Starting Chemo March 2015

Ahhh, I need to do a better job of checking in here regularly because I just read the last 5 pages in a row and you guys have taken the words straight out of my head so many times. My cancerversary is coming up February 4th and I feel like maybe I will start a new tradition of a fancy dinner at our favorite restaurant to try to reclaim that day. Otherwise I'm going to view it with dread every year for the rest of my life. (However long that is, because in my heart I 100% believe this cancer will be back).

It's interesting how doctors are so different with the statistics and post-treatment protocol. Mine does nothing - no tests except mammos every 6 months - and has told me "I don't think you're going to have a recurrence." "Greater than 95% cure rate," etc. I have never believed him for a second. SIGH. It makes me wonder, though, what I would be hearing if my MO was somebody else.

My cancerversary is Wed. I don't have any particular feeling attached to it. First day on the job was today - jeez am I wiped out! 8 2 year olds who have never been in any type of school before each bringing with him/here a mommy who can't let go. Most of the parents stayed all day & watched. One spent the whole time complaining to us/admin/other moms about every little thing. Tomorrow will be better - now that we met everyone.

Leigh- I know it's not your "usual"..... But you are killing it ! Look great!

Hugs. Hope the gym goes great. Bet it is cooler!

xo

You look gorgeous, Leigh!

You look great, Leigh!

Saw my PS for a follow up today. He wants to do another surgery to 'tighten the skin envelope' and do some more fat grafting to get rid of all the rippling. We are going to wait until end of March and he will take out my port and reduce the ugliness of my port scar.

Then we just chatted for a few minutes about how there is a little separation anxiety after the active treatment phase is over. He assured me that it's normal but he was honest and said 'I can't really even imagine how you must be feeling'. It was nice for him to just listen and let me vent. He's not usually a big touchy-feely kind of dr (he is a surgeon after all) but he was just what I needed today.

Bekah

Mo, where are you going? I'm jealous--love the ocean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks ladies for the support! I went to the gym no problem.... that is really the place I feel most comfortable so I knew it would be ok... and of course it didn't faze anyone. Most didn't mention it and a few commented how great it looked. I like to go unnoticed and that is how I felt!! I will keep going there wigless... but that's it for now. We are going to Disney during Mardis Gras... Feb 7-13 and I am hoping to ditch the wig completely then. I will come back to work after that wigless..... hopefully!!

Leigh- that does look like an intentional pixie! I love it! I look like someone took a weed wacker to my head!

How long have you been taking it, Allison? I didn't notice anything at first but I'm definitely having mild hot flashes now. Every time I get up in the middle of the night I'm burning up when I come back to bed, which makes no sense as it's 63 degrees in my house in the winter. I started the Tamox in July. I'm also having achiness in my right hip that I'm trying to chalk up to the tamoxifen and not something more sinister.

I went to see my gynecologist today, who is outside the hospital system my MO is in, so she had no idea of my diagnosis. I was telling the nurse about it and she said, "oh, it's so good your treatment didn't cause you to lose your hair." I guess it does finally look like I did this to my hair on purpose! We have turned the corner, guys.

Karen...I was at my MO appt this morning and happened to pick up the handout on Arimidex. I just happened to be looking at the side effects and remembered seeing vaginal bleeding on the list. It was listed as a less common side effect. You're on Femara? I think??? which is similar to Arimidex. Perhaps what you're experiencing is a side effect?

PB

Molly: Only 12 days. I started on Jan 1.

Karen: I think it's too soon for any of us to have any new cancers. Am I foolishly naive?

We are going to Maui for a week. I cannot wait as it is -25 here with the wind chill . My PCP gave me prednisone for numbness and tingling in arm. If not improved in a week I get a neck MRI. To look for mets? I said. Among other things, she said. Fingers crossed for full recovery in a week! I have crazy hair with lots of colicks so it sticks up all over. Curly too but just on top. So weird. Stay warm all of you in the deep freeze!

Mo

Mo, probably more likely your PCP is looking for nerve compression but not necessarily from cancer. Lots of things can cause nerve compression in the neck - the most common being degenerative changes like bone spurs and narrowing of the holes where the nerves come out. But having a history of cancer of course that is on the 'possible' list too

Karen - I think you mean an orthopedist? LoL

Thanks Karen and Bekah. I am not too worried about mets but nice to have a doc who understands that my brain goes there first and probably will for a while. I think the prednisone is helping. Wish I could take NSAIDS but can't w bleeding risk. Maybe the pred will give me a week of less aches and pains from arimidex! A little energy burst to clean my house wouldn't hurt either. Thinking of you guys!

Mo