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Pammac47
Pammac47 Member Posts: 128
edited January 2016 in High Risk for Breast Cancer

I join this morning with hopes of meeting a supportive place to address my concerns . Felt scared thought a normal feeling as I am 5- have a history of cancer on family as mom died of at 54. I have gone thru gammit of emotions know I have less than 20% chance of being cancer. Can't shake the fear I have a very large mass came on in no time not cystic as not round and fibroid unlikely . Yeah I'm a nurse!! Have found some disjointed souls on this forum and am left wondering why. Is it because they missed time to just have hope?? I don't know but I was scared thought this place to come and express all turbulous was going through. I had mammo and was told it was 5 cm guess that freaked me but knowing it was less than .59 8 mos ago freaked me worse. I guess I would ask you all to remember the initial reactions and cut us slack. Because we're new and scared. We don't have assumptions we are just scared. I certainly don't want to go this path... I respect what u have gone through but don't want to be there..

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited January 2016

    Of course you're scared. You don't know if you're faced with something totally benign or advanced cancer. Particularly since you've seen first hand what cancer does to a person/family. We all want to be prepared for what is ahead.

    I work in a hospital, and when I was getting diagnosed, every time a person came in with breast cancer I burst into tears, not knowing if that would be me. I thought I might have only months to live. I didn't know how unusual that is. Before I had my first biopsy attempt, I thought the only women who get breast cancer are those who ignore their breast lumps. (Which is totally wrong.) Since I didn't have any, I thought my docs were just silly. Then I found out more and was very, very scared.

    I sincerely apologize if I have been abrupt. Its totally normal for you to be scared because you don't know what are dealing with.

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  • Brutersmom
    Brutersmom Member Posts: 563
    edited January 2016

    Pammac47, I am sorry you are here. Of course you are scared and no one wants to go this path. I still wish I weren't here. I have no breast cancer in my family. The family members that had cancer were in there late 70's and 80's so I never expected that I would be given a diagnosis of CA. I never had a lump. An amorphous shape on a mammogram. Not seen on an ultrasound. You are in the hardest part right now. The not knowing and waiting for tests and test results is the worst. I did not even join until after my treatment plan was finalized I could not wrap my thinking around the diagnosis. What began to give me peace was getting a treatment plan from my primary Medical oncologist and breast surgeon and then getting a second opinion.

    This is the place to get support and information and yes it is some times a bit scary. Hopefully your biopsy will be negative and you will not be here for long.


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  • Ddw79
    Ddw79 Member Posts: 533
    edited January 2016

    Scared every day of my life now. Of course it's normal to be scared when bc darkens your door as it does for almost every single woman on this planet now it seems. If it's not us, it'ssomeone close to us

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited January 2016

    I'm so sorry you are going through this pain.

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  • Pammac47
    Pammac47 Member Posts: 128
    edited January 2016

    Thank you all for understanding. I've gotten so used to listening being in healthcare it's really nice to know others that just get it. Anyway I tried to go ahead and book the biopsy today and even though I have order for ultrasound guided core biopsy, they wantultrasound first. In bigger hospitals they sometimes do both same day. I'm not going to one of those, so they called my doctor for order asap and will try to get me in tomorrow. I will tell you I can't do biopsy until after Feb 1st, starting date of insurance coverage. While I could do out of pocket don't think its wise not knowing what's down the road. Again thank you for lending an ear

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited January 2016

    Let us know how it goes, OK?

    Know that even if you may be a wreck mentally by the time you get your final diagnosis, usually it doesn't make a difference clinically as far as treatment goes. Except with extremely aggressive cancers (like inflammatory breast cancer, which is rare, and you don't have the symptoms for), most women have had their breast cancer in their breast for an estimated 5-10 years (not a typo) before it can be detected by _any_ means, and even most women with invasive breast cancer can normally wait 1-3 months after diagnosis to decide things like whether they want to do chemotherapy.

    It took me 3 months to get through the entire diagnosis process; for some women here its taken 6 months (with a benign outcome.)

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  • Pammac47
    Pammac47 Member Posts: 128
    edited January 2016

    Leaf,

    Update Radiologist doesn'tike the look of so wants me to come in do Ultrasound Friday. At first was only told it was there were different samples needed. I'm determined to remain optimistic. It's still going to be biopsied, and I will take everything I've got to hospital. As I do have a seperate cancer coverage- hey been this road with other stuff and it runs in family. So if they really feel I need to move sooner I will, hoping for the best. My regular insurance kicks in Feb 1st so we'll see. I will keep posted-promise

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited January 2016

    I'm so glad that the Radiologist is trying to get you in earlier - for your mental health. I've read some posts here that some women have been diagnosed in as little as ?3-7 days, though I think that's pretty unusual.

    I wish I could say that being a patient changes all health care professionals' attitude for the better. (I have some colleagues who still try to do as little as possible even after having a serious diagnosis.) I guess some people just can't put themselves in other people's shoes. I can tell you that I certainly didn't understand how frightened a patient could be before I went through the process. It helps so much when your health care providers understand that. For me, it really helps to know I'm not alone.

    Hang in there. Best wishes!

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  • Pammac47
    Pammac47 Member Posts: 128
    edited January 2016

    Update #2

    They did ultrasound Radiiologist said he's seen hundreds of these he says its cancer it is 5cm and he wants me to do biopsy asap and putting me in for surgeon/onocologist consult. That's al

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