Just diagnosed on Dec 10th

I just wanted the consultation to be over. Make a list of questions. My mom came with my husband and me and I made her take notes. It let her be involved, but kept her busy. It also let me focus on what the surgeon was telling me. And having my husband take notes wouldn't have worked. He is not the note-taking type.

My heart goes out to you. I was in your place 5 years ago today. My son was only 4 years old. I cried all the time. I know how scary this is....believe me. The beginning is the hardest part. I never thought about what life would be like 5 years later and here I am. Take it one step at a time. I truly understand your fear.....saying a prayer for you! Hugs!

I'm sorry you have to join us breezy, but it will get better I promise. I was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago and I was petrified. I was a mess. I was crying all the time and making everyone miserable. I ended up going on lexapro (still on) and my MO gave me Ativan. I no longer use the Ativan, but still take the lexapro. Once I got more info and a treatment plan I started to calm down. I am completely back to normal now - ok well I see my MO on Tuesday and hopefully after that visit I will still be normal lol. Hang in there. The diagnosis is so devastating, but like I said it will get better. Hugs

Nancy

Hi Breezy. Welcome to the Sisterhood, although I can honestly say I wish you didn't have to be here. I was in your place last March. There I was, a wife with nine (yes, 9) children. When they gave me the news, I couldn't imagine HOW to tell my family (I got my news over the phone).

My husband lost his first wife to this horrible disease. So I had to tell him and my stepkids that they had to go through this again. Not to mention my two biological children and the rest of my family.

On my first consultation with the surgeon, medical oncologist, and radiation oncologist (they were all in the same day), I had TWELVE people with me. That was my first clue that I would not be fighting alone.

It's scary. And it sucks. But you CAN get through it. These ladies here are amazing. Just reading some of the posts has helped me so much during my fight.We support each other because we are all in this together.

Good luck and I'll be praying for you.

So sorry you have to join us here...

I was just diagnosed last spring. I have two elementary age children, and I'm only 39. I wasn't expecting this at all.

It's hard. Especially at first when you don't know anything. But like others have said, it helps when you figure things out and have a plan of attack!

Stay strong and hang in there! Hugs!

Another "No, really. You're in the absolute worst part--things do get better. I swear." Etna's right--I was in her position just a few short weeks before she....and I didn't believe the lovely ladies (and a few gentlemen) here either. But it does. Once you've got a plan laid out, that'll help. Once you start treatment, that'll help.

That said, don't be shy about accepting anti-anxiety meds, should your physician suggest them. Benzodiazepans are common, but I"m on Trazodone. Doesn't mean you're weak, or that you'll be stuck on them forever. Just that you're going through a really bleeped patch just now.

Stay away from Google. Bring note takers. All very good advice! My brain shut down completely when I heard my diagnosis, and it took me a couple of weeks before I started even coming up with questions.

Actually undergoing the procedures isn't exactly a piece of cake, mind. But fear of the unknown is ghastly.

Now, about these treatments.

Take a deep breath. Another. The dark hours of the night are the worst.

Let's start with: do you know what stage your cancer is? That influences what your treatment sequence will be. Keep in mind that not everyone undergoes all of the treatments, and that you may yourself have some choice in which treatments you undergo.

Have you spoken with an oncologist? A surgeon? What did they say?

I got through all of chemo with no port. Ask if you can try no port, just through the vein. Ask for Xanax and Ambien to help you deal with this and get sleep at night. Don't google and avoid the internet. Every BC is different. Don't suffer worry you don't have to. I was Stage 3 and lots of nodes positive. It's two years later, my hair is long and I am in the best shape I've been in years.

If it helps, I didn't even have chemo, just surgery-radiation-tamoxifen, but then I'm only stage 0.. As NoWhyTolt said, there are many paths through this, depending on where you start. Please do keep posting here as you find out more, but I'd suggest doing what you can to divert yourself until Tuesday. Play with your babies. Plan holiday celebrations (if you celebrate a holiday around now). Go to the zoo. Dig a garden bed.

breezy, I was so scared of chemo. I told my husband no way in hell. Well I did do it and it was NOTas horrible as they portray it in the movies. I still walked my two chocolate labs everyday during chemo. Losing my hair wasn't fun since I'm so vain about it lol. It's grown back and I think I'll keep it shorter - it's better than it was if that's possible.

You may not even have to do chemo so don't go there until you get there. Good luck on Tuesday - my appointment with my MO got pushed back to Jan 12th bleh

Nancy

Same here, diagnosed November 24, I am 43 with 3 kids, 5,8 and 10. I have been a mess since. My surgery is next week,

Just something to give you hope about hair...I used cold caps and saved my hair. There are options. Many women have had success with the caps. They really do work.