MIght Have to Go To Surgery Alone

I'm so sorry you're having to do this on your own. But you can do it. I was thousands of miles away from any family when I was diagnosed and treated. So I know you can do this.

Be sure to talk with your surgery scheduler. They will tell you that you "have" to have someone to take you home, and stay with you that first night, Tell them that there isn't anyone. So they will have to help you come up with another plan. Mine did. And I have to believe that yours will too.

Hang in there,

LisaAlissa

I've always gone alone, just arrange for someone to pick me up when it is over. I suppose if I were having open heart surgery, I'd look at it differently, but for same-day and overnight procedures, it works out fine. The doctor knows who to call if anything goes wrong.

It sounds as though your mother is planning to be with you, so the issue is transportation. If your current schedule is too early for her to share the cab with you, you can either arrange for two cabs or maybe move your procedure to a later time. Also, I believe your hospital or the American Cancer Society can put you in touch with a volunteer driver. Probably a local church can do so as well.

Relatives sometimes just do not understand.

I wanted to give you hugs and aside from the great advice you already have gotten, please have everything ready at home for your recovery. You will have lifting restrictions and will need ice packs. Prepare some easy meals ahead of time. Put things low for easy reaching. I am glad you have the support of your mom.

Just adding to the great advice of others... Does your surgeon have a social worker on call? They might have some ideas for local community resources to help you, even folks who could volunteer to pick up groceries. Has anyone looked into visiting nurses, someone to check up on you in the first couple of days? Again, the social worker ought to be able to help set that up, and it's often (I even might suggest usually, but I'm truly not sure) covered by insurance.

A social worker also might be the sort of person who can help you vent these completely understandable feelings in a safe way. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope the surgery goes well. I'm glad your mom is there for you and hope your sister will be as well, if not on the day itself. Good luck!

You might want to contact your local American cancer society. They have a Road to Recovery program that has volunteers to drive cancer patients to and from appts. Your hospital social worker may have assistance resources also.

It is not that unusual to go alone. I think this is more about being hurt by your sister than about going to surgery alone.  Can your mother take a cab or Uber later on in the day? Or just stay home? You really should be fine, but it is hard when our siblings and other relatives let us down. Maybe your sister can't handle it-?

Ask after her husband: that is a great way to show support to him and your sister and, frankly, heap ashes on them at the same time!

I met with a social worker who gave me vouchers for a cab and had some other ideas. Reach out to staff at the hospital, and also to the organizations other mentioned above.

Good luck!