok until Wednesday? In a pinch I *think* I should have a cheapy wig here on Saturday - like a waist length cosplay wig lol. I'm not even sure my bf has actual clippers. I planned on having my sister's gf do it....the whole female vibe, sisterhood energy thing....plus he's seen/done enough with my deformities.

Let me tell y'all some funny stories about my hospital visit. I guess I'm the chemo celebrity because of my superrash. When I went in to see the MO, the NP brought in someone else who was curious. A nurse who did my intake came in because she heard I was coming in and wanted to check on me. The MO brought in so many people it was standing room only. He said this was a very "special" case. I couldn't stop laughing. I apologized to everyone that I didn't have anything fabulous to show them.

So his solution is to lower the Taxol dose from 170 to 144, up the steroid that they give me before, and then have me take steroid pills for two days after. They gave me enough steroids that I was hopped up the whole way home - and it took me more than an hour longer to get. It wound up being a day where I got up at 440 and got home at 945 and I was buzzing around at midnight. Usually I'm not lucky enough to get that reaction. So anyway, I *HATE* taking steroids. When I had the brain aneurysm, the dr wanted me to take them and at first I just wouldn't because of the fat factor. Then he said I really had to, for the swelling you know, so they could operate. Back to my MO. I said, "So on top of POISONING ME, and giving me IV steroids, I have to take MORE?! Are you trying to turn me into a blimp so you can roll me into chemo?" He starts laughing and says no no no, that side effect is generally with people who take them for prolonged periods, this is a test, blah blah blah, portion control. I said, "Portion control is hard when I'm so hungry all the time I want to chew my arm off." Then he says, "I promise, this isn't going to make you gain weight." Me glaring back, "I'm holding you to that." He says, "I know. You're a lawyer."

Today all I have is some joint pain in my knees, but that's about it.

by the way I also thought I was prepared, and already had a very short buzz cut, but I totally burst into tears the first time I gave my hair an experimental little tug and it came out easily.

@Frill,

Parting with my hair was the hardest! I also did the experimental tug on my hair and it all came out in my hand. I just breathed deep in cried a bit. It's freaking hard! My hair follicles actually were hurting and burning for a while. I have read that the hair that comes out the quickest grows back the quickest after treatment.

With patches of hair on my head, I stood in he mirror and cut the rest off with my shears, the burning subsided after I got in the shower and deep conditioned my scalp/peach fuzz. I wrapped my head in a scarf and sometimes wear wigs.

It's hard but I know you can get through this change. Please stay encouraged! Wish I had the courage to post my pic but I'm not there just yet.

You ladies can count me in as another one that thought they were prepared for the mental aspect of hair loss. Um...I wasn't, at all. I was completely shocked when it was fine one day, then falling out by the hands full the next. I think it's just part of the process and completely normal. I am embracing my bald head now and having fun playing with all of the different scarves. I have to see it as part of the healing/getting well process. I just wish someone would have warned me about how cold a bald head can be and I'm in sunny SoCal! LOL

I completed round two on Wednesday and am happy to say I do feel a bit better this round. I did, however, have a very long day in the infusion chair. What should have taken three hours, wound up taking seven hours due to a severe reaction I had to the Taxotere. The first round they gave me 50 mg of Benadryl and went slowly with each of my meds. This time, they only gave me 25 mg (even though I warned them about my drug allergies) and sped up each infusion. That will be the last time they do that. I went from 0 to 60 feeling just fine and then felt like I was having a heart attack, couldn't breathe, felt like I had an elephant on my chest, thought I was going to throw up and turned beet red...all within seconds. Pretty scary stuff. I am self-injecting Neupogen this time around to hopefully avoid another hospitalization.

Thoughts and prayers for all of you amazing women...we've got this!!

Zinny, that's exactly how I tie mine and I love it. I've gotten several compliments from complete strangers and had two ladies ask me how I did it during my treatment this week.

Veronica31, you are gorgeous! I too love the bald/low cut look it's nice and exotic. I just cold here in PA, I wear scarfs due to the weather. I wear makeup and make sure my eyebrows are shaped and boom I'm done. Nice and easy. I think I'll keep it short after treatment.

Thanks, everyone. I just wish my leg hairs would pull out too!!!!!! Ha! But if what's gone first comes back first, yay! I'm going to get my lash extensions put on, I guess for the last time depending. I hope I can get the hang of falsies. Reading through all your responses made me feel a lot better. Thank you. I used this as an excuse to finish off my Wrapunzel tichel order to make sure I had scarves that pretty much went with the basic colors I wear - red, black, pink, cobalt blue, burgundy, dark green, peach. Oh, I just realized I didn't order anything with peach or pink, but that can wait. *rofl*

Veronica: If I look like you do when my hair is clipped short, I wouldn't wear anything ever except to court. Wow, you look amazing!!!!! You're pretty in your av pic, but you look like a model now. Seriously. I'm showing this to my sister's gf to see if she can do that for me. You don't need to wear a wig, you need to take some b&w keepsake shots you look so hot!!!!

Wendi: I'm so sorry you had a hard time with this last round! I can't imagine having to lay there for that long, bed, lunch, computer whatever wouldn't make that fun. And then being sick on top of it? *hugs* I have tons and tons of scarves and youtube videos saved for wrapping, that one fun thing. I don't see anyone at the hospital with their heads wrapped like this, so I'm excited to try them out. I guess I'll be doing that on Thursday, lol.

Zinny: I hope your platelets come back up. I know what you mean about wanting to get back to it. I just want to be done.

Jinx: Thank you. I remember you from the Nov. surgeries thread, right? It's nice to have some continuity. I know it'll be ok. I just thought I was so big and prepared, going and getting the big pre-whack and all. It's just like Wendi said, I didn't expect to go from nothing one day to it coming out in my hands the next day. That's the shocker.

Lovestofly: All my hats are in H-town. I'm trying not to beat myself up about this. I'm just such a prepared boy scout and then I left all preparedness. But I'm looking at a full scarf hanger and there's more in the closet. I'm going to try to make it, but I can scarf it if I have to.

LovesmyVizla: The first thing I thought of was - not washing it, not touching it, not nothing-ing it! A couple of years I trained my hair to just wash it on the weekends and wow it was so good for my hair. So I'm totally ok with not washing it through the weekend. Just trying to touch it as little as possible.

Thanks again everyone for the encouragement. I'm just glad I'm not the only one tugging on my hair - just to see. *Huge hugs, ladies.*

Anyone care to share a photo of the side tie scarf?

LovesToFly- I love it! I just read your blog and I completely agree with it. This will just be a new normal for me. You look beautiful by the way.

Frill- Thanks! That might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. And Wednesday might be risky. I'd take others' advice and baby it or get something to cover it. My hair didn't last too long once it started falling out, maybe 4 days, but I was also pulling at it every day to preemptively get it before it was all over the house. I think most people have that reaction to the hair loss. You think you're ready, but then when it happens, it's so shocking. For me it was the worst when I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I'd forget what I looked like and always be so surprised and sad when I looked in the mirror.

LoveMyVizsla, it's not the best pic, but the only one I have on my iPad.

The scarf my daughter has on is actually my go to right now because it goes perfectly with jeans! :

Virus, low-grade fever hanging on. Both viral and bacterial conjunctivitis are trying to glue both eyes shut. Gloppy mess. Only have been out for medical appointments, but turn stomach of any poor soul who looks at me. Got eye and nose meds. Hand sanitizer is my constant companion. At med appointments my favorite line is "I just washed my hands (or used hand sanitizer) and didn't touch anything." Am basically quarantined now to protect others from my germs. Days in cycle for lowest wbc start tomorrow.

Hello! 

Can anyone tell me why we may need a steroid with chemo?  I missed that one. 

Thanks!