When it rains it pours

Jujubee16 {{hugs}} My heart hurts to hear about your sister passing and your recent diagnosis. Sending positive vibes, hugs, and prayers your way! This board is the best place to be.

jujubee - I wish you well. As has been said you will feel better with a plan in place and with time. Although everyone is different I felt mentally a bit calmer as soon as my surgery was complete. I too arranged things so I didn't miss much work and in hindsight maybe that wasn't the best for my mental health.

I didn't tell my mom about me until a week after my surgery. I grappled with waiting so long but decided to do it that way as she had been going through so much already and wasn't handling what she already had on her plate all that well. You'll know best when and how.

You also may want to talk to your neice about what is happening to you once you have a plan in place. I told my 2 and 5 year olds (at the time) that I had an "ouchy that had to get cut off by the doctor or it would make me sick". Both accepted that without any problem. A few months later I told my now 6 year old that it was cancer after he pestered me about why I was going to see the doctor again and again.

Good-luck!

jujubee, hugs for you, condolences on the loss of your sister, and prayers that your results will be as favorable and treatment will be as quick and tolerable as possible.

Were my parents still alive, I would wait to tell them until I knew the facts and a plan was in place. My son is an adult, and both he and my husband (a doctor himself) knew I had had an anomalous mammo, ambiguous ultrasound, and impending biopsy. I told my sister the night I was diagnosed only because she called me to say hi and sensed from the tone of my voice that something was amiss (we’d never been able to hide things from each other, despite the fact we live 800 mi. apart). Perhaps a counselor may be able to tell you when, how and how much to tell your niece. I know how much harder it is to face this in your 30s than in your 60s when your kids are grown and most if not all of your career is behind you. Know that we are all in your pocket.