Feeling like a woman again...

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agsuitt
agsuitt Member Posts: 20
edited December 2015 in Sex & Relationship Matters

Hi all. I'm having a really hard time right now. Now that my treatments and surgeries are done, I look in the mirror and simply see "less". I don't know how to get past it. The loss of hair, the loss of a breast - I'm just not understanding how to feel like a whole woman. Not for myself nor my husband. He is very supportive and encouraging, but I honestly feel ugly. Any tips on how to break myself out of this mindset? Thanks.

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  • Free123
    Free123 Member Posts: 84
    edited September 2015

    agsuitt, I think we can all relate to how you are feeling! If that is you in the profile pic-goodness you're a knockout!! Just gorgeous!

    But, it does all boil down to how we feel about ourselves and this is such a challenging time to feel beautiful. Honestly, I've found that having a glass of wine or two really relaxes me and helps me to be able to get in the mood- it's so strange bc I feel sorry for myself but I feel so bad for my husband also! I've noticed things are better when I try not to go on and on about how bad I feel about myself and just block it all out and try to enjoy. I think it gets kinda old for them having to constantly reassure us!! So I want to relieve him of having to do that constantly.

    I read some of your other posts and noticed that your faith in God has sustained you, as has mine. I have tried to treat this "adventure" as I do so many other things in life that threaten to undo me- and that is to constantly realign my thoughts and attitudes and try not to dwell on what bogs me down or brings others down. Everyone around me seems to function better when I am positive so I just pray and keep moving!! It's a full time job at this point! But I guess it's supposed to be, right?! So, yeah, that and a glass of wine! Also, I'm all about an excuse to try a new beauty product to make me feel better. And many times the less expensive ones do a better job- maybe a half hour stroll in the Walgreens beauty department wouldn't hurt. It sure helps me!

    Hugs and Blessings! Freeland

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  • agsuitt
    agsuitt Member Posts: 20
    edited December 2015

    Thanks Free123. You articulated exactly what I go through almost every night as I get ready for bed. And I can imagine it does get old for my husband to constantly have to boost me up when I am downing myself.

    Prayer and a couple of glasses of wine sound lovely! I'll definitely have to try that. And thanks for the compliment on the picture. That was me right before I started chemo.

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    I can relate. Sometimes I just feel ugly. Having a solid faith in God and a good husband has saved me from a lot of anxiety (although there has still been plenty). My DH will write an update on my Caring Bridge blog and when he describes me as beautiful, strong, and still having a 'spirit-filled sparkle' in my eye...it sort of melts away most of the negativity.

    Sometimes I cry and he just holds me. I don't know what I would do without that kind of love. But sometimes it's just not enough and I sink into a hole. I think it's totally normal to feel this way and go through this but I have to believe it gets better.

    Bekah

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