DIVORCE

My partner of 18 years decided we should end our relationship on New Year's Day. She had initially told me things had to change in Nov 2014 as I lay in the hospital bed following a double tram flap surgery. It had been a long year - for me, for her, for our kids. I was diagnosed in Jan. - had double mastectomy in Feb (on my 46th birthday) - went through chemo and half way through radiation when I got an infection that took them 6 weeks to diagnose - ended up being MRSA around the left TE. After the infection ruptured, I had TEs removed and was in the hospital a week on IV antibiotics (this was the 4th hospital visit in 5 weeks). Then I had to wear a wound vacuum as the infection left a 4 inch hole in my chest - the vacuum didn't work. I then had the tram flap surgery - and as you know this involves having most of your stomach tissue removed and is a long recovery. When my partner told me she was unhappy and things had to change - I was devastated. This was the first time in months I had hope (done with treatments and the complications over) and it was crushed in the same day. We tried (at least that is what I thought we were doing) for the next 13 months - but looking back I realize that she never intended to repair our relationship - she was done. She says that I have been depressed for many years and that made me irritable and mean. It made her depressed to the point that she started drinking too much. I started seeing a therapist, got on antidepressants - but it was too late - she had already made up her mind. Any way - we have 4 kids together (ages 14, 14, 10, and 8). She bought a new house and will be moving out soon. We will share custody of the kids. I am so sad - don't want to have a pity party but just don't see how someone who was supposed to love me, had committed to a lifetime together - could just walk away - without trying to fix things - especially after all the difficulty I had with the cancer, treatment, and complications. Can anyone make sense of this? Anyone else out there in a similar situation.