Waiting for biopsy results

Hello again! It's been a few months since I've been online - was taking a much-needed mental-health break from Cancerland to run more, celebrate my daughter's wedding, and prepare for the holidays. Had had really good follow-up visits, clean mamms, and was mentally preparing to move on with my life...

...and then I found a new lump, near my previous lx site. I'd had a lump a couple of years ago, ran frantically to the surgeon crying and hysterical, only to discover a complicated cyst. *whew!* Dodged that bullet - and resolved no more freaking out! So when I found this lump I figured I'd take a "wait and see" approach before running back to the surgeon to be chided for overreacting. But this lump was growing and felt really different, so I finally broke down and went to see him last Friday. He brought in another doctor to check it out, and they both recommended an ultrasound. Definitely not a cyst. Got a quick US at the hospital, tech was really great, took her time and let me watch. Whatever it was, was a mess - jagged, large, shadowing, dark, all the fun stuff we don't want to see in our breasts. She went out to check the results, and came back with the radiologist. He did a few passes, they chatted, then he left. Came back a few minutes later, said he was "very concerned". Had gone out to call my BS, who was in surgery so he tracked him down in the surgical suite to discuss. Says he needed a tissue sample "to confirm." Said he would write the report and fax it that weekend so the BS would have it first thing Monday. I outright asked for a Bi-rad rating - "4 or 5"? which I think threw him off his square, but he didn't hesitate to say "4c, but only because I just can't call it a slam dunk without a tissue sample."

First thing Monday morning my MOs office calls - they had the report in their hand (the radiologist actually wrote it and faxxed it late Friday evening). Wanted to schedule a "planning appointment". I said, Plan for what, I don't have a dx yet. "Just to get the scans on the books." Again - I don't have a dx yet, what are we planning? I told them I'd get back with them after the biopsy.

Had vacuum-assisted biopsy yesterday. Afterwards the MO's nurse navigator came to visit. I reiterated again that I don't have a dx so....why the visit? She said their concern level is "way up there".

So. There it is. No results until Monday - another long weekend. Not feeling confident, but also surprisingly not worried. Having been down this road before I kinda know what to expect so there's much less fear of the unknown. I don't really want to go through this again, and of course there's the concern about how far this may have spread...but I'll cross that bridge if I come to it.

Well crap.