Starting Chemo March 2015

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    Hoping we can have a mini Chicago get together. It would be fun to see a lot of you

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  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited December 2015

    Love all the pics! I've been reading when I can but have been basking in the joy of Mama-hood. Shana comes back today through Tues AM, Kelli is here through the 2nd. Alan decided to splurge & have the 3 of us fly up to SF to spend New Years Eve with Shana. We took many photos - still want to get my holiday card put together.

    xo


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  • Italychick
    Italychick Member Posts: 2,343
    edited December 2015

    oh my, sounds like so much fun. Have a great time!

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    That sounds wonderful, Eileen!

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  • IndyGal35
    IndyGal35 Member Posts: 340
    edited December 2015

    I love all of the furbaby pics!

    YES to a Chicago meetup! That'd be wonderful!

    We spent the holiday with DH's brother in Maryland. My MIL got her 3 sons and almost all of her grandkids under the same roof for Christmas. I never know how visits with his family will go, but we had a nice time overall. We are waiting at DCA right now and flying home tonightthrough Atlanta. Anyone else flying today?

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    We hosted, so no travel for us. Safe journeys!

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I've just made a small donation to BCO to celebrate knowing you March and April 2015 women! Thanks for being in my life!

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  • DavisD
    DavisD Member Posts: 338
    edited December 2015

    I've not been on the thread for quite awhile but wanted to pop in and wish you all a wonderful holiday season. Many of you were life savers to me when I struggled with a number of issues. I thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

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  • Carrie37
    Carrie37 Member Posts: 331
    edited December 2015

    I've been offthe board for awhile too...but around our FB page. 😊 This is a hard thread to keep up with! I think of you all a lot. I would love a Chicago area meetup! I am in IL so I am up for whenever, wherever, whatever...lol. I tried to read through what I have missed but can't remember everything. Just know that you all have a special place in my thoughts daily. I'm surviving the holidays. We are going to Disney World in January. My son is playing in a soccer tournament there so we made it a mini vacation even though I have no paid time off work. I thought being on winter break from work I would feel emotionally better. Physical stuff seems to be coming back but sometimes I feel like I'm riding a horrible emotional roller coaster. Could it be the tamoxifen? I am starting to think yes. Thinking of stopping it and seeing if I improve. I can't tell my family that as I don't think they'll understand. I can't take this emotional crap. I already struggle with depression. Ugh. Also, just that feeling of impending doom. Annoying.

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    Oh, Carrie, I am sorry. I have read that things sometimes improve after being on it for a while. I don't know. I am kind of scared to start it.

    Lee: Did you make it home ok? I am guessing they will be canceling Chicago flights today. It is really windy and snowing here.

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    Carrie - the Tamoxifen made me moody and emotional for about 10 days. After that my mood improved but then I started getting bone and joint pain from it. I know what you mean about your family not understanding you maybe wanting to stop it. I sort of threw that idea out to my DH and he looked stunned and then said 'that would have to be 100% your call' as he shook his head and left the room.

    I really have to look at my quality of life and put some serious thought into continued use (or discontinuation) of Tamox

    Bekah

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    It is a very tough call about the Tamoxifen. My MO took me off about 3 weeks ago, mostly due to the rapid increase of liver enzymes, timed exactly to when I started taking it, I also got extremely depressed, but you all know I struggle with that anyway, so it's always hard to tell. This seemed exceptionally bad and tied to the Tamox. My joint pain SE did go away on its own, but not these other SEs. So I have now been depressed and worrying about why I even care, since the QOL these days has been so bad. The incessant rains and the holidays, which I don't love, also contributed to these feelings of insurmountable lows.

    I would say the depression at times has lifted a bit. In another week or so they'll test my liver enzymes again. Any improvement in worries have been quickly replaced by concern about being unprotected via endocrine therapy currently, and wondering how much I even care. It's been a dark place.

    I'm hoping improved weather, getting past the holidays, getting these tests done, including the delayed bone scan, and the second cataract surgery, will all help to stabilize me. If I have to go onto an AI, that would be good, so long as I can tolerate it. If not, some very tough decisions will have to be made.

    I've been quiet, for all of the above reasons, but want all of you to know that I am always here, reading, and sending out good thoughts and love. I just feel very false when I try to fake it, and try to wait until I have something with a glimmer of hope in it.

    Wishing you all a good week. There is a rumor of a stretch of sun coming in a couple of days, and I have planned to make a jaunt to the beach to hear and smell the waves, and watch Jack run with his customary abandon.

    Hugs to all.

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  • BBwithBC45
    BBwithBC45 Member Posts: 727
    edited December 2015

    Katy, please don't ever fake it. Always tell it like it is, no matter how low you feel. That's why we are here, aren't we?

    I'm not loving Christmas time either and that's an understatement. It always has been and continues to be the time of great stress for me, I dread it starting in November already. Few more days and we'll have the brand new year ahead of us, with its own challenges and hopefully some joys.

    Hug Jack for me. OK, Tutti too. (I'm more of a dog person ).

    Lots of hugs from snowy/icy/windy Chicagoland.

    BB



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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    I love you Katy. I'm sorry you're suffering and especially in silence. I have my ups and downs...I think we all do. Once the holidays are over and you get some sun, things should improve!

    FWIW I've come to hate Tamoxifen so far and I actually envy you for not being able to take it. I know that's weird but I just can't stand the stuff. Hopefully it will get better...

    Bekah

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    BB and Bekah- you are both so special. You lift me up. Love you guys too. 💞💞

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    I think combined with the gloomy weather, it might be a harder time of year to start Tamoxifen.

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  • pboi
    pboi Member Posts: 663
    edited December 2015

    The holidays have been hard for me this year emotionally. Im hoping the end of the holidays and the new year will bring a fresh start for me and all of you. In the meantime, I'm trying to get by one day at a time. I have ups and downs. I feel like I have a lot of depression and mood issues..not sure who to blame...menopause, Arimidex, stress...all of the above. Thank you all for sharing...I don't feel so alone feeling like this

    Katy...don't suffer alone and in silence. We are here for you. Hoping the sunshine comes soon in Oregon. Hugs!

    PB

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    By the way, it IS bad out. I had to take my daughter to the orthodontist. Glad to be back home and out of it.

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  • Carrie37
    Carrie37 Member Posts: 331
    edited December 2015

    Katy, I'm sorry you are struggling. I wish I could cheer you up and make it all better. We all deserve happiness and I suspect it will come with time and SE's fading. I like the food involved with the holidays and that's about it. We always hang with friends for New Year's Eve and don't feel like it already. Party pooper for sure. That's not new for me though. I'm pretty introverted and like being alone. I see my psychiatrist this week so I plan to talk to her too.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I wish I were closer, Katy.

    You might want to look into milk thistle. My wife had really high ALT and AST when her Hep C was first diahnosed. With her gastro's permission, she started taking milk thistle and knocked her numbers way down before treatment even started. Gastro's feeling was "couldn't hurt and might help." She still takes it every day (and has undetectable viral load and great liver numbers.)

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  • TerryMarie
    TerryMarie Member Posts: 77
    edited December 2015

    Hi all, it's been ages since I've posted. I'm doing pretty well, finally getting good hair growth and my nails are looking better although still weak, I'd like to get false nails from a local place I trust but I'm not sure that's smart to do yet or not. I have about 3 sessions of herceptin left and a mammo in Feb, I'm dreading it, not the actual test but the results. This christmas was way better for me than last yr. Last yr i had the lumpectomy on Dec 2 and all throughout the holidays I was terrified and still in disbelief. Now I have a better outlook, I have fear and all that but I made it through chemo and radiation and here I am, feeling pretty much back to normal. I still have some SE's such as my vision isnt back to what it was and my eyes are very dry, I get tired easily and either the Herceptin or the Anastrozole is playing havoc with my bones and joints. I hope everyone is doing well and had a good holiday. I need to see the ass end of 2015, worst yr of my life to date ...funny tho I have to say that this health stuff has made me see how awesome my mother and kids and friends are, they really stepped up, seems to take something like this to notice. Happy new year to you all.

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  • DavisD
    DavisD Member Posts: 338
    edited January 2016

    I started Arimidex two days ago. I haven't posted much about how I've been feeling...I actually feel a bit manic half the time, unable to sit and relax. The rest of the time I am overly sensitive to things my husband says, how awful the yard looks, how my boss is evil and I have to coddle her...on and on. I like feeling manic better :) I'm hoping the Arimidex doesn't contribute to my mood issues. I'm sorry for you ladies experiencing depression but it does help me to know I'm not alone.

    My right eye still tears throughout the day, especially when I walk outdoors. Its embarrassing and I constantly have to find a tissue to blot my eye. Is anyone else having this issue? The opth doc thinks it's a result of the sjogren's but it started after the taxotere.

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  • TerryMarie
    TerryMarie Member Posts: 77
    edited December 2015

    I'd say its the taxotere, my right eye bugs me every day, also both get blurry and very dry. I haven't been to the optometrist yet because I was waiting to see if my eyesight improved on its own and it has somewhat.

    I'm not experiencing depression, just fear in low moments but it goes away and I try to feel hopeful.

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  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 792
    edited December 2015

    Any fat grafting ladies wanna chime in? When my TE was placed we did some grafting and once it all stopped hurting I was good to go. This time w the exchange they did a lot more grafting. Today I started getting a lot of new discomfort all through my abdomen. I felt weird lumpy lumps. I had Kelli (med school daughter) check it out. She first said - wth and then googled and found that once all the lipo swelling goes down there can be this. Then you need to massage 2xs daily to break up these "small collections of fluid". It can take months to go away. Anyone have this going on? It's really uncomfortable. :(

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    Sorry but I didn't experience that. Makes sense though depending on how much fat they took out

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  • shaz101
    shaz101 Member Posts: 718
    edited December 2015

    merry post Christmas! !! And a big hello to those who have been missing. I'm glad you've popped in. So nice to hear from you. Posit or negative we are all in this together.

    I Skyped katy today. We had a lovely debrief. She can feel everyone's love and concern. can we all sent a combined group hug to her. I'm suRE katy would appreciate it xxx

    Here's Bowie and my mums dog millie playing tug of war.

    Bowie

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  • IndyGal35
    IndyGal35 Member Posts: 340
    edited December 2015

    Our connections were tight, but everything was surprisingly on time! We made it home safe and sound.

    Eileen, I definitely have some fat knots in my belly now. I'm still a bit swollen, and I've been massaging as well. I'm not actively hurting in the belly, but it's sore (like a hard ab workout) when I massage. The PS said to ignore the scale for another week due to fluid retention from swelling. She also said that liposuction of any kind takes about 6-12 months to show final appearance. Hope that helps!

    Bekah, any news on your MIL's biopsy yet?


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  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited December 2015

    e - massage the lumps aggressively daily, this is a common post-FG happening.  They should resolve with time, but be consistent with the massage.

    The holidays often seem to be a time that is fraught with emotions, frustrations, and missing those with whom we celebrated in the past - I'm with you on that as my parents and only sibling are gone. I think the end of the year naturally causes an internal review of how things went over the past year and 2015 sucked for all of you!  I am sorry that any of you have sadness and worry, but take it one day at a time.  Hoping brighter days are ahead for all!

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    Eileen: I was going to say maybe go to one of the DIEP threads and get more thoughts on fat grafting.

    K: I was thinking about you the other day wondering how you were doing. I hope your holidays were good and your recovery is going well.

    I guess you never get over missing the loved ones in your family. For me it is my dad and my grandparents.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I've been missing my grandmother recently, perhaps because with sudden menopause, I'm starting to look more like her (she was in her late 50s when I was born).

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