Starting Chemo December 2015

Hi ladies, an ongoing sadness/depression. I can't seem to kick it. ugh. A heaviness. Not wanting to do anything.

newday123, I'm with you. I cried to my MO today, I cry when I get nice texts from people, I cry when someone asks me how I'm doing, I cry when I'm alone and pretty much whenever. I hang on to the fact that I think it's due to going through chemo and is only temporary. Like twirp said, there's good meds. I have 8 weeks to go so I'm holding out. Hang in there, and if you can't, ask for meds.

lyra10!! Bang the sad out! Love it. Can't say I feel at all like bangin, but my husband would love that cure😉 Maybe I should try some b6. I have been trying to get off my medicine for years. The bad part about them are they really do kill your sex drive. They really do work though.

Thanks Twirp26 and chinacat! Yeah, anyone doing/saying anything nice and I get all teary. Yes, I think I'll ask for help soon.

I forgot about the B6! Thanks Lyra10! and haha, thanks for the laugh.

The sadness eases up a bit by the afternoon, it seems, today anyways. Nice to get a reprieve. Must be related to energy levels, etc. Haven't had a good appetite either. Need to change my breakfast.

What do you gals have for breakfast?

Lyra thanks for the laugh, needed that

Sorry ladies for all the ups & downs. I think intermittent sadness and moodiness is unfortunately part of this nasty disease and our fight to kick cancer's butt. I agree, if it doesn't go away or gets worse, it's definitely worth asking about taking an antidepressant. On sad days, I find if I can somehow make myself get some fresh air and a little bit of exercise it helps. Sometimes it's just so hard to get up and do it though. Hoping for an "up"day for all of us today and for the week-end!!

Sammy3, I am also triple positive and do not have any of the breast cancer genes. I was able to have surgery before chemo and chose a single mastectomy. I didn't choose a lumpectomy because the thought of having radiation 5 days a week for 8 weeks was overwhelming, especially since it's about a 90 minute drive one way to my cancer center. Plus, without radiation I could do a same day mastectomy and reconstruction. Was even able to keep my nipple which was nice. I really debated about a BMX, but in the end chose a single since I don't have the gene, don't have dense or fibrous breast, and all my docs said that due to the above, my risks for developing a new breast cancer in the other breast are low. On a more trivial side (and maybe TMI), I also really like having sensation in my remaining breast . It's definitely a personal decision. You have to do what you feel is the right decision for you and one that you can feel comfortable with. Fortunately, they can do amazing work with plastic surgery now. My MX side looks different, but overall really good.

Thanks for the laugh Lyra! My husband will love it!

On a personal note though, are any of you suffering from serious dryness? Right now sex is pretty painful. And unfortunately the water based lubricants we've tried just seem to make my tissues burn. Coconut oil doesn't but we can't use it with the sadly necessary condons while on chemo. My MO recommended that I try a vaginal moisturizer for a few days and try again. Otherwise, he said it should get better within a couple of weeks after chemo and should be mostly back to normal by then. Glad for that encouragement and "light at the end of the tunnel"....but 5 weeks still seems like a LONG time to go! Ugh!! Thankfully my husband is very understanding and supportive, but it's hard on both of us.

For the "bottom issues", I've appreciated all the tips. Continual constipation can really make you sore! I have to agree with you Chinookmom, the squatty potty might sound silly, but it really does help on the bad constipation days. I've also found CALM (a powdered form of cit mag) at bedtime to make a really big difference too. It's worked better for me than senna or smooth move teas, etc.

Hoping you all have a great week-end, good numbers, no infections and minimal SE! Fight on friends! We've got this!

NewDay123 - I hear you on the energy levels. The lowered energy that comes from loss of appetite or anemia or some other problem could easily contribute to a sad mood. It's good that you are considering asking for help. If nothing else is working, medication might be key because the problem could be from a chemical imbalance. When I am having taste issues, I can somewhat tolerate a simple omelette for breakfast. I can't really handle sweet things like fruit, which I also used to eat for breakfast pre-diagnosis and miss. How much time do you have in between treatments? For me it is 3 weeks.

Karenbo - I agree about exercise (or anything that releases endorphins as Lyra10 suggests) helping on sad days. Usually during the weekend following treatment I fell well enough to do some exercise. Last weekend I couldn't because of the weather, and all that snow may have prolonged the sadness. As for surgery, it will also probably be a decision between a single and a double mastectomy. Everything seems to function as normal down there, but I probably didn't notice any changes last week. I feel like I'm ovulating right now and will be getting a visitor right after my next treatment. I have noticed that when I have some new SE pop up, it will be around temporarily and come back with each treatment. And with each treatment I get worried that this time the SE will stay until I'm finished with the last treatment.

When I was shut in last weekend because of the blizzard, I watched several movies. In one of them a character receives a cancer diagnosis. This was my first time watching a movie/TV show with a character going through something like this since receiving my own diagnosis. The movie ends with the character still undergoing treatment so you don't know the outcome. I don't want to give away the name of the movie and spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. I was thinking about all of the movies/TV shows I've watched in the past with a character dealing with cancer, and how it would be different to watch them now since I know what they are going through. I was a huge fan of Breaking Bad. It was nice when the only thing I had in common with Walter White was a love of chemistry.

I'm hoping the time will fly by for the remaining chemo treatments with upcoming events like the Super Bowl, Chinese New Year, Mardi Gras, Valentine's Day (I'm single so no romantic dinner for me where I can't stand the taste of food), return of the Walking Dead, President's Day, Leap Day, Daylight Saving Time, St Patrick's Day, start of March Madness, birthdays of family and friends. I'll be done with chemo before Easter and the return of Game of Thrones. Then I will have only Herceptin to deal with.

Just want to say I finally took both my wigs to my hairdresser today to get cut and styled and it was so worth it. They look so much better and wont drive me crazy as much. Only down side is I have some more big red bumps on my head so wearing the wigs won't be as comfortable.

so sick of the diarrhea!! I know this is tmi but I have shit my stretch pants twice!!! Two times too many!! I feel like I'm 90!!! SUUUUUUUCKS!!! But as Forest Gump says, " shit happens." Lmao 😳😳😳😳😬😬😬😬😬

puremalarkey, no not really. I was on antibiotics for them last time but not sure they actually helped. It took about a week last time to clear up using steroid cream and washing with baby shampoo.guess I will call dr for more antibiotics though because some are really hurting.

Sorry, all of you facing digestive problems, that really stinks, (no pun intended Twirp)

Redrock I love the pink! Mvdpaulding I my bumps flare the week after treatment then go back down again. I'm so sorry about all the diarrhea, mine is the opposite so I take stool softener in addition to prescribed laxative and I still have a hard time. I also am gaining weight! WTH! I guess I should be grateful for being able to eat. My exercise is chasing the 3 year old when I get home from work. I have had a cough for the last 2 weeks, doc gave me some pills to suppress it but doesn't help. No phlegm most of the time but comes hard

Just wondering if anyone suffering from diarrhea has been prescribed medication like Lomotil? Immodium works for me, so I haven't had to ask for something different. I'm concerned that I'm not going to fully bounce back from these SEs and develop IBS or some other condition.

Sammy3 - I think it's Perjeta that causes diarrhea and Herceptin that may cause heart problems, requiring an echo every 3 months. I'm going to ask about that at my next appointment since I'm also curious of what to expect while just receiving Herceptin.

Redrock and Birdie - your wigs look great!

redrock, I love the pink wig, looks great!

Birdie, I'm glad you found one you like and you should definitely wear it it looks great and very natural!

Picking up antibiotics today for my bumps. They hurt to sleep on last night. So just hats for me for a while I guess

Feeling a bit down like some of the rest of you. Missed out on a party for a friend of mine last night because Ijust didn't feel up to it.

Love your new wig Birdie! It looks very natural and beautiful on you.

Definitely go with the pink for your last day Redrock! Btw, one good thing I've found with Taxol is that if you tolerate it well the first several times, they can decrease the steroids. At least my MO decreased mine for me. It's worth discussing after a few sessions.

Sorry about the bumps mvspalding. Hope they go away soon. No bumps on my head, but starting to get a bit of "acne" again on my face. Isn't chemo lovely?! Actually, am thankful there are good treatments now....too bad they haven't figured out how to get rid of all the SE. Maybe someday!

On a bright note, I think I'm in chemo pause! :)Yippee!!!