Stage 3 and Delayed Reconstruction
In four months I'll reach my 3 year mark from dx--I didn't think I wanted reconstruction but the further out I get from this bc nightmare, the more I want to take back what was lost. I'm thinking that breast reconstruction may help me to have a healthy mindset for the future instead of the threat of bc holding me back (waiting for the other shoe to drop). I don't mean that breasts define me or I need them to make me feel "whole" again--what I mean is that making the decision to have reconstruction is a step of faith that I'm going to live. I hope this makes sense.
Stage 3er's would you share why you decided to have reconstruction?
Comments
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I do think that makes sense and I understand your thinking. I am 4 years out and I have had similar thoughts. However, because I have researched this previously, I don't see any way for me to have a reconstruction that would be even remotely OK to look at it, so I doubt I will ever go ahead. Also, it is not covered by insurance where I am, so it seems like a lot of money for an extremely dubious outcome (in my particular case). But if you are a good candidate for recon, then I completely understand why you would go ahead.
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Thanks, Momine. It's interesting how different regions will or will not cover reconstruction--I too understand what you're saying.
I'm a candidate for reconstruction and after much research, I'm leaning towards bi lateral SGAP. I'm getting less fearful of reconstruction as time passes but not sure on the timing yet.
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Here's another concern I have--I almost feel guilty for entertaining a surgery of this magnitude considering what my body has been through and how far it has come in healing. I guess I'm concerned about tipping the good in the wrong direction. Thoughts?
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Peacestrength, I wish you the best as you explore this option! Because I knew I wanted recon, my DIEP was delayed only as long as necessary, to let the effects of the radiation settle down. I had bilateral DIEP almost a year, exactly, after my unilateral mastectomy. It was a long surgery, with many surgical "touch-ups" afterward, but for me, it was totally worth it. I have something to put in a bra; no more hot, heavy prosthetics.
Without clothes, I look exactly like who I am--a woman who's been through battle and survived. There are long scars, and the skin on the radiated side is still a gradually fading red. But I love my figure. And I love the feel of my "breasts," warm, soft, and real.
Please PM me if you want to talk more. And good luck!
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Thanks for starting this topic. I too have been thinking about doing some "clean up" surgery on my chest. Nothing big just reshaping and smoothing the BMX scares. Have spoken to a surgeon and says it would be a day surgery. But, I just can't get past the trauma to my body again…even if its on a smaller scale. I am 4 1/2 years out and I fear "awakening" anything…maybe thats crazy! I would love to see if there are stats on that. Please don't let me bring fear to this topic, just my wondering if it would weaken my body and waken some problems? Cheering you on if you go for it!!
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Lucky to have a real choice, 3.5 years out, desperate to feel normal and still another 3 years to wait on an inhumane waiting list.............
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Lily, you're British, right? Seven years on a waiting list for recon? That seems pitiless, IMHO.
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I am british but living in Spain and it is pitiless, I had to battle for two years to even get them to recognise my right ro recon....and I really don,t know if it will succeed.....it feels an impossible dream
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I am 6 years out...and finally finishing up with reconstruction next week. I am confident its what I want now. Though in all honesty, I feel beautiful before surgery. I am hoping to feel like that part of the journey is behind me. It will be interesting to see nipples...it's been so long!!
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I had a bilateral DIEP reconstruction about 2-1/2 years after my original surgery. I have been very pleased with my results. My gynecologist comments on how good they look everytime I have a check up. Don't think that you can't get good results. Just research the plastic surgeon.
It's a hard operation to go through, and there are still twinges every now and again, but nothing that makes me regret it. As techtonicshift says, you should really want it. I did, and that's what got me through the recovery
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I'm glad for each of your responses. Sbelizabeth, I appreciate your offer and will pm you. hopefour, I have similar thoughts about surgery trauma potentially awakening bc--have you viewed the Torodal thread? I agree, TechtonicShift, having a solid mindset about really desiring reconstruction--this helps validate for me the further I'm out, the more I'm wanting reconstruction. Lily, I can see why you're frustrated--indeed pitiless. Gee wiz and Nancy, you sharing means so much--thank you.
Nancy, gee wiz and sbelizabeth, did you have any issues with your radiated side flap
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Peacestrength, because of the features of my particular BC--there was dermal lymphatic invasion--I had extensive rads, and they cooked the bejabers our of my chest and back. The DIEP included excising a lot of the damaged tissue from my chest. I did have some issues, although not with the original surgery, which was 100% successful. Because of the rads damage, I needed many minor tweaking surgeries, and I got cellulitis a couple of times. Some time in the hospital, IV antibiotics, and all healed ok.
My sister had her DIEP last July and she's doing beautifully. No issues with the radiated side.
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Also had Diep last December. My reasons were as follows, I found the prosthetic heavy, sweaty and uncomfortable. I could not wear what I wanted and was constantly adjusting, tugging and pulling the wretched thing. I wanted to look at my chest and see the familiar mound of skin. Having the Diep also has certainly gone some way to healing the psychological scars that bc brings.
I found the whole procedure straightforward and luckily I had no post op complications save for a few scary lumps that turned out to be keloids or fat necrosis. I am awaiting Stage 2, it can be very slow here in the UK in the wait for operations on the NHS, but I hope to get it this year reduction/uplift/nipple and lipo to shape the new breast. It's all good and I don't regret it one bit.
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Peacestrength, I had no post-surgical complications. Both my breasts were completely rebuilt from belly fat and skin. The breasts themselves have been completely numb except for the last few months when it seems like the nerves from the surrounding chest have decided to grow into the edges of the flaps. I don't know if you've ever had any areas where there was regeneration of nerves, but it's a strange sensation—sometimes tingling, sometimes burning. Time will tell how far they go into the flaps.
I sometimes have twinges on the radiated side, kind of on my ribs. And there's a movement I just cannot do without some pain like a nerve is pinched: reaching down to the left floor of my car to release the gas door. Ouch!
But they are not major enough to make me regret the surgery. At my age, my arthritis is more of an issue.
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Hi
Having surgery ( tissue expander) tomorrow for the same reasoning. Scary as it is for unilateral reconstruction after surgery rads chemo 4 years ago. Wish me luck. Thinking worth the risk just to begin again. Or perhaps I am simply bored. Certainly the emphasis on potential death thru cancer is now replaced with fears of cosmetic result.
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I haven't had any issues. Nips and areolas were completed from groin skin last week (AARGH) and stitches come out today hopefully.
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Thanks for sharing nancyd and wintersocks
damazon--hope everything went well with your surgery.
Geewiz--what type of reconstruction did you have?
How did you get past the fear of reconstruction surgery?
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I had an appointment with a PS lined up in January and have now cancelled it as I can't deal with the thought of the lengthy DIEP surgery and recovery. Unfortunately my BS thinks I should have a prophylactic mastectomy of "good" breast. Really uncertain what to do. The six monthly surveillance is also very stressful (MRI alternating with mammogram/US). These decisions are SO hard.
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Peacestrength I had implants after mx. I have had quite a few fatgraftings. Because I had rads, my PS felt strongly I would have a better outcome with a graft for the areolas and nips than just using local skin. There should be no visible scars and I figured I had come this far....
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Hi. I had a delayed tissue expander reconstruction on my cancerous side using some of my lat from my back to help out the fragile radiated tissue expand to my previous side. I also had a prophylactic mastectomy and recon on my non affected side. That was just a tissue expander. I had it done three years out my...almost five years ago and am so glad. I opted not to have nipples constructed as only my husband would see them tattoos instead. As a result at 60 wearing a bra is a personal choice. I decided to go for reconstruction because of my active lifestyle. It was not a highlight of my life when my prosthetic ended up on my yoga mat as I taught a mixed class of about forty individuals. The quickest scoop and stuff in Ontario. Cost wise it was converted by my health care. Swimming and scuba is better. I usually went as a unicorn one dd and one zero. Swim prosthetics are lighter but need to be rinsed after immersion i salt or chlorine and regular ones are not recommended for swimming. Granted they are not normal when naked but tbe scars all all but invisible now. No pain unless I don t do some stretches for about a month. Nothing onerous just simple twists and extensions. Love feeling whole even though the sexual component is gone as my nipples had to go due to the location of the tumor. The best thing I did for my morale.
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Janincanada...lol about the prosthesis on the yoga mat. Mine tumbled out from beneath my tank top during a vigorous walk on a hot day. I caught it just before it bounced down the sidewalk.
Yeah. DIEP recon was the best thing I ever did for my morale. After a year of treatments that saved my life but left me burned and scarred, the reconstruction was a sign of joy and hope for the future.
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janincanada, thanks for sharing with such detail. It helps somuch.
Sbelizabeth, sending you a pm soon.
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The surgery went well! Surgery on a Monday for a uni-tissue expander on mastectomy/radiated side. Woke up with 100 cc breast after four years. Happy! The single drain was removed that week Friday.
The following week and the day before Christmas Eve I decided to blow dry my hair for Xmas. I was feeling no pain. Not the best idea. As I have read on this site; just because you can does not mean you should.
A small seroma formed. My PS was not too concerned but told me I could reach him Saturday before the New Year if there was a change. Nice surgeon! (He was leaving for holiday the next week.).
Hoping all will work out. Either way I'm happy as I could live with one but prefer two breasts.
Thanks for asking.
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I decided to have reconstruction because I was 40 at diagnosis/mastectomy/treatment and these goods are still on the market
I'm now 41 and will hopefully be having my expander removed in March and my implant put in. I'm not excited for yet ANOTHER thing to recover from, but I'm very excited to have a breast that moves again!
I don't think it has anything to do with whether or not your breasts define you. It has to do with feeling whole again. I'm planning to get a mastectomy tattoo I think, once my reconstruction has healed. (assuming my lymphedema allows it) I used to want a nipple reconstruction, but as I've done more research, I've become less satisfied with the result of a perfect looking nipple. As I have one natural breast and one recon breast, I think that it would be forever a comparison between the two. One would be the real breast and one would always be the recon breast. If I decorate the recon breast and OWN it as not real, then I have a real breast and a COOL breast. I think it all ends up being about how you look at things, and taking the power back wherever you can, even subtly.
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Thank you all for your responses!
Anything else to add about your reconstruction experience?
I was trying on clothes in a store this week and broke down crying in the fitting room. I've been so focused on survival, that I've stuffed those normal body image feelings in the basement. Of course, I'm so thankful for my survival and I'm not bent on vanity...it's helping me to move towards reconstruction with less fear.
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I didn't have a trouble free DIEP but after 4 months everything was nicely healed. I hated the TE and then the PS decided that the skin there was too thin to use so ended up not using any of the stretched and fried skin anyway. This was after she tried hard to get me to go with an implant. I go in for my stage two next Thursday and swear that it better be good because this is the last one for me. I just want both breasts to be in the same hemisphere when I take my clothes off. I'm so tired of tight bras just to get them near to the same level. In the last 2 years I've had DIEP, two hip replacements, eye surgery and a broken knee cap last month. I'm so over constantly being in a state of recovery. Would I do all over again? Yes! Thinking abut a tattoo to finish things up but I only plan one step at a time.
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Peace: I waited two years for everything to settle down after a bilateral mastectomy. There were no DIEP trained surgeons in my area so had to look long and hard for a facility that would be covered by my insurance. Ended up at Mayo in MN with a highly trained PS. I had a meltdown while waiting to be put out for the surgery (12 hours long) and had to really think about what was about to happen. After all, there are no guarantees the surgery would turn out fine at the first attempt. Long story short, after two more "revisions" to get me evened out so to speak, I am one full cup size larger than the side /breast with cancer. All I wanted was to look okay in a bra and under more form fitting clothing. Last November, after contacting yet a different local PS, he looked at my DIEP breasts very confusedly and really didn't give me a confident answer that he could improve things.
What I will tell you is that, if you don't have a real great outcome right at the mastectomy phase, it makes it that much more challenging for the PS to do their best work. Feel free to PM for more details if you'd like. Everyone's body is different. I was just about as close to perfect symmetry with both breasts as one can be, prior to all this BC nightmare. But I demanded perfection and that was just too much to ask for. Where are you at now with your decision?
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To feel whole again is why I want reconstruction, I feel so damaged as I am, I don´t want any more surgery, I hate hospitals but I NEED to feel whole again...................and symmetrical even if not perfectly identical
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My experience is that reconstruction is difficult and at times overwhelming no matter how well the process is working out. It has been 3 months with tissue expander about to be overfilled (133SV to 330 cc) on April 1st. Exactly 5 years to the date of my uni-mastectomy. With the exception of a seroma and the discomfort of the last fill I am doing well. However, the process seems to me arduous and long. Am I glad I am reconstructing now and not initially. Yes, but I had had full on 3rd gen chemo, taxanes as well as full breast/chest/nodes radiation and that was too much already. I feel recon is just the other side of having cancer. Hopefully, a distant memory by the end of this year. I admire the strength of all the woman on these boards and their courage for each and every single experience the challenge of breast cancer has brought to them. Remarkable women.
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