Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

sloan, I missed the post about your son.

You all have such wonderful, inspirational passions: exercising, music, children, meditation. And then there's me: get the damn house decluttered, downsized and ready to put up for sale March 1st. Not sure what you'd call that. My passion is to be living in Spokane 6 months from now!

I'm in your pockets everyone who has procedures of any kind this week. Like everyone else, I'm not able to keep track of them, but I am reading and thinking about you.

614, Hugs!

Everyone: Loads of love and hugs! I think you all need them!

HUGS!

Hi Ladies- I am not sure if this will work? I see many ladies are talking about chemo brain. So I did a search to see if there is anything that might help. I came across the term Super Brain Yoga. I am now going to try this for it is so easy and you can do it at home. Just search for those words and you can see what I am talking about. It would be interesting to see if it helps.

When I met with my RO for the first time, he explained the the results of the trial in which he participated and was recently completed: in women >60 who are at least 5 yrs postmenopausal, and who are in stage 1A (with tumor size 1.5cm or smaller), short (15-session) protocol of high-dose rads to just the tumor cavity proved to have identical long-term survival to that of the standard-dose 33-tx whole-breast protocol--and with fewer or milder SEs. He said I was a candidate, especially because of the location of my tumor (10:00 on the R breast). His predictions turned out to be correct, except that my mammary seroma became more enlarged and the tissue encapsulating it fibrosed more than expected. But seeing as how I had NO fatigue and NO discomfort or skin problems, I'll take it, despite now developing what appears to be subclinical-to-mild LE. I suspect, though, it wouldn't have been triggered had I not been mildly-to-moderately obese (BMI>32). But we don't get the gift of hindsight: until last Aug., I had no idea I was at risk for bc, especially after so many dead-bang-normal annual mammograms and no family hx. Until then, I thought the only risks my obesity carried were to my endurance and my vanity, and that going from a BMI of nearly 40 down to 34 was accomplishment enough.

Dear Everyone:

Thank you again for all of your support.

One thing that I have learned is that we much all advocate for ourselves.  We must be informed and ask questions.  We must insist that our doctors listen to our concerns and that our questions are answered in a satisfactory manner.  I have realized that I can always count on myself.  My mother has been invaluable to me throughout my bc ordeal.  I am so fortunate to have her.  I also have terrific children, wonderful friends, a great brother, and a compassionate boyfriend.  My support system is strong.  That has been a huge help to me.

Dear Brightsocks:

The first person whom I met when I went for my RO appointment was a fantastic Physician's Assistant.  She spent an hour with me going over the tx plan.  At the time, I thought that I would be having rads in Florida where I live, rather than at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston TX.  She still spent time with me, even though I told her that I would not be using her office for rads.  After meeting with her, my terrific RO came into the examining room.  He answered even more questions and spent a lot of time with me.  I am sorry but I do not remember all of the specifics because I had just had my lx surgery less than 1 week prior.  What I do remember is that they drilled into my head that rads is a 1 shot deal and that all breast tissue must be radiated without radiating the heart and lungs.  My bc was on my left side which makes rads more difficult.  They actually spent time with me going over questions that I should ask radiologists in Florida.  (I was a candidate for whole breast rads only.  There are other types of rads.) 

When I went to the first RO in Florida, he answered all of my questions and said that he would take my case to the team.  A few days later, I got a call from a bs (who performed a biopsy for me a few years prior so I knew him) who asked me when I wanted to schedule my BMX.  I said, "What BMX.  I just had a double lx, breast reduction, and a breast lift.  He told me to speak with the RO in Florida.  The RO in FL called me the next day and I heard him say, "You need a BMX or your bc will definitely recur."   He could not possibly have said that but that is what I heard.  He must have said that there is a good chance that it will recur.  (Extraordinarily stressful phone call!)

I called the Physician's Assistant in Texas and she calmed my fears.  She asked my Texas RO and my BS and she told me that both my RO and BS said that I did not need a BMX.  My BS said that she would be happy to perform a BMX if I wanted one, but she felt that would be "barbaric".  However, I was still waiting for my genetic test results to come back so if I tested positive, I would have had a BMX.  Luckily, I was negative, aside from my Variable of Unknown Significance (VUS).  MY RO and BS felt that the lx plus rads and Arimidex/Anastrazole would be appropriate tx plus high surveillance and MO appts.

I went to another RO in Florida.  He seemed great.  I called the PA in Texas.  She said that the type of rads that he suggested (I forgot the name) is extremely expensive and gives too much radiation to breast tissue.  She said that I should not have that tx because I may have side effects down the road. That is when I made the decision to have my rads at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX.  I had wanted to have rads in Florida so that I would not have had to take off of work.  My colleague was dealing with a cancer dx with her fiance and I did not want to be out of work at the same time that she was out. Her fiance died in 3 months from his dx.  It was awful.  It turns out that my insurance co. would have paid for the higher priced rads until I reached my cap.  Then, I would have been responsible for the payments.  Thank God that I decided to have my tx in Texas.  I would have reached my cap in 1 tx and then I would have been bankrupted.  I already struggle so much financially. 

My PA walked me through the process every step of the way prior to my rads.  She was a lifesaver.  After Rads, My RO has called me several times to make sure that I am ok.  (Since my RO ended in October 2014, I had a biopsy in May 2015 and another biopsy in November 2015.)  My RO looked at my MRI, Mammo, and Sono images from May and gave me a second opinion.  He called me and spent time on the phone with me.  He also called me again when I was scheduling my f/u in Texas in November.  My RO and PA in Texas truly saved my life from both a mental and physical perspective.

In addition, my RO said that I had breast tissue that wrapped around my side.  He had never seen that before.  He gave a presentation to other M.D. Anderson Cancer Center RO's about how to radiate patients such as me.  I am so glad that I had all of my tx in Texas.

Good luck to you Brightsocks.  Sorry about the long winded explanation.  However, the choice of RO is one of the most important decisions that you will make.  If the RO does not do the rads correctly then it will impact the rest of your life.  A skilled RO is crucial.

brightsocks- I'll be in your pocket tomorrow. Please share afterwards. I meet with my MO Thursday for post op and surgery outcome. It's funny, but Dana farber doesn't assign you an RO. Mgh did.

614- Happy Birthday to your son🎉🎂 my son is 17, middle is 21 and a jr in college and oldest 22 in grad school. All great kids and super driven. I divorced their biological father when they were 7,5 and 2. He was becoming a highly functional prescription pill addict while running the family business... Funny how they think that just because they have money, they're fine. I also caught him having an affair with a much younger woman who was not attractive at all! Long story short... I was in and out of court at least once a month. No lie. He was a control freak and thought that if he couldn't control me as my husband, he would withhold child support, not drop off the kids on time, not show up to pick up, etc... I eventually remarried to a wonderful man who actually adopted my 3 kids 8 years ago. Their biological father gave them up for a life of drugs and what he called "fun". He physically abused his second wife, is now married to a 28 year old polish mail order bride and he's in jail! I'm not sure what for. I'm thinking I got out at just the right time!

We all draw strength from somewhere. But I think that my situation and the 10 years of fighting that monster has helped me find my strength and look at life in a more meaningful way. Maybe it's helped me stay strong throughout this ordeal...? who knows. But 614, it sounds as though you are mentally tough, a great mom and a better person for tolerating your ex when he still owes you money. That just fries my ass that they do that. It's not hurting you as they want it to, it's hurting the kids.

Dear MLP:

You and your children are so lucky that your X gave up his parental rights so that your new husband could adopt them. Your new husband sounds like a wonderful man.  You did get out in the nick of time and thank God that your X did not abuse you.  Your kids and mine are all near the same age.  Your kids sound terrific.

Good luck getting your results soon.

I would love to be skiing with you.  My family and I always went skiing in Vermont as I was growing up. It is so much fun.  When we became adults, my brother and I ran ski tours as guides (weekend job) so that we could ski for free and not have to drive from Long Island, NY to the ski areas. That was great.

My x-husband and I get along.  It is much better for our chilodren.   My x is not withholding money from me because he is trying to get back at me.  He does not have money because he made many poor decisions in his life and therefore, he does not give me the child support that he owes to me.  I am MUCH better off without him.  He cheated on me and he did not treat me well.  It has been a hard road but my life is much better as a single parent than it would have been if I had remained married to my x-husband.  I was with him for 17 years but married for 12 and living together for 15 years.

I am so thankful for my wonderful children.  I am so lucky.  My divorce was extremely difficult but it definitely made me a much stronger person.  I will never let myself be treated poorly again.

Dear Brightsocks:

Good luck tomorrow.

Dear ChiSandy:

Good luck on losing the weight.  Good luck to you Sloan.  Good for you that you are running.

Dear Peggy:

It must have been so difficult to care for your DH, especially while being dx and treated for bc.  I am so sorry for your loss.  That is devastating.  I am glad that you will be moving near your children and that you will be able to be a full time MIL.  Your daughters in law are so lucky to have you as their MIL.  We are all lucky that you will be President and that you are on this Thread.  LOL

Problem:

My son is thrilled that I made the pumpkin pie for his birthday.  Unfortunately, I am now eating the pumpkin pie! I have gained so much weight from the medically induced menopause, from taking the Arimidex/Anastrazole, and mostly from job stress and eating all of my meals at work due to the long hours.  I realize that I should not have made the pumpkin pie because I apparently, have no will power when it comes to homemade pumpkin pie.  I am glad that I am now walking during my lunch break at work.

HUGS to everyone.

Dear Octogirl:

Congratulations on your decision to retire in 2 years.  I am happy for you that your husband is in agreement with you.  Have fun figuring out where to move to.

Octogirl, very wise to plan ahead. DH retired at 62 due to his Parkinson's (though we didn't realize what it was at the time). He was quite ready. I wanted to work until I dropped. I had a job I loved. Then the economy tanked and I was laid off. Dear boss (who was and is a great friend) found me another job and that lasted a year and a half. Then I was laid off from that one. I had been laid off 2 months when DH had a widow-maker heart attack and that ended life as we knew it. We never got to travel in our retirement. Please ladies, ENJOY LIFE!! I understand all the obligations you younger gals have. But for those of us who are older, do not let the opportunities slip away. End Sermon!

HUGS!

Sloan- me too...missed the post about your son. And, somehow missed the details about your son, Molly?

Ayr1016, I'll be living near just one son. The other lives in San Diego. I'd love to live there but there's a little thing called $$$$$$$$$. So I'll just visit him. Congratulations on buying your home! Quite the achievement. Getting totally unpacked and decorating should be nice distractions for you. Mama's boys are good!

HUGS!

Molly, I suspect that even though the years have flown by, the days didn't.

HUGS!

Thanks, Sloan. I know about missed opportunities (as do most of us)

HUGS!

Molly - Special thoughts for you and your son today.... ((Hugs))

HOW TO SLICK DOWN FRIZZY CHEMO HAIR

You'll need 1) foaming wrap lotion (I used Motions, but any kind is good), 2) something to wrap it tight and flat in like a bandana, foam tape, or wrap strips (I like Wrap It strips), 3) scarf or velcro wrap cap to hold it in place.

This is what my hair is like if I don't tame it:

...and the untamed back...

So, I'm washing with baby shampoo, conditioning with kerastase, and then wraping it to straighten it. You put 3-4 pumps of a foaming wrap lotion on clean conditioned hair. I used a foaming wrap lotion by Motions, but you can get some at any store in the multicultural hair products section. If you do have really dry hair, you might consider a leave in conditioner before the foam.

Here's the picture when I slicked down my hair with the foam. Actually, I put more on and got it really straight.

Flatten it so it's really straight. Seriously, you have to slick it down.

Next, I used wrap strips. You can get a box of them for $5 or you can use a bandana or velcro wrap. You have to wrap it REALLY flat and snug to get it to dry flat.

Then, I put a scarf on to hold it (or a velcro wrap cap or satin cap).

It takes my hair about 20 min to dry, so I go get dressed and put on eye make, whatever. Then, you remove the wraps and it's really slicked down.

It'll be too flat like this.

So, you'll need to fluff it a little.

It's so soft if I wrap it, but wiry if I don't!

I brush it with my finger tips to give it a little volume, add a little Crew pomade or BioSilk to make it shinny, add big earings. Done in 30 minutes.

Tah dah!

I can get ready faster than my husband with my short haircut!