Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited December 2015

    Spilt Bean, love your name....

    image

    I have been a atheist, agnostic, since childhood. With the horrific shit that is happening in the world right now, makes me even more committed to my beliefs, understanding. I live in a ultra conservative, religious community, but I truely believe, live & let live. No judgement. Let's face it, that's hard on both sides of the fence.

    Xmas is long, my hubby is a half assed Catholic, but I love the lights......lol....

  • fizzdon52
    fizzdon52 Member Posts: 568
    edited December 2015

    Holeinone, you are not alone, I am a very proud Athiest too :) Should you feel like it there is a Facebook group you could join, for Breast Cancer people who don't believe in God. You could join "Breast Cancer Atheist Support Group" I don't know how to post a link but if you have Facebook it is easy to find :)

  • Hernie
    Hernie Member Posts: 1,016
    edited December 2015

    Umm, maybe I should do this properly...

    Hi, my name is Split, and I love spaghetti. I have welcomed spaghetti into my body since I was a student and had to cook for myself. Now, I gather with my family to celebrate its tasty nutritionness.

    However, I must confess -- no offence to my enlightened brothers and sisters of the FSM -- I also love soup and chili, not to mention delicious fruits of all kinds. I think it is not important WHICH food you eat, but that it is nutritious and tasty. Sadly, there are many people who are not well nourished. Some are innocent victims of poverty, some have lost their way and make bad dietary choices. I don't judge -- I just make more spaghetti and eat it on their behalf. (That helps them, doesn't it????)

    image

  • Creativevintage
    Creativevintage Member Posts: 76
    edited December 2015

    I am so glad I found this group. I too am an atheist, living in the Southern bible belt...it is not easy. I don't celebrate Christmas, but my coworkers who are all mostly christian insist on making me a part of all the goings on. I have reminded them that I am not Christian, but otherwise have been relatively quiet about it, but when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, you would not believe some of the things people said to me.

    I had one woman tell me that God gave me breast cancer as a punishment for not believing in Jesus. I asked her if God punishes all the Jewish and Muslims like that because they don't believe in Jesus either and she told me yes. She also told me the only way that I would be able to survive this would be to accept christian beliefs. Oh my goodness. Another women told me that God let this happen for a reason and that it would make me a stronger, more religious person for having gone through it, and that it would change me for the better.

    I do wish they would just keep their opinions to themselves. I have been coping and dealing with this just fine and it has not changed me as a person. I am still me!


  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited December 2015

    Creativevintage, Glad you found us. OMG, does she believe Christians never get diseases? I guess you can't choose who you work with, but geez. I've lived in the bible belt myself and feel very happy not to be there anymore.

  • solfeo
    solfeo Member Posts: 838
    edited December 2015

    I had a biopsy a few years ago. A friend of mine told me she would pray for me, and even though I don't personally pray I usually appreciate the sentiment, so I think there is no harm in saying thank you for the effort since believers usually mean well. Then when the biopsy results came back negative, she sent me an email, "See, prayer works!" That was not appreciated at all and left me annoyed. Did she seriously think it was malignant until she prayed? Apparently so.

    The irony is that I most likely did have my cancer at that time in the opposite breast, that hadn't been discovered yet because it never showed up in mammograms. I guess she didn't pray hard enough or wide enough. I haven't mentioned my diagnosis to her. I would have to say, "No thank you, please keep your failing prayers to yourself!" LOL

  • greentara9
    greentara9 Member Posts: 2
    edited December 2015

    Just saying hi - and nice to see activity here again.....from the olden days of 2009, 2010. I am suddenly showing up as Green Tara. NO! I am Flannelette. Somehow technology went wrong here & I had to make a new password and came back as Green Tara. About to try to change that...

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 2,755
    edited December 2015

    Welcome back Flannelette.

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited December 2015

    Yes Flannelette. Long time no see. Glad you posted.

  • Hernie
    Hernie Member Posts: 1,016
    edited December 2015
  • BookWoman
    BookWoman Member Posts: 104
    edited December 2015

    It seems to me that many christians are covered for any contingency--if they pray and the outcome is good then "God heard our prayers" on the other hand if the outcome is not so good then "God works in mysterious way" or " god never gives you more than you can handle" or if someone dies then it is "God so loved him/her that he wanted him/her in heaven".

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited December 2015

    My mother died when I was 4yo and they told me the 'God wanted her in heaven' version. Then in Sunday school, when they talked about God's love, I thought 'he sure has a funny way of showing it'. None of it ever made sense to me.

    Split-bean, Love the poster!

  • Smurfette26
    Smurfette26 Member Posts: 730
    edited December 2015

    Split-bean that's priceless. Love it ThumbsUp

  • memba
    memba Member Posts: 20
    edited December 2015

    Hey All, I'm posting again due to a desire to vent plus a bit of insomnia due to crashing (after chemo #3 yesterday) for 8 hours from 5 pm.

    So, during my chemo yesterday my nurse replied to a comment I made that I should try positive thinking. It "helps" according to her. Fine, I just smiled and let her say whatever. I didn't debate her or said anything to reinforce her opinion. But I'm curious if any of you in this discussion group agrees with the positive thinking concept and if that really helps. To me, positive thinking has a supernatural quality that I associate with visualization. And visualization techniques are an unreliable form of treatment. However, I know not all atheist/faithless/godless people think the same way.

    I try to be optimistic about my future, but I'm also realistic. I thought it was highly unlikely that I was going to reach an older age without any chronic medical conditions. But I, with a new found love of living to the fullest (embracing the good, bad, ugly and boring), I'll move on with whatever is left of my life thanks to many things available now. One of them being me living in the age of information and advanced scientific/medical technologies.

    Because of that, I've become more curious and hungry for knowledge. Information and knowledge is what has led me to my current worldview of secular humanism. It's also motivating me to do much more. And I find that it gives me a break from thinking of all the possible complications this cancer diagnosis may have for me.

    Happy Winter Solstice and Merry Mythmas!

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited December 2015

    I'm not sure that it really helps with the disease,, but I find it helps my mental state if I try to focus on positive things instead of letting my mind go to the deep dark places. I have 2 friends who really believe you can visualize what you want, and things seem to work out for them. (not health issues, other things)

    One thing my friend taught me is to not say "not". Instead of saying "I will not have nausea with this chemo". You should say, " my stomach is settled and happy". Put it in a positive spin,, because "otherwise, the universe hears everything except the not and you will get what you don't want". (according to my friend) So the universe would hear "I will have nausea with this chemo".

    You don't have to buy into this, but I'm just throwing it out there. I had a cyst in my neck that was very close to my spinal cord and the surgeon said if he had to remove it, he'd have to fuse my spine. I really didn't want that! So I visualized "the cyst is smaller". And my recent MRI showed that it was gone! Now I don't believe that my thoughts made it go away, but hey,,,, it didn't hurt.


    Happy Solstice and Happy Festivus!

  • scrunchthecat
    scrunchthecat Member Posts: 269
    edited December 2015

    I don't think that "positive thinking" is a magical cure, but I do believe that depression can probably make things harder and worse. So I support the positive thinking line. I'm not so much into visualizations as appreciations. I get up in the morning and do a 30-minute walk/run. I make sure to appreciate the cats, the plants and my friends.

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited December 2015

    Some recent research showed that positive thinking didn't influence outcomes. I do agree that paying attention to the good things we have leads to more happiness with what is. My book club read a book about women in Afghanistan and I woke up every morning for months being grateful I was not born there.

  • fizzdon52
    fizzdon52 Member Posts: 568
    edited December 2015

    There is always someone worse off, that's what I say. I don't have the most fantastic life, but it's the only one I've got and I am sure as hell trying to make the best of it. I am grateful every day for my amazing kids, that helps. I smile at everyone and try and be positive and make people happy, this attitude helps me amazingly. Peace to all :)

  • solfeo
    solfeo Member Posts: 838
    edited December 2015

    Chronic stress leads to inflammation, which may not cause cancer, but does create an environment in the body that is more favorable to cancer growth. One measure of inflammation is C-Reactive Protein level, and there have been studies done that suggest women with higher CRP levels at diagnosis have worse outcomes. CRP has also been linked to stress and depression. Mine was in the high 3rd (highest risk group) looked at in the following study, so you better believe I'm doing everything I can to reduce my stress and inflammation levels. Some of that is tangible, like improving my diet and exercising more, but a big part of it is attitude adjustment.

    High C-Reactive Protein Levels May Influence Prognosis

    There are times when we can't remove ourselves from stressful situations, but we do have some control over how we feel about and react to them. I don't see this mind/body connection as supernatural in any way, shape or form. Our bodies have real physical reactions to stress and release stress hormones in response. I do non-spiritual guided meditations to help me stay focused on the positive and it works for me. Even with the cancer I'm not as stressed out as I used to be, and CRP has come down as a result of not only the visualizations, but everything I have been doing to reduce stress and inflammation. I believe the mind does matter and there is no woo about it.

  • Smurfette26
    Smurfette26 Member Posts: 730
    edited December 2015

    I'm not into visualisation or affirmations but I am almost always positive and upbeat. I grew up with a Mother who was mostly down and never found much joy in life. I thought that was a sad, wasted life and vowed to never be like that. Of course I have the odd down, teary or angry moments, especially since my diagnosis. We all go to a "dark" place occasionally but I don't dwell there. What would be the point? What would it achieve? It would only rob me of the joy of today. Every day may not be a good day but there is something good in every day. So yes I believe in the power of positivity.

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited December 2015

    I've seen that and all my jobs when working were stressful. Can't go back tho.

  • solfeo
    solfeo Member Posts: 838
    edited December 2015

    There is a thread floating around here somewhere by some ladies with Stage IV discussing possible contributing factors. A lot of them said they were going through periods of heavy stress when they recurred. It's good to know that stress reduction is important, but we don't want to feel so much pressure to eliminate stressful situations that we cause more stress for ourselves, because that's not always in our control. As I said, I think that's where the positive thinking comes in. You don't even have to call it positive thinking if that term feels too faith-based to you. Think of it as improving your coping skills so stress doesn't get to you as easily, which anyone would benefit from.

  • fizzdon52
    fizzdon52 Member Posts: 568
    edited December 2015

    If anyone knows how to turn off my stress button can they please tell me? I am trying my best but if you are an anxious person, it's not something you can turn off and having had breast cancer certainly doesn't help matters!!! I find drinking wine and having fun with my friends helps, but then I worry that wine will cause more breast cancer. You just can't seem to win!

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited December 2015

    I think that moderate drinking of wine would not be that much of a risk factor. I'm sure someone could find a study somewhere that says it does,,, but I bet you can find a study saying carrots cause BC too. I vote for laughter and some good merlot.

  • solfeo
    solfeo Member Posts: 838
    edited December 2015

    Wine was my old way of coping and I miss it. My concern is that I read that drinking can reduce the effectiveness of tamoxifen so I don't want to take the chance. I do have a couple of glasses every now and then but I don't want to interfere with the tamoxifen metabolism on a regular basis.

  • solfeo
    solfeo Member Posts: 838
    edited December 2015

    The meditation helps me, but I'm terrible at the quiet mind thing so I have to do guided meditations where I can focus on someone else's calming words, since trying to blank out my mind is futile. I've tried a bunch of them and I have found the recordings by Glenn Harrold to be the most effective. He has an awesome soothing voice, but it's also the quality of the recordings that stands out from the others. You listen with headphones and the sound kind of echoes from ear to ear, which makes you feel surrounded and like floating into the abyss. He has CDs, MP3s and apps for iPhone and Android, and offers some free sample apps so you can try before you buy. The paid ones are reasonably priced, around $5 for Android.

  • memba
    memba Member Posts: 20
    edited December 2015

    Positive thinking, laughter, healthier eating, wine, cannabis, etc., all good I suppose. But I'll keep in mind that those could work as complimentary therapies and not cures.

    I also want to tell y'all of a really cool blogger I follow, had a very interesting (or satirical) view on how people get cancer. Made me think... and I read this before I was diagnosed this year nontheless. Check it out:


    https://wisesloth.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/wise...

    scroll to the bottom of page 278

    His online blog has that particular title removed. Maybe he considered it to be cruel or didn't want anyone to become paranoid.

  • SoCalLisa
    SoCalLisa Member Posts: 13,961
    edited December 2015

    so good to see some new faces here. Flanelette, hi there Wren too.. I just have considered myself as a non-theist. I have no desire to spread the word. One thing that I did during active treatment was to try to get some relief from worrying. I set up one chair designated as my "worry chair " I I started to worry about something, I had to sit in that chair and do it. Somehow that worked for me. I also had a stress reduction routine. If I could feel the stress building, I would take a very deep breath while silently and slowly counting to 10. I would hold that breath for a slow count of ten and then slowly let it out again counting to 10, but backwards. I would do this 3 times. I could feel my body relaxing.

    This works for me still and it has been 15 years.

    And a smile can work wonders.


  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited December 2015

    I like the worry chair!! Excellent idea!!

  • SoCalLisa
    SoCalLisa Member Posts: 13,961
    edited December 2015

    I forgot to mention that you do the breathing exercise every time you feel the stress. Do this for 3 weeks and it becomes a conditioned response.

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